“I really didn’t know it was going to happen for me. You see, I had resigned to fate that someday, somehow, I would have those children I have been dreaming about and had already named, but I thought it was going to take me decades…too many issues” said Angel, a mother of twins warily.
Becoming a mother was one of Angel’s earliest desires in life. Why? She really couldn’t say, but she was the kid who was always drawn to babies at parties, church, anyplace where there was a baby in sight, she would just gravitate towards. Being the last child, she didn’t have the privilege of having a baby brother or sister to cuddle. She harassed her mom with tears and words, when she baby craving grew worse.
She would sometimes pat her mom’s belly, and call forth a baby, but Mama Angel didn’t budge oh, so she transferred her mothering tendencies to her dolls. Oh, she had many of those, whom she gave names and had special wardrobes for. That should give you an idea of how besotted Angel was with children.
So, when she got married and the babies weren’t coming, it was a shocker. One month turned into three months, and then six months, and then she fell terribly ill. So ill that she was hospitalised. The general perception of the cause of her sickness was that she had gotten pregnant and was suffering from the drama of the first trimester. And she actually thought she was pregnant, because she had been experiencing some pregnancy-like symptoms, however when several scans revealed she wasn’t, she was heartbroken, but she was too ill to grieve over her non-existent pregnancy.
After she fully recovered, she intimated her doctor of her TTC efforts, and he prescribed some supplements to boost her chances of conceiving. After four months of taking those supplements without results, she abandoned the supplements, and just tried sha.
Very soon, they stopped counting months and actually starting counting years. One year turned to 5-treatment filled years. The sixth year was the same, but by the seventh year, something happened. She just got pregnant. She was not in the middle of any treatment, had not just finished any treatment, wasn’t about to start one. It was one of those rare months in her TTC life, when all the noise was quiet.
She was just in that space where she was taking a breather before thinking of what next to do…and then gbam. She peed on a stick. Lo and behold, there were two lines.
Not sure what she was seeing, Angel sent a picture to her husband and he carefully asked, “What does this mean?” He answered his own questions quickly enough, “Does it mean we are pregnant?”
That was the only response Angel could type out, so overwhelmed with emotion she was. The past seven years flashed before her eyes, and it dawned on her that, for the very first time, she was pregnant; she was going to have a baby. She wasn’t a TTC mom from that instant, but a momma-to-be.
When her husband got back home, they went to the hospital to have a proper blood test done, and it was confirmed. Angel was indeed pregnant, and a scan revealed there were two gestational sacs in place.
The pregnancy was a drama-free one, and on the day she held her babies in her arms, she knew the wait was worth it, the numerous treatments were worth it, her babies and the fact that she was now a momma, made it all worth it.
For Omolayo, patience isn’t exactly one of her best features. She is an energetic person, who literally makes things happen. If you’re not sharp enough, Omolayo can send you on an errand and still go right ahead to do it, even before you get to it.
Another thing that sometimes scares people is her excellence driven-spirit. So, not only is she a bundle of energy, she wants to do her very best…all the time!
These two great features of her life also turned out to be the bane of her TTC journey. Like an A student that she was, Omolayo prepared for marriage; the number of children, their names, when to have them, the number of years between them, the kind of schools they would go to, the environment in which they will be raised, etc.. She cared about all those details and noted them down.
A year after marriage, when she and her husband had planned to start having kids, for some reason, which she still doesn’t know till today, something pushed her to go for a fertility assessment. The results were frightening for her. The real reasons she had bad cramps while entertaining the witch, was actually as a result of endometriosis, not just normal menstrual cramps.
The doctor revealed it would be a hassle for her to get pregnant, and that the endo would only grow worse, as the years progressed. He suggested some treatment option, but it seemed as though the more she tried, the harder it became to have a baby.
Indeed it grew harder when her husband was diagnosed with low sperm count too. It looked like all her life’s projections were thrown out of the window. When she should have been having her second child, she was still TTC the first one.
Omolayo who used to re-write her projections as the years went along, stopped and just put all her plans in the Almighty’s hands.
In the fourth year of their marriage, she took a major step, a different approach to their fertility treatment. It was one that hurt her sense of self in a major way, but the hope that it could result in a baby propelled her forward, and in the fifth year of her marriage, in fact in the same month as her wedding anniversary, Omolayo welcomed her beautiful son.
He was given the names picked out for him and also the one for his sibling, who would have been born that same year, if Omolayo’s projection had worked out.
Projections or not, delays or not, Omolayo’s TTC journey had an expiry date. She held her own baby.
For some TTC moms, it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel and no one can really blame them; they have stayed so long in the waiting room!
It seemed to be happening for everyone else, but not for them, but I have good news, it can happen for you too.
If it has happened for people who have given up hope, if it has happened for women who are almost menopausal, then it can happen for you.
No, you are not going to TTC forever.
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