Many people look forward to Valentine’s Day, but not everyone looks at it with the same eyes. For some, it’s the day they lost a loved one, for some, it epitomizes what could have been, a dream aborted. Yet for others, it is a day best left out of the calendar, as it reminds them of the how cruel and unfeeling the world can be.
Some of these people for whom Valentine’s Day brings grave reminders shared their stories. While you celebrate, perhaps, you can spare a moment to pray for these ones.
Although, she has been separated for three years now, Valentine’s Day still opens her old wound regarding the numerous instances of infidelity of her husband, which led them down the route of seeking divorce.
She had been married for 15 years, and apart from the first five years, she couldn’t deny the existence of the many women in her husband’s life. As he got richer, his tastes in women increased, and at any pont in time, he had at least two ladies on the side. The situation was particularly bad during Valentine’s period. At that time, the girls were the ones looking for him.
After monitoring the situation, she decided to be spending Valentine’s Day with her husband, so she would meet him for a luxurious lunch at his office, go for short shopping trips, and then come back to get her husband for their dinner date at the latest restaurant in town.
And for years, she thought she had succeeded in keeping the girls at bay, at least on Valentine’s Day, until she found out that, one, her husband usually planned brunch dates with not one, but two ladies, every year. Two, he bought the same gifts as the side-chicks for her…and she just went ballistic.
It was four days to Valentine’s Day and it was the end of their marriage as they knew it. Her husband was unrepentant, he expected her to continue to understand his need to have side chicks.
Tutu had had enough, and she left.
He has begged, everyone has begged, but Tutu’s mind is made up and they are proceeding with the divorce.
Has Tutu’s husband changed his ways? The answer is No!
On February 14th 2014, Maria’s rainbow pregnancy hit the 12 week mark and she thought she was in the all-clear and could finally relax. If only. That night, Maria miscarried the baby.
Maria had gotten up from the comfort of her husband’s arms to take used plates into the kitchen and her sleepy husband had noticed there were blood stains on her clothes. At the same time as the thought woke up his brain, he told his wife about the blood stain and grabbed his car keys.
Within minutes, they were on the road to the hospital and in serious panic. Their thoughts were similar, “Please Lord, let’s not lose this baby too.”
They got to the hospital, saw the attending doctor, who looked through her file and ordered a scan, she was immediately gotten off her feet and settled on a bed.
Maria went for the scan. However, she soon knew everything wasn’t fine given the tension emanating from the doctor. It was clear that the baby was gone. The heartbeat earlier detected was no longer there. The baby hadn’t grown past ten weeks.
Maria sobbed quietly into her clothes.
A day that had started out on an awesome note, with her husband going out of his way to make her happy, attending to her every need; with backrubs, even though her back wasn’t hurting, and foot rubs, even though her feet were perfectly okay. He sought any opportunity to touch her barely there bump.
And they joyed in the secret that was only between them. Neither her parents nor his knew they were expecting again. They were playing it, this time, quite close to their chest.
But on that Valentine’s Day, they lost yet another baby, and she again had to suffer through an induced labour to birth her dead foetus.
Maria and her husband have tried to reclaim the day for their love, but they can’t help but recall their loss of a child on that day.
It’s painful, but Valentine’s Day for Maria will always stir unpleasant memories, especially as she’s still TTC.
If she had the opportunity, she would have chosen another day, at least to preserve the memories of Valentine’s Day, but it just so happened that the only doctor who could perform her surgery would not be available at a later date, so the surgery was scheduled for Valentine’s Day morning.
It took place. It was a success. But it was also the surgery which meant she would no longer be able to have children ever in her life. It was a hysterectomy.
Yes, the pain has subsided but was it worth the knowledge that she would never bear a child?
True, the doctor told her about surrogacy, and how she could become a mother via that means. It was all well and good, except for the fact that she had no husband currently.
Her ex left, when the issues with her fertility got too much for him to deal with.
He’s a father-to-be now.
While Lilian is dealing not only with his betrayal of her love, but also grappling with the fact that motherhood is going to be a tough nut to crack for her, she still wants to find a man too.
So, Valentine doesn’t even come into play for Lilian at all.
They say, different strokes for different people in this life, and it is exactly the case with our sisters in this article. While some are excited about the day and the opportunity to showcase their love, these sisters could very well do without the reminders of what’s missing in their lives.
All I can say is Godspeed and baby dust.
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