When Genotype Gets In The Way

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For people born with the AS genotype, it is drummed into their heads from a very young age to avoid getting entangled with anybody also with the AS genotype, for fear of conceiving a child with the SS genotype, commonly referred to as sickle cell anaemia. This warning is usually solidified by watching the pains and suffering of real life people with this SS genotype (whom we crudely refer to as sicklers), of whom these AS kids would almost surely know at least 1. In my case, watching some of my Primary Schoolmates and family friends moan and writhe in pain, forever in and out of hospital, was enough to scare me to my bones. Having some of them actually die made me conclude that this was, indeed, a deadly disease.

You see, as early as the age of 8, I knew I had the AS genotype. So practically all my life, I told anyone who cared to listen how I would most surely never end up with anyone with the AS genotype. And for the early part of my dating life, I was lucky not to encounter any man with it. But when I turned 23, I met someone who swept me off my feet. We fell hard in love so fast, there was barely time to think of anything else. By the time we found out we had the AS genotype, it was too late. We were too far gone, and breaking up was not an option. We were soon engaged, much to the chagrin of our fathers (our mothers were more sympathetic). For us, the option of prenatal diagnosis wasn’t to be considered. As Catholics, the thought of having to terminate a pregnancy, at whatever stage, was completely out of the question. Our mothers suggested us having only 1 child, and hoping for the best that that one child wouldn’t have the SS genotype. Eventually, we found a solution online, by way of a Ghanaian doctor practicing in the United States, whose IVF specialty was Pre-Implantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD), wherein the embryos would be screened, and only those free of the SS genotype would be transferred. This was music to our ears…except for 1 critical factor. At 27 and 26 years old respectively, we were both at the very bottom rung of the career ladder…translation being that there was no way we could afford the $20,000 cost of the procedure. Whilst we were still wondering how we would start a savings plan, and how long it would take us to in fact save this amount, he cheated on me, and the relationship came to an abrupt end. On the one hand, it was the most devastating thing that could ever happen to me, and it took me months (years, if I’m to be honest) to get over. But a part of me was relieved that I wouldn’t have to go down that route again.

When I started dating the next guy, I was convinced God wouldn’t put me in that same position back-to-back. I told myself that lightening didn’t strike the same place twice. So, I foolishly didn’t ask about the new guy’s genotype. Lo and behold, when we were already getting serious, I found out that he too had the AS genotype. I was devastated. But, as he was a few years older and had a better job, he convinced me that the PGD procedure wasn’t out of our financial reach. Alas, after the first few months of infatuation, the love faded and it turned out we were not as compatible as we’d thought, so we proceeded to part ways.

When I met the man who would become my husband, I had to shine my eye oh! I wasn’t shy to ask the critical question. In the past, my worry had been that it would have been way too forward and presumptuous to ask a guy about his genotype. It would have been right up there with the “Where are we going?” or “What are we doing?” questions. Cringeworthy! Hmmm…but after being twice bitten, cringing a little bit wouldn’t kill me. I was lucky that the opportunity to ask presented itself on a platter of gold. My new boyfriend (now husband) knew my former fiancé , and, on one of our earlier dates, asked me why we had broken up. I answered that genotype, as well as the “cheatation” (as Wendy Williams would say) had been the reasons we had parted ways. With the golden opportunity staring me in the face, I didn’t miss the chance to ask him about his genotype. I was almost weak with relief when I found out he had the AA genotype. I was so happy that I wouldn’t have to deal with that stress.

A friend of mine started dating her boyfriend from their 1st year in University. They were 5 years into their relationship when they found out they both had the AS genotype, but they forged ahead. By the time they had been dating for 10 years, marriage came up, but her Mother firmly put her foot down, refusing to allow this union take place. For almost 2 years, so many emissaries were sent to plead with my friend’s Mom, on behalf of the couple. Aunties, Uncles, Pastors, there was hardly anyone who didn’t try to put a word in. When all hope appeared lost, an Aunt was able to get her Mom come around, using the simple reason that, my friend was turning 30 that year, and they didn’t want her to be an old maid. Today, 10 years later, my friend and her husband have 2 beautiful kids (a girl and a boy), neither of whom has the SS genotype. Whether they have been lucky, or have had to terminate a few other pregnancies, I am not close enough to her to ask. But at least, they appear to have a happy ending to their story.

Today, the Pre-Implantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD) is no longer some out-of-reach procedure. A number of hospitals here in Nigeria successfully carry it out. Yes, it is still very expensive (much more so than a standard IVF procedure), but there is some comfort in knowing it is available. This is the only solution to the problem I feel takes less of an emotional (albeit financial) toll on the couple. For couples who opt to terminate SS-genotype pregnancies, I find it hard to believe that they, especially the female partners, will walk away from the procedure unscathed. At 9 weeks, you have started getting used to the idea of being pregnant and have also started bonding with the child. Bringing this to an abrupt end will, no doubt, be painful…and I don’t mean physically. And for couples who have to do this multiple times…I can’t even imagine the emotional turmoil!

But it’s supposed to be a 1 in 4 chance, they say. True…that is the theory. But the reality is that, often times, this 25% rule holds no water. I have heard miracle stories of families with not one of their kids being of the SS genotype. I also know a family of 6 kids, 4 of whom had the SS genotype (2 of these 4 have, unfortunately, passed away). The truth is that there is no hard or fast rule to it, and one can never truly predict.

So, if you and your partner have the AS genotype, you have to have a loooong chat about the options available to you. If you can not afford the PGD approach, are against the prenatal diagnosis and termination approach, and don’t consider adoption, or permanent birth control as an option, you might want to have a rethink about your decision to start a family. No matter how deep and strong the love is, seeing your child (or worse still, children) in that kind of considerable pain, is enough to strain the best of relationships. It might actually be easier in the long run to just start life afresh, with a new partner.

Food for thought!

 

 

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253 COMMENTS

  1. Thank you for this article. I and hubby are both AS. When we found out, we were devastated! But after learning about PND, we decided to forge ahead. No one in our family except my Mum knows. We were fortunate to have a girl without the ss genotype and decided that’s enough for us or until our faith becomes immovable like mount everest. But with PGD, we may have a rethink.

    • Hi Jen. I don’t know how I missed this comment. You are so lucky to have your daughter. Thank God for technology that has made things possible for her to have a sibling. Good luck dear :hug:

  2. I had no idea that screening could be done on embryos. In-fact I told a good friend (who is Catholic) there was no way outside of aborting the child at an early stage. Where is that my phone!!!

  3. it doesn’t mean dat d fact dat AS married AS they wl give birth to SS they only hv 25% chance of hvin SS nd AS nd 50% chance of hvin AS i hv seen wre AS man married AS woman nd all dre offspring are AS.

  4. Thank you for this article,gave me a clearer view on things,my boyfriend and i are of the AS genotype,i was willing to go to the next stage with him until he started acting funny when my mum asked me to invite him home to get to know my family. He never gave me a reply and its been 3 weeks now,he stopped calling for a while,i felt terrible and used but i feel better now knowing where i stand. I just pray for a compatible man who is of the AA genotype. That AS stuff put a strain on the r/ship anyway

    • Hi Tenny, I believe these things sometimes happen to bring things to a natural end. If my ex-fiance hadn’t misbehaved, we might have ended up getting married and embarking on that AS/AS journey. So, be glad my dear. You just might have dodged a bullet :good:

      It’s not that it’s a bad journey for all AS couples. For those who are able to ride the roller coaster, hopefully it all works out well in the end. But if you’re able to jump off beforehand, all the better.

      Good luck hun! I’m sure you’ll find your man soon :hugs: :hug:

      • Same thing happened to me it wasn’t until I realised that his physical abusive nature towards me was never going to stop and I battled with the thought of leaving him, then God made me realise after pre marriage check up that he was AS cause I already knew since time immemorial that I was AS. I guess God just used that to give me the strength to break up the relationship. Today I am very very very happy!!!

  5. ThyPreciousjewel Abisola and Efya Lescanzy MaameAba Elias, I dont think AS and AC is a safe combination either, as there is the risk of the SC genotype, which carries almost the same risk as SS

  6. Bullshit!!! What happens to those born sicklers? Don’t they have potentials of living to see their great grand children? The author is stereotypical and stigmatizing sicklers, and I hate it.
    Sicklers were created by God. They have the same chances of living long and dying young like every other whether AS or SS. So let’s STOP this STIGMATIZATION. Rubbish!

  7. I was also a victim of AS stuff circumstance, I was like the end of d world has come, it took me ten good months to get over it, but thank God for my life, life goes on.

    • My dear Omolola…it will only get better…you’ll see. It took me a long time to get over my ex…but I thank God I was able to fully get him out of my system…and I thank God all the more, every time I see my children. You’ll be fine my dear :hugs:

  8. My dear chummie Onukaogu, it’s not stigmatisation, it’s better to break the chain since sickle cell disease is preventable. It is better to create awareness and break the sickle cycle. God bless you!

  9. Hi Tenny, am currently dating a guy whom I love so much but we are both AS..
    He stays abroad and promised that we will talk it over once he comes back but I have started noticing changes in his character although he loves me so so much.. I don’t know whether I should continue with d relationship or quit.? Please I need ur advice..
    No insults please..

    • Hi Alex. First of all, nobody will ever insult you here :friends:. Secondly, my dear, from my experience, when they start behaving funny, it might be that friends and family might have succeeded in making them change their minds. My dear, whilst we can’t confirm for sure that he is looking for an exit strategy, you just have to prepare yourself for it.

      What I would advice is that you start conditioning yourself to move on. Don’t invest too much emotionally any more. But you also have to shine your eye. Be extra vigilant for any attempts on his side to pick fights unnecessarily or reduce his calls, e-mails or chats. If you watch out for the warning signs as they are glaring, my dear please move on sharply.

      To me, the only time AS couples should be together is if their love is 100% and everything else is perfect. If there are already issues, my dear, it might not be worth it.

      Sending you hugs dear :hug:

  10. Hi read your article and it’s also my story fell in love in a girl, it was a nice relationship, and the best so far sadly I never asked about the Genotype, until it was too late, we had to break up but that was like years later, till now it still bugs me as my current dating life isn’t even improving. But am glad it didn’t happen because I’ve had friends (SS) who died and I am not sure if i can handle such tragedy on my part.

    • Dear Okeowo Aderemi, it might hurt now, but it really is for the best. It is even traumatising to see people you love suffer, and be totally helpless! You’ll be fine, don’t worry :hugs:

  11. God did not create them, if wr were being carefull and not overlook things they wouldnt have been born into this world.some do it out of love,saying we can cope but no one can really cope with it. Infact no one prays to experience it . A woman in my area lose two of her children same month to these sickness and they were both graduate and were serving.

    • Why would u say God did not create them. Do you think before you type. It’s in the bibble before yea was born I knew thee in the Olden days wen there was no technology to find out the genotype of a child how do u think dey coped. Please rephrase your statement and don’t be stupid.

      • Hi Jessica, I’m sure, Traci, who wrote that comment over a year ago, did not mean to insult anyone, as you can see from the instance of the woman, who lost two of her grown children in the same month to the sickle cell, which she gave. She’s concerned about how the decisions we make today affect our future.

        Meanwhile, using abusive words gets us nowhere.

  12. It’s not easy to manage an ss child when in crisis, the trauma of seeing them in so much pains & you not being able to help them in any way is too soul wrecking, love ceases btw parents when crisis comes, only tears, pls choose yr partners well, it will save you from a lot of heartache.

  13. Hi there, thanks for that peace. i and my husband are both As and we have three beautiful kids. unluky for us i tested AA wIth my first baby that was before we got married but after the birth of my first we started having these AS issues. we had 3 test for him none came out ss but he was still getting sicker quite often. we settled on SF which is not bad but i think all couples should cheack before taking a next step. i have just been lucky and my son is doing wonderful. my girls are good too. just thought i should share.

  14. AS + AC – Aa; Sc; Ac; As….As+Ss – AS; AS;ss; ss hmmm…AS+Aa – as; aa…..mind u all this result dont come accordingly the are chosen randomly…if we hv AA + As it is possible to hv All AS…

  15. nd if we hv AS +AS it possible to hv all SS….but d truth….our fore fathers dont knw abt all this abt genotype nd d marry nd some hv problems some do not….it is posible to hv As+AS nd no SS…my family is a testimony to dat …all we just nid is to pray nd do the right thing…to my knowledge churches dont do such wedding if botg are AS….plis open ur eyes bfore u fall in love it is u nd i dat can put an end to sickle cell….hmmmm be part of the change in ur own way

  16. I dnt think dere is a problem with AS nd AS getting married but rather de number of children to be given birth to is de problem God is in control but we must make sure our decisions doesn’t affect our innocent children.

  17. Hi Nicole,

    Thanks for this post. As for me, my ex-boyfriend and i broke up based on a mutual understanding upon finding out that we both had the genotype AS as it was some months for us to finally settle as a couple. We had to agree because we were uncertain of what the future held for us and going through all these emotional trauma wouldn’t have been best for our beautiful relationship. It wasn’t an easy decision though but i thank God for giving us the strength to go through the breakup. He’s now happily married with an AA genotype lady.

    • My dear Sharon! Be rest assured that your own AA genotype guy is on his way! My AS ex also married before I had even started dating, and I won’t lie that it didn’t hurt. It was painful! But I am so grateful to God for where I am now…with 2 beautiful and gorgeous healthy children. Our GOD will continue to see us through hun :hugs: :hug:

  18. Wat i knw is dat since u av knw ur status u dnt need 2 used ur own 2 affect d innocence children if u said intime of our 4father they are nt used 2 do genotype i wt u 2 knw dat dey av nt enlighted 2 it nd is d major prblm causing premature death be wise

  19. Don’t be deceived if u cannot afford d cost don’t even try at all because d tendency dat d 1st wil be AS is more dan 70% and u don’t wanna see ur kid in pains.D pain threshold is like that of labour.If u r AS is better to ask before u fall in love there is nothing wrong with that.

  20. Theres no need to spiritualise dis tins, its just like not goin for HIV n fertility test before gettin married. Tnk.God for technology, these tin are available so lets use them so we can avoid troubles in.future. D Bible said “wisdom is profitable to direct”

  21. This genotype situation is terrible. I personally am an SCD patient and it hasn’t been easy finding a guy with AA genotype. I have personally had to detach myself from guys who I later found to be either AS or SS. But eventually it gets better. I always say I won’t subject another human being to the pain of SCD, I’d much rather be single

    • Thanks so much for this, Nana! That is the best way to approach it. And God will surely send a compatible genotyped man your way. Sending you lots of :hugs: :hug:

  22. Thanks for your write up. I’m an SCD patient and luckily I met an AA man to marry. I was resolute not to marry any genotype until I find an AA and God being good I met one.

    Pregnancy with SCD isn’t easy either because it could pose a high risk of mortality to the mother and child and I’ve been in and out of hospital. Thanks be to God for a supportive husband, family and medical team taking care of me.

    My advise is couples should try to avoid a mismatch out of love, when crises set in ” Ebi love u go chop”? Lol

    I’m ready to share my story with your blog if you find it relevant.

    Cheers,

    Akorfa.

      • I also had the same experience for about two years I was planning to stay and face the reality. Until I thought of not endangering the life of my unborn children,so we both departed and prayed for each other to get a better match.
        Have gotten an AA match and am happily married now. Best of luck everyone

    • Congratulations dear Akorfa. I’m a lady with the SD too who has been jilted by guys too. One even like about his genotype but thankgod I find my real love in an AA man and we are soon to tie the knot

  23. Isn’t easy @ all,I was once a victim of genotype incompatibility,I ave to lose a relationship of good 7yrs,it was God dat redeemed me.it took me years to move ahead but thank God today,am an happy wife of a wonderful husband.wen am to write my project in my final year in sch of midwifery I took d bold step to write abt premarital genotype screening amg students of selected tertiary sch in oyo state

  24. I am a person living with Sickle Cell disease, I am 38, married, with 3 amazing kids. I was lucky to have God have mercy on me, by sending an AA person. Typically I call my self a walking miracle… However with every pregnancy it’s been a tough experience, blood transfusions, the whole gamut. However I just heard about thhe PGD option from a friend who all her life she’s always had suitors that are AS. This has led to her having to govt up relationships and she is staring 40, so she had research her options and share this with me. This medical procedures is fantastic.. cos I wonder for my kids that are all AS.. it’s comforting to know it’s in Nigeria and I hope by the time my kids are ready it will be more affordable.. I will definitely start sharing with the options as soon as they old enough so that they don’t have to give up on love just because of their genotype.. great job… Love reading the blogs….

  25. I just discovered 2 days that I am AS and I feel like life has left my body coz my boyfriend is also AS (we intend to get married next year) I haven’t told him yet coz he is writing an important exam and this will devastate him. I have never been lucky in relationships till I met him(same with him), he is simply amazing.
    My heart is broken for the love that I might lose and for my unborn children.
    I’ve only told my brother about this and he has been very supportive, to my surprise. Thank you for this article, it has given me hope.

    • It is well with you, Molly hun! Thankfully, there are options available now. If you are sure he is worth fighting for, then go for it hun…but wisely! Send me a message if you need to talk :hugs:

  26. dearies
    am a victim of As genotype and this As issue had deprived me of 2 good suitors and am 27 to turn 28 this yr,am beginning to get scared God help me

    • My dear Ann, don’t you worry hun. I was 27 when my own engagement broke, to my AS suitor…and I was so worried about not getting another I would love as much. But I did…and I thank God! He will do the same for you hun :hugs:

  27. O my dear,thanks so much for sharing.We both are ready to sacrifice any amount of money to forge ahead together as AS couples only we did not know how.We are a few month from getting married n this information will bring our failing pirits back to life.Thanks n God bless you.

  28. Nice piece, I went through this pain of parting I felt as if the world has come to an end for me, after 7yrs of happy relationship I and my love decided to check on our Genotype lo and behold it’s turn AS both of us being a medical personnel knowing fully it implications I mean the subsequent result I told my parent and her parent about it other relations and friends having heard of it said no this can’t work and I said it is possible with God they insist on it finally, I decided to seek the face of God in fasting and prayers and the faithful God I serve after series of AS laboratory tests result He changed my Genotype to AA what a great God.
    All that was said is true but we shouldn’t forget that if take our impossibilities to the God of all impossibilities He will cause us to smile again now I’m happy in the God of my salvation how He cause me to rejoice and smile again.
    So in as much as this things are true we shouldn’t underrated the power of God for He will not fail us just trust God I am a living witness.

    • I join my faith to yours and ipray to God to changemy own genotype IJN .Pls did u go for d retest immediately after d prayers or how did u go about it ,pls i want to know.tnx

    • Thank you HASSAN! I waited to see a resounding testimony. I was wondering how long science will determine my happiness and my leverage to a peaceful life. I ask every soul who shows interest in me their genotype… I have been so careful… and yet still fell a victim of the genotype clash once again! And I asked God is this the life you promised me? That at the edge of my break true ….science begins to show it ugly head? I decided to get this done with once and for all…. not too long from now I will be sharing my testimony! Thank you for redeeming the faith and reminding us that there is a God who sees it all and cares…. enough is enough … we can’t continue to preach the gospel and not experience the blessings! Thank you!

  29. I’m so devastated right now. My boyfriend and I are both AS we love each other so much. I’ve been crying profusely ever since. I don’t know what to do I will be 27 next month.

    • Hi Lami. E-hugs for you but the truth is AS couples are at just too much risk of having SS babies and my sister, you don’t really want to live through one of their crises or the pain. But then, you can do Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis, so you get only babies without sickle cell. Goodluck…

  30. Interesting article I must say, interesting comments too.
    My husband and I are both AS, we had IVF done but as at 2014 cost 1.5m for the PGD so we couldnt afford it. We have a handsome boy but we worry because we do not know what the results of his genotype will be. I will not proceed to have more kids without the PGD.
    You can take the risk but before you do ask yourselves if you really want to have a restless mind for the restof your life. * do you think your relationship can stand the strain the horrors of running to the hospital every now and then can give * can you handle the fact that should your child be SS, you may not be able to help with the gruelling pains associated with it.
    Sometimes, the story may end beautifully, but it not all the time.
    We hope for the best results for our son when we test him in six months time.
    I Wish you the vest as you make your life’s biggest decision.

    • Thank you Stacy for this insight. It must have taken a lot for you to go ahead and get pregnant, knowing the risk of sickle cell was a very real risk. Keeping everything crossable crossed for the best outcome, when your son goes for his test in six month’s time.
      All the best ladies.

  31. Thanks for this article. My boyfriend and discovered we were both AS about a year ago but our relationship has grown stronger in spite of that. However, we are looking towards getting married next year but our families and church leaders are already opposing the relationship. We want to go ahead especially with the PGD option. I’m just wondering how realistic it is especially as we are both young and may not be able to afford the procedure soon. We can stick to contraceptives and save up for the procedure but the concept is a bit scary,. Are contraceptives really reliable? Can we mistakenly get pregnant? I know all the risks but I think it’s more important to marry the right person. What do you advice?

  32. I have SCD and found your post interesting. I am 32 and I can tell u growing up with SCD wasn’t a walk in the park but what most people forget is that there are far worse things that can happen to ur child than having SCD especially in 2016. I can tell u for a fact that having ss or sc is not a death sentence, yes there r challenges but it’s a chronic disease, what do you expect.

    I know I’m still young, but I have outlived some friends who were considered healthy and expected to live longer. I have 2 good friends with SCD and I can tell u we do not think of ourself as unfortunate. If anything we’ve lived happy contented lives. I have had friends die of heart attacks, or even without explanation.

    Like my dr always says, sickle cell today isnt what it was even 10 years ago. It can be managed pretty well. You need to undertand that u have a chronic disease and live accordingly. I have met people with AS who are always sick and have met people with SS who barely have any crisis.

    Let me cut this short….all I’m trying to say is that genotype incompatibility sucks but what’s more important is understanding what ss is and how to manage it. I have always looked for love, compassion and support in a partner and will choose that any day over AA.

    I thank God everyday that my parents didn’t abort me cos I was considered abnormal. I’m only here bcos those two people came together.

  33. I just found out my partner is same AS genotype and we can’t just be apart, I can’t see myself in the middle of break up….. Am so in pains right now and i dont know wat to do *tears*

    • So sorry about your discovery Ayiwe. Whether to break up or not is not a decision you can make right now. Give yourself time and space to come to a decision. There are options but it can only be possible, if it is what you really want. *hugs* dearie.

  34. i had to drag myself to work today. Every single good guy i’ve ever met in my life turn out to be AS.. right now i’m in an awesome relationship, the guy did blood test and told me it turned out AS.. i’ve been devastated since sunday. This is the most difficult time of my life cos breaking up isn’t an option for me, i’m AC by the way.. previously it was so easy to breakup but in his own case i love him so much. We had planned 2 kids and to adopt one. he said we should give each other till weekend to lay our cards on the table so we can know the way forward. i’ve been praying, crying, lost my appetite and sleep. for the first time i stamped my feet on the ground and told my mum i’m going with my gut if he wants us together.. he’s such a great guy .. *sobs* I believe so much in miracles and he knows that as well. i’ve read on PGD,IVF and also buying donor eggs/sperm so each child has a part of us. Love doesn’t have to be this difficult..every road on lagos reminds me of him. its so painful

    • Oh dear mii. I feel your pain hun…I really do. I’m praying for wisdom and strength for you both. Thankfully, there are options available, but you both need to be 100% sure it’s what you want, as it takes a lot of commitment. Wishing you all the best hun :hugs:

  35. Thanks for your post, I think I’ve seen myself in this ugly situation and don’t know what to do. I am As genotype and have had several AA suitors whom I didn’t fancy at all but the last guy I just met now is AS and we found ourselves amazing. He has all I need in a man and he finds me amazing as well. Funny enough am the third girl he’s meeting and we all are AS but he said he’s ready to end up with me if am ready. The truth is that I love him and want to proceed but I still need some advice and encouragement.

    • Jane dear, the truth of the matter is that it would be far less stressful for you both in the long run, if you were to be with AA-genotyped partners. That said, if you have both prayed about it, and are sure you want to be with each other, thankfully there are options now…even though they all require a lot of dedication and commitment. Good luck hun!

  36. @Nicole…. weekend came, and after he spoke extensively to Doctors.. he came to the conclusion that going our separate ways was the best as other available options were expensive. Oh my, i cried my eyes out… and i miss him as it is still fresh… i wake up midnight with a sudden fear. Well I guess i have to move on without him and pray God sends a better person with AA genotype. its so sad cos i would be 29 in 2 weeks. God knows best sha. *wails* but i’m still praying for God to change my genotype

  37. I can’t believe the level of ignorance displayed by both the article writer and some of the commenters. Do your research well about other options before you create a poll.
    This is 2016 and there is NOW a solution for AS-AS couple that doesn’t involve abortion or surrogate etc. It is only a bit costly.
    The Name of that solution is PGD (preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis). You can google it and read about it.
    I don’t live in Nigeria but I heard this procedure is now available in Nigeria.

    My advice is, if the couple are rich or can save up some money in few months to years to afford this procedure, then go ahead.
    Enough of all these, AS-AS can’t marry thing. They can NOW marry but only for the rich or middle-class. In few decades to come, I believe the cost of the procedure will reduce due to competition.
    I am AS and I can marry an AS guy who is madly in love with me and willing to go through PGD. Money is not an issue.

    Please our people let’s get ourselves enlightened and current with technological advancement in medicine.

    If you are in love and going through this dilemma and want to know more about PGD, message me or something.

  38. Its better to break up on knowing that u’re both AS AS. B4 its too late. Cos you can’t handle the crisis when it comes, i was almost a victim but God helpd me to break up and also to handle the break up too cos it wasn’t funny @all… If you want to get married anyway and pray later for a miracle, then u’re mocking God and u know,,, God cannot be mocked cos u know the risk b4 getting in2 it. Most cases where miracle has happend that i know is among couples who were ignorant of the risk b4 getting married, not when they already know the risk and paid deaf ears.
    NOTE : If you foolishly get married as two AS AS so that u will consider abortion after discovering the baby is SS, until u get an AA Or AS u’re simply a MURDERER. and if you giv birth to a sickler, u’re still a MURDERER cos they will still suffer and die. God will demand the blood of these innocent ones from ur hands on the last day. Its better not to try it at all… When it comes to genotype AS AS Hmmmm. My people, FORGET LOVE and painfuly break up 4ur own good. Pls lets be wise.

  39. @mii… Am so sorry abt that dear, but I Goodness CRIED more than that. Infact i had carryoverss… Bcos i was in school and i culdnt concentrate any longer, i fought my way out of those carryovers by God’s grace bcos it wasn’t funny @all… I even vowed never to get married again cos i tot i would never see anoda guy as nice as him, i was looking like a mad person in appearance… But today am married to sum1 even more nice… Dnt worry dear, its Okay 4u to be psychologically scattered now which would be temporary, and Enjoy a long lasting happiness later… Than 4u to Enjoy the relationship Or married now, and suffer a Long lasting sorrow Or even a divorce later… I understand every bit of what u’re feeling right now,,,, but i tell you, U’ve taken the best decision.

    • Thank you Goodness… your words meant a lot… i still have troubles sleeping and lost appetite, but i believe i would keep getting better each day. its only when i’m alone i get to think of him.. the mad person look i get.. cos my mum had to drag me to a salon 2 days back.. i just stare into space but going to work makes t a bit more bearable. i even went as far as retaking the genotype test again just to be sure i wasn’t mistaken but the AC stared back at me right in the face. God knows best

  40. Your Comment…I’m in dsame situation now, my relationship is 8yrs,we found out wen d relationship was 3yrs n ever since letting go didn’t work out,we really tried to end d relationship but came bk wen d we couldn’t bear d pain anymore,afterwards my relationship grew even stronger. I really understand dos who advise breakup n moving on with ur lives,but my people,it’s not easy,it depends on d relationship we’ve built.No perfect relationship, but my relationship is great,we are blessed, we are rare, building something sooo strong n beautiful isn’t easy…breaking up for us isn’t an option,we’ve searched and we are aware of PGD n IVF,xcept dat my fiance is worried abt problems dat may arise..pls,do we hv anybody in d house who has gone dis process successfully?whr was it done n how much is it?pls i need ur reply as soon as possible..my relationship is worth saving. Tnx alot

    • Wow!!! I’m floored by your passion for your relationship Kulfino. Yes, there are indeed people who have gone through PGD and IVF and have healthy babies and some are currently pregnant.

      Clinics that offer the services in Nigeria include MART at Ikeja and it could be up to 3million but with the crazy exchange rates nowadays, it will definitely higher.

      Godspeed to you Kulfino and your man.

  41. Your Comment…tnk u very much oluwakemi..hmmm,and here was thinkin its around 1.2m or there about,God help us,how about checking d genotype in early stage of pregnancy? how much is that?

    • Kulfino, you can do an aminocentesis which should cost between 250 and 300k, again due to the exchange rate. With this, you can determine the genotype but that would be between 10 and 12th week.

  42. As and As are olready involved in a marrg pls hw can they prevent havin SS apart frm abortion. Is there any option nt really abortion.?

  43. Your Comment…i can’t tell it all but I know this can only be God we both tested As but so determined and never want to let go 5 years back I conceive and gave birth to a baby boy I want expecting to see the signs of the disease in him but as he grow up he becomes more healthy and strong a year plus I didn’t have the courage to do blood test for him cos I was scared I came across your post yesterday and I decided it’s a most for me that I do the test for him soon. my hubby tried to talk it out with me severally so we can do the test for him but I do tell him I don’t want to hear it as God could have it and proof himself God today my sons is tested As and O positive I can’t but hide my joy in the hospital as I was crying He’s four years now I hope to have one more child later in life with the help of the new technology tks.#joyful heart

    • This just goes to show that GOD’s ways aren’t our ways! HE is a miracle working God, and I bless Him for you! Very happy for you hun. Good luck with baby #2 hun! I pray you also have cause to rejoice and testify :hug:

  44. hi! I’m AS and my boyfriend is AC….. Just found out yesterday! Been crying since yesterday! Don’t know what to do cos he’s EVERYTHING! ‘God fearing’ and LOVES ME! *sigh* we’re going to talk about things today tho….. Don’t know what he’s going to say…… Although we’re still young so marriage isn’t coming anytime soon…….. Reading ALL the comments has made me feel better a little bit tho…….. I don’t know what’s going to happen but I’m hoping for the best! Hopefully the PGD thingy would be cheaper when we’re ready (if he wants to continue with us)

    • Loads of hugs for you Ann. Really sorry to hear this and praying that indeed PGD would be affordable for you, when you are ready, provided you’re still together.
      Meanwhile, since you are so young, it might not be a bad idea, (yes, I know, heart wrenching option right now, but a lifesaving one in the future.) if you cast your sights farther afield, hmm?

  45. thankz alot kemi and Nichole you guys are God sent. u could imagine I was nursing this fear for good four years and when I come across this post I let go of my fear and determine to go for the test in just one day now full of life no more worries love u guys kisses#grtful heart

  46. yes I read all.
    thanks to those who commented and who did not. I believe God has a solution to all problems that is why he is God.
    if God can put a child in the womb of a woman without consumption sickel cell anemia is a tip of an iceberg to him so get over the issue of As and Ss. there is nothing God can’t do, he does all things.
    As the will say “it is better to accept warning and heed to counsel in the morning than to beaten in the evening “.
    those who had Ss in their mist due to ignorance or over zealousness and intoxication of love may God heal your wounds. our fathers in those days what us sickel cell in their time. please lets run from satan always heed to advice. for those who had this problem try as much as you can to lay hold on colloidal silver minerals it will help to kill the disease of sickel cell anemia disease in the blood but put much hope in seeking God’s face.
    thanks.

      • Hello Kishor, while there are claims that colloidal silver can cure sickle cell, there is no scientific study to back up that claim yet and if there is, it is not large enough for the experts to agree, it’s worth using. So, essentially, it’s just a supplement. Definitely not a cure for any condition, especially sickle cell.

  47. My grandma was SS and grandpa AS they had 9 children with only 1 SS,grandma still lived till age 70 before passing on.I believe the grace of God is also a factor,there are AS and AA that malaria kills even before age 35

  48. My own story is a little different, considering the fact that I tested my genotype about two decades ago. I was just 10 years old then and the result came back as AA. fast forward 18 years later (two years ago), I was engaged to be married to an awesome guy. I knew from day one that he’s AS but it wasn’t a problem because I was AA according to the result two decades ago in Nigeria. My brother and some big uncles insisted I redo the test to be sure because it’s been so long ago I did it but it did not make any sense to me. The wedding was scheduled for last year May, bear in mind the planning was already in full gear at this point. I already contacted some vendors, made different down payments, was in the process of choosing my bridesmaids’ dresses when I decided to get it done once and for all, so my egbons could finally stop asking about it. I traveled for an event when I got an email from the lab that my result was out, I logged in online to check it and to my shock, it showed AS. It felt like a dream, had to pull one of my sisters out to show her and she was just dunbfounded. My fiancee (at that time) came down for the event the same day and I told him but he would not even believe it. Fast forward a week later, we were both back in our respective places and decided to take the tests again, but this time at different labs. Lo and behold, it was still AS. I cried (knowing how strong of a person I’ve always been) and was just speechless. He told me that he has faith it will change, I am a child of God but told him in all honestly that my faith is not that strong and I believe God has also given us the wisdom to make certain life decisions. I called off the wedding a month later, it was the most devastating period in my life. So many people were still asking about the wedding so I basically shut everything/everybody out, took about 4 months before I could even get a new phone number because the previous one was disconnected. It’s been two years now and there are times when I remember what could have been but still growing stronger everyday. I believe God has a plan for my life and that plan has a good man in it #smiles. We are all different and like Nicole rightly said, anyone whose faith can take it; please go ahead. If you know it’s going to be a gamble, don’t bother acting on your own selfishness and bringing a child into this world to suffer. God has plans for everybody, no matter how painful it is . Selah

    • Indeed Selah! Thanks for sharing Kemi. As the bible said, Wisdom is profitable to direct, if you are good to go, fine, if you have doubts, better to stay off, rather than stretch non existent faith. I believe in God’s plan for your life and I know it will manifest. *Hugs* Kemi

  49. Yes it is a painful experience you had. Thank you for considering the innocent children that will come to the world and suffer. God will bring another man to you as you desire In Jesus Name Amen.

  50. Pls I and my boyfriend are both AS,we were on the verge of breakup n I discovered that am pregnant. We have decided to keep the baby and do the test for our unborn baby am just scared to death right now

    • Chioma, we can always hope for a good outcome from the test. Until then, try to keep calm. Fear and overthinking it does nothing for your blood pressure.Anyways, is the baby, the only thing keeping you together now?

  51. I dont know what to say.. But i feel a solution is here for me .
    I and my babe are AS…
    We have built our lives around eachother for over 4years
    This AS stuff cant keep us apart ….
    We will use that records and faith no matteer the Cost
    Thanks for This article

  52. i dont know what to say but i just went for test and they said its AS but i do know am AA cause of the constant malaria while my wife to be doesn’t now i dont know what to tell her but am ready to marry even duo we both have planned not have our kids in Nigeria but i know in my Faith am AA to many who of my type who love one another i believe you both need to talk over it money there is nothing God can not do i see where many say they should not marry God can not be mocked yes but sometimes we all need to know its your faith that carries it all if you dont love the person enough u can go your ways but if u do and have his blessing even the air would be a step for u to much lets give hope to some who believe in there faith out of this countries most dont know this matching of genotype i believe i will share my miracle here so u all will see best of luck to those who will follow my step

    • Hi Henry, I admire your faith and hope that you inform your wife-to-be of the result of your genotype test. Also that you get the test done again, this time, both of you and then come to an agreement of what to do concerning your relationship, given the reality of your genotype test.

  53. Its really not been easy, discovered i and my love are both as jus few mnths to marriage.lost my appetite i cant sleep.all i pray for is a miracle for both of us.breaking up is difficult.i bliv God for a miracle

  54. ..hmmm, I have known to be AS and I ask him his genotype but he said he is AA, not knowing that he has never done his genotype b4. And we have done our traditional marriage and I am pregnant. last week I had to take his blood sample to lab by myself, the result came out as AS. I cried bitterly, so I don’t even knw what to do and this is what I av been avoiding since

    • Aunty ti, this is quite disheartening but there’s still hope that the baby won’t be SS. However, you could try to find out before baby gets here, so you have sufficient time to prep yourself and your partner.
      Anyways, why do most men automatically think they are AA or is it just me, who have noticed this trend?

    • I am so, so sorry to read this, aunty ti! Let’s just trust God that the baby you are carrying doesn’t have the trait. Subsequently, we will hold on to God for future pregnancies. Is IVF an option for you?

  55. Your Comment…I just discovered dat my guys is AS likewise me,we both love each other,though I have told my mum n she said if dia is solution we should go ahead,but he’s scare to tell his mum now cos he doesn’t know what his mum might say,pls wot should I do?

    • Hi Ifeoluwa. It’s so disheartening that you are in this situation. True, there is a way around this genotype business, you could do PGS but is it something both you and your lover are willing to take on? Can you afford to pay for IVF+PGD, that doesn’t come with any guarantee by the way to have a child and perhaps another?

      With your lover being scared to tell his mother the latest discovery, you should consider this deeply, so you know you are making the right decision for now and your future.

  56. Truth is, sometimes you don’t really know how it feels like until you’ve been through it. I found out I was AS when I was 8. And I kept praying to God to help get a good match. Even with what we call rheumatism is not a thing to play with. I would be carried by mates back home from school and the midnight crisis were not easy. I wouldn’t want even my worst enemy to suffer like I did. We really have to be careful. God still reigns……

  57. I had the pleasure of examining a new patient today with a history of sickle disease. She told me her younger sister also had sickle cell disease. They are the only 2 daughters of their parents. Their parent’s genotypes must be either AS and AS or AS and SS. How unfortunate is it to know that their first 2 offsprings are both SS and SS?

  58. This is what I’m actually facing in my relationship of 7years now. He told me from the beginning that he’s AA and last year he told me he’s AS and I’m also AS. He asked me to let’s go our separate ways but I was so devastated that after some months he came begging that he wants me back which I foolishly accepted without discussing with anyone. He’s so relaxed now but I’m so very confused and dont know how to tell him to let’s end the relationship. I need advise on how to go about this please

    • Hi Bukola, was it that your boyfriend didn’t know his genotype seven years ago? Seven years is a long time, especially as you know that you really don’t want this relationship to end in a marriage, that may likely produce children with sickle cell. You need to sit down and talk with your boyfriend about the consequences of you both being AS. He can’t be relaxed, not after seven years.

    • Hello Bukola, this is another Kemi 🙂 . I also shared my story on this platform few months ago, not sure if you came across it.

      There is nothing more devastating than a troubled marriage, mind you; I’m not predicting that if you go ahead and marry this person, you will have a sickle cell child(ren). But, if you’re not at peace with your decision now, it might not get better. I was already planning our wedding when I found out, after paying for different vendors and meeting with bridesmaids and groomsmen. I just could not go ahead with it, despite the powerful heartache. Here is my advice, if you can’t imagine dealing with this in the future, please count your losses now and move on. But if you have the means (financial), there are different methods doctors are using now, especially when it comes to IVF which has limited the chance of having sickle cell child(ren). The Lord will guide your steps.

  59. This is really scary…I have known from childhood to be AS,it was like an anthem played to us by my mother…Met this God sent wonderful lady,the first question i asked her was her genotype and she told me AA…due to d insistency of my parents for confirmation,this lady decide to do the test and behold,she is AS another test shows AC…
    I have been crying since I got to know.I put a call to a centre I saw online and they told me,IVF is N1,500,000 and PGD is $9,000 (they will first do d IVF before PGD).
    We have been fasting and praying hoping for the best….I am really devastated. This lady is like dream come through and I am well advanced in age.

    • 6 months I made this post, d lady told me to give her space. I asked for how long, she said as long as she discovers herself….
      I have been traumatised and devastated, thank God for my family… I know God will See Me through. ….I am 34

      • awww Arabanbi sending you truck load of hugs your way :hug:
        God knows best, she may have had or experienced bad cases of SS kids and can’t imagine considering it. Hang in there!!

        • Not really BOS, I just found out all of a sudden that she was getting lean, this got me scared and after so much persuasion she told it had to do with our genotype. I told her all d options available,she told me she was confused.
          I told my family and my parents asked her to come,she was told not to worry that they will take care of the finances of any of the options she is willing to consider. My sister also called her. It was in d evening she told me it is better we give ourselves space, that her mum is telling her to do her wish.
          I know I will get over it, with time.

          • Sending plenty of hugs your way Arabanbi, however, I think, it is better that she broke up with you now, than later. You want someone, who is truly committed to going on this journey with you to come along, not someone who might change her mind later. Honestly, genotype is a major consideration in relationships, especially those that haven’t yet led to marriage.

  60. Hi Nicole,

    I type to you in tears. my boyfriend and I both have the AS genotype, love like ours is rare. we found out a year into the relationship but we kept on pushing, my parents and his parents never wanted to hear of it. somewhere along the line he was able to convince his parents about PGD and they came around, sadly mine never did, the procedure they said is expensive. But somewhere along the line clarity set in for him; where were we going to get the money and the time to invest in this without the support of one our parents (mine and in-fact my whole family). Three days ago we broke up and I am completely lost and hopeless. I pray it becomes really affordable so people out there wont have to go through what i am going through.

    • Oh Eniola. I’m so sorry to read about the pain you’re going through. I truly understand, as I was once there. But my dear, you need to be strong. You need to trust that it might be for the best. Today, I’m grateful for my own breakup as I’m not here having to fend for sick children. PGD only works when both parties are committed, because it’s a very expensive process. Not to talk of emotionally draining. Don’t worry hun. It’s hard now, but it gets better. I promise :hug:

  61. am so blessed reading all these been searching online for this am a twin and some years ago i checked my genotype and it was AS . i have loved a girl all my life but we never dated but have been been best of friends i know she is AS but she doesn’t know i am AS too. am about to tell her my marriage intentions with her but i decided to make a research about our condition and this site was an answer to it. i now know what to tell her if she agrees to the union. our families know about us but they don’t our genotypes . when she told me she was AS some years ago i was hearth broken inside but i never told her, was just hoping to get an answer before i tell her mine which i have now. if i had told her mine maybe we would have parted ways by now.

    • Hello Ogbonna, are you sure you’re ready to deal with the consequences of you two getting married and having babies, who may be SS?

      And I think it’s shady of you to have kept this information from her thus far. Please talk to her and see how it goes. And give her time to process the news and consequences of either choice, she makes.
      Godspeed twin.

  62. Am glad reading all this comments cos some experinced shared are scary why some are nt v lost two good relationships bcos of genotype issue had to do my blood test over nd over but gave up nd come to accept the AS genotype It was very hard for me but tnk God am moving on . Trusting God for the best.

    • Hello Sam @samy, it depends on the couple and their readiness to deal with the fall outs of their decisions, either to stay together and have kids or go their separate ways. In the case where they are already married, then they have to prayerfully deal with it.

  63. Pls and pls I need detailed info on this PGD stuff my boyfriend and are have the same genotype which is As,we have been up several nights looking for solutions or best options meanwhile breaking up or stoping our marriage plans is not an option. Thanks

  64. I know i may sound crazy..yes..it has noy been medically analysed..but a family friend told me about a herb which could work for AS AC couples..in nigeria its called POROPORO Okababa..you cook it and drink it(the lady) everyday..from the day she took in or found out that she’s preggy till the day she puts to birth…i really wish it has been medically tested…it would surely save us all the drama of heartbreaks…
    PS: The babies had in the family were AA…all through..

  65. Yes…it does…i intend doing my research too..on my self if possible..want to know at what period can a baby’s genotype be determined and how much does it cost…so i can keep my findings b4 and after the herb use..

    • You have guts oh Anonymous,using yourself as your own guinea pig. Anyways, you can find out baby’s sex between 18-20th week of pregnancy. Before you start though, talk to your doctor. Godspeed.

  66. Please does this PGD also apply to SS and AS couple, and how much is the cost implication, i wont mind having you reach out to me privately pls i need help.

    • Hello Theodora, PGD/PGS applies to SS and AS couples, because of their increased risk of giving birth to children with SS genotype. For the cost implications, you will be looking at between #1.5m and 3m per cycle. If you register as a member on our site, we can chat privately.

    • My guy and I did 3 test and 2 shows As and As but the last one shows his as As and mine AA and the church Wed us but after the wedding after 2 month we did the test and mine shows As and now is causing problem in our marriage cos we are thinking of seperation and is really devastating as we are not buoyant for any pgd

      • Hello Gloria, this is a heartbreaking scenario as you are already thinking of breaking up so soon after getting married. Please find other ways to resolve this issue, this is marriage, it is not a courtship. If you are not buoyant enough for PGD now, you can save up for it. But separation, I don’t know about that one.

    • Hello Jane. there are options, as evident in the article and in this comment section but are they for you and your man? That’s a decision that only you and your boyfriend can make.

  67. i have been in a relationship for 5 years and this guy is close to been perfect.. he really loves me. i knew right from time that i was AS. When he went for his first test it came out as AC and after 4 diff test d result is still AS. IVF is expensive for us then we chose CVS, the procedure/thought of CVS scares me. This guy has so much faith in us that sometimes i feel guilty that i am the one with the doubting spirit, i was dealing with this when i met a guy online , i asked for his Genotype he said he his AA and he said he did it 3 times at a point i was wondering if this is God testing my faith. we haven’t met because he his not close by but he said he will come around soon. i am so confused and i dn’t have anyone to talk to My mum will so not support me marrying some1 with AS she didn’t agree for my bro he had to marry someone else. My 5 years guy doesn’t give me any problem o he always try to understand me infact na me dey give am wahala. Am i supposed to leave my 5 years relationship for someone i barely know just because of Genotype?

    • Dear Toluwani, it’s a tough one. I know it might be hard to hear, but you might want to consider listening to the new guy. I promise you that the CVS option is not an easy one. Having to terminate a pregnancy is never the best. Just pray about it…but my advise would be to consider the new person.

  68. The AS saga is really getting into the way in many relationships. It is not compulsory you give birth to an SS child in the process. I have seen so many AS get married to each other without an SS child. Having the AS genotype now is like having HIV. If you have the money to go for a STEM CELL TRANSPLANT (Bone Marrow) which is new, you can change your genotype. The risk involved is about 8% and you will get this AS saga out of your way. God help us all.

  69. Thank you all for your comments.. I am thankful. I have always known am AS until late last year I discovered i am SC. My guy is AS.. We love each other so much, this is the best relationship I have ever had. Am 33 and he is 37… We love each other its so difficult to let go.. Am beliving God for a miracle.. Would do a genotype test again while am trusting God a Man with AA genotype

  70. I and my boyfriend are AS. We were so much in love until genotype set in. He had too me the relationship will end if after a retest it comes out as AS again. Which actually is. We have both broke up. But am still trusting God for a change in my genotype to AA. I love him so much cos he seem As my perfect match and I have had more than 3 genotype issues. Can’t go through that lane again. Anybody with posible solution should help out.

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