Pre-pregnancy, my husband and I would always do something active, like going for a mountain hike or walking around a new little town for Valentine’s Day. This year, I’m pregnant, and the bigger I get, the less active I feel comfortable being. No hiking a mountain this year, I’m afraid. I’ll stick to my neighborhood walks and treadmill time, thank you very much. And in addition to being active, I could always count on my two favorites — sushi and wine. Now, I can’t even do that. Turns out, there are things pregnant women want for Valentine’s Day that money can’t buy, especially since you’re not going to be sharing that bottle of wine (or eating that delicious, delicious sushi) this year.
A prenatal massage would be great gift, as well as a gift certificate for a mani-pedi, or even just some yoga pants or leggings, let’s be real. But I’m talking about Valentine’s Day miracles here, people. Things money can’t buy. I don’t know of a pregnant woman who wouldn’t enjoy some of her favorite chocolate or ice cream flavor on Valentine’s Day, but what about some intangible things, that if cupid were real, he’d deliver like Santa Claus on Christmas?
1. The Ability To *Really* Eat Whatever She Wants
I know many people believe you get free reign to eat whatever you want when you’re pregnant and the calories don’t matter, but that doesn’t mean you can eat everything. Oh my God I miss sushi so much. And soft cheese. And turkey sandwiches, oddly enough, since I didn’t really eat them before I got pregnant. You always want what you can’t have, am I right? My perfect Valentine’s date night would be sushi and red wine, “like the good old days.” My mouth is literally watering thinking about it.
2. The Ability To Drink *All The* Wine With No Consequences
I know a lot of doctors that say it’s OK to drink alcohol in moderation, or you can have 4 ounces a day, but generally, alcohol isn’t recommended. Besides, in my opinion, what’s the point as it doesn’t do anything and I feel like it’s a waste of good wine. 4 ounces? Not worth it. If I can drink wine, I want to drink wine, especially on Valentine’s Day. And in drinking said wine, it would probably help with another issue below.
3. Sex That’s Comfortable
Sure the orgasms are better than ever — #thankspregnancy. But man is it awkward trying to maneuver around into different positions that don’t feel like I’m either crushing my husband, or that he is crushing my belly — and other positions in general that make my stomach ache. It would be quite romantic and special if on Valentine’s Day of all days I was able to be as limber as I was pre-pregnancy. And also not be out of breath from just shifting on the bed.
4. Being Allowed To Sleep How She Wants
This obviously doesn’t apply to all women, but I am (was) a back and stomach sleeper. Because of course I was. This really sucks when you’re pregnant, since you’re supposed to sleep on your left side. I have never been more uncomfortable trying to sleep in my life. No pregnancy pillow, body pillow, or even couch cushions, help me get comfortable sleeping on my side at night. And every morning I wake up stiff and achy and my hips feel like they’re going to fall off.
5. Not Having A Cold Or Pregnancy Rhinitis
Cold and flu season are full force during the month of February, and this year, the flu is pretty scary — especially for pregnant women. As of writing this, I’ve had a cold for a week and a half now, and I’d just love to be able to breathe through my nose and not cough all night. I’m sure my baby is enjoying the bumpy ride, but my ribs and rest of my body are not and are so sore.
Fun fact from my doctor: Pregnant women’s nasal passages are prone to become swollen easier and faster, making your cold that much worse. Thanks pregnancy hormones.
6. For Random People To Not Touch Her Belly
For me, friends and family want to touch my belly? No problem. Random coworkers who I only associate with at work? No, thank you. I’d love it if you would at least ask me before rubbing my stomach like I’m Buddha — especially if you’re going to talk to my baby through my stomach. Chances are, I’ll say it’s OK (the touching part, not the talking part). Why are folks so weird?
7. To Be Able To See “Down There” To Shave (If She Wants To)
I know doctors don’t care, and my husband says he doesn’t either. But I like to try to keep things neat and tidy down there as it makes sex more enjoyable for me. For Valentine’s Day, I’d feel much sexier and confident if I could get in there and do some work without feeling like one small slip and I’d end my nether regions right then and there. To me, going in blind isn’t a good idea, and waxing is out of the question, since sometimes pregnancy hormones make things more painful than usual. Enjoy going sans shaving? Hell yeah, more power to you.
So until cupid is real or your partner can make miracles, enjoy your boxed chocolates (and hopefully a foot massage) from your partner this year. This time next Valentine’s Day, you’ll have a tiny human to shower with love. And especially if it’s your first baby, you’ll feel love in a way you’ve never felt before.