When you need to take a break from TTC!

17
2031

Oh my days! I am laughing so hard right now, as I pen this. A lot of drama from my TTC days just came to mind, and even though they are all funny now in retrospect, there was nothing funny about them back then. I can be a bit of a melancholy sometimes and when I was trying to conceive, I just could not figure out why I wasn’t getting pregnant. One particular incident comes to mind, when I got news about a college classmate putting to bed. Now, I try not to be envious of anyone’€s good fortune, but news of Cynthia’s childbirth got me like €”Why do bad things happen to good people?”.€ I went to bed that night in tears, wondering why a good girl like me would have to beg for a baby, while retired aristo like Cynthia would get a baby effortlessly. I queried God and asked a thousand questions until I was on border-line blasphemy and had to call myself to order.

I pouted for days and even messed up my cooking, so much so that hubby finally decided I needed to go on a break from TTC. He lamented that my craving for a baby was driving me crazy, and I needed to breathe and realize that life is bigger than parenthood. I looked at him like he was the one who was insane. How could he say life is bigger than parenthood? What is life if species did not procreate? And how could he suggest that I take a break from TTC? That was only going to delay my having a baby even more! I only saw reason with him one night when I was randomly perusing the Bible and stumbled on a scripture (Matthew 11: 28) that said Come to me, all you that labour and are heavy ladened, and I shall give you rest. Suddenly, resting looked so appealing and I realized that I had worked myself to weariness. I needed to rest. The worrying wasn’t making the two pink lines show anyways…so I did what I thought was impossible. I took a break from TTC. The plan was to start assisted reproduction after putting my body and mind in a good state, but somehow I got pregnant while on my rest, and had my baby without needing IVF.

So, when should you take a break?

1. When you are overwhelmed mentally

Conception is as much a physical act, as it is mental. The human body is a mystery that scientists are still trying to solve, but one thing all researchers agree on is that; women in a relaxed state of mind get pregnant faster and more easily than those who are mentally-drained. Whether it is TTC-related or not, if your mind has been pushed to the limit, then baby making should not be something to add to the list. Take your mind off the baby cravings, and focus on clearing your mind. If it’s a target at work; face it, hit it and then get back to the drawing board.

2.  After a couple of failed cycles

Even your Gynaecologist is going to recommend that you take a break if you have recently endured a couple of failed cycles. Your body needs to recover from all those shots and your hormones also need to balance up before you try again. Sometimes, it can be tempting to just go on to the next one, but it is important to let go for a bit. Taking a break in this case can help you realize what contributed to the failed cycles; whether you didn’t respond well, if you didn’t like the nurses, if you had work or family pressure while you were cycling, if your egg quality was bad, if there was a problem with the transfer, if you were too anxious…Knowing what did not work puts you one step closer to what works.

3. If your marriage is suffering

It is so easy to get carried away by TTC activities that we neglect the men we want to have babies for. In my case, I thought he didn’€t want a baby as much as I did, so I shut him out a lot and even gave him the silent treatment on some days when I was pretty much a drama queen. If your every waking and sleeping thoughts center around the baby you want so much to hold, forgetting that you have a bigger baby that also wants just as much cuddle and hugs, then you need to take a break. Release the reins on the childbearing thingy and remind your husband that you are still the hoochie mama he married.

4. If you can’€t recognized yourself anymore

I am not even talking about the frown lines that are starting to appear on your forehead, or the eye bags that you try to cover up with excess foundation and concealer, because of all the sleep you have been losing. I am talking about this new envious, never-happy-for-anybody, cringe-at-the-news-of-a-childbirth, avoiding-family-gatherings person that you have become. You have to come out of this challenge a better person. You have to have learnt a thing or two about the virtues of long suffering and patience from this journey, not wearing the cloak of jealousy like a fur coat that is going out of season. Search your heart my sister, if you have forgotten how to rejoice with others…leave baby and fix your heart!

Good luck, everyone! God speed to us all!

 

 

 

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Photo Credits

  1. https://soulfoodberlin.wordpress.com
  2. http://madamenoire.com/
  3. http://www.claudiaspahr.com
  4. http://northdallasgazette.com
  5. https://bcwnetwork.com

17 COMMENTS

  1. Most times we push ourselves too hard that our body needs rest but its takes the intervation of gyn. or husband to realise that. Thanks for putting this together.

  2. Thanks Ifeoma for the nice peice. Pls how does one tk a break from ttc? Is it that u stop bd with LJ? Or does it have to do with removing ur every thought from ttc?

    • @celestial ,taking a break depends on individuals.
      For example: I have been thru OIx13 ,3IUI ,2IVF ,1ICSI everything failed. I have been taking a break for the past 3months…no operation,no scan,no pills,no injection. All I do ATM is take my regular multivitamin, eat clean & healthy, exercise little and sleep well well. Also am positive that nothing is above God but am not putting pressure/stress on my self. There is more to life than TTC,just enjoying my normal regular married sisi life with my DH… ;-)

  3. @pearl thanks hun, i agree with you @mrs-al you are already one step ahead darling, am sure you know how to get the old bubbly you back. Aug 1st is just around the corner and you have to have a fabulous time 😉
    Hi Celestial, taking a break doesn’t mean stopping sex darling ,it is about taking a mental break from it. Lots of time conception happens when we are not looking

  4. Great post Lady, sometimes we over relax in the taking a break though cos of fear. I’ve been supposedly taking a break now for 2years it took husby to push me to start an ivf process for next month. It’s scary so I guess the fear of the unknown atimes makes me just wanna be in the testing phase forever. Baby dust to us all!!!

  5. I love the picture of the women with the flowers. May I use this same picture on my website and business cards?

    Thank you for your time
    Jasmine Patterson

  6. This describes me at the moment. I jst eat right, take my drugs , exercise and have plenty uncalculated sex ……………………….. No clinic visit till sometime next month.

  7. Hello Jasmine, the photo was culled with credits at the bottom of the article. If you are going to use same, please remember to attach the credits. Thank you.

    You know it is needed hun @mrsd take things easy and just enjoy being YOU It would pay off by God’s grace :hugs:

  8. This is me right now I can’t even be happy for my friends that are popping babies easily n I am just here crying myself to sleep. So glad I found this page. This is so hard and people are just insensitive

    • Dear Penielsmum, sending you lots of :hugs: hun. It can be hard, and people can truly be insensitive…but we just have to keep the faith, and trust God that something big is on the way! :dust: to you hun

  9. Hmmmmmm is it really easy to take a break? God knows having a baby has become my waking and sleeping thought.i have tried to take my mind off ttc and focus on other things, but it’s just not working.

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