By the time, a woman has had her first child, she might most likely feel like a pro at the business of sex, especially as she was able to produce a human being from the sexual act. But the truth is, sex after childbirth does not evoke any feelings of being a pro at all! Instead, a woman can have feelings ranging from hesitance, insecurity, to even becoming fearful of the experience. The pro and eager participant of the baby dance has since gone on sabbatical.
Usually, your doctor would advise that you wait until after six weeks before resuming sexual relations, but still, after the post natal check up, most women would wish the doctor did not give them the go ahead, and if their husband was present at the time of being declared sexually fit, then you can imagine the expression on his face as the doctor delivers that joyous news.
From my own experience, it is not exactly a time that I would like to remember. The first time I gave birth, I had a tear, and it took a while before the wound healed. The waiting was an issue, as you can imagine, but I was not interested until all the stitches had loosened, and I could look at my lady bits in the mirror, without cringing at the war zone it had become.
By the second time we went through child birth, we were both wiser, and knew there was no need for any hurry, as we had had even more years of bedroom exercise to look forward to. So, you can say the novelty of sex has somewhat worn off. There was no urgency to resume activities.
So what does sex really feel like after your have had a baby? Find out below:
This is not to scare anyone but when you have had a tear, and have had to be stitched together, the first you have sex afterwards will be anything but smooth. When the doctor was stitching me up, after I had my first set of twins, all I was thinking about was the safety of babies. As I have mentioned before, they were preemies. I would not have had a tear, as the babies were very small. But the attending nurse had told me, she was going to cut me, because she did not want to stress the babies, so I was cut and they came through easily.
While I was being cut, honestly, I had no idea; the pain of the contractions overshadowed the pain of a razor in my nether regions. But I felt the tinge of the injection as the doctor administered it before he started with the stitches.
Feeling down there and looking in the mirror were my favourite bathroom past time, in the early days. For weeks afterwards, sex was not on my list of priorities at all! Besides, I just had babies, human beings had come out of that place, and I was not going to allow anything cross my thighs, headed in that direction. That would be asking too much of me right? Well, I was the only one, who was thinking like that, as my DH had no such thoughts, the first time around.
It’s a different experience
Sex after childbirth is really different from the pre-baby period or even pregnancy sex. First of all, you and hubby are probably learning new things about your body, sorry new mom body. You are wondering what to do to relieve the tightness down there, which would have been a good thing, if it had not made penetration and enjoyment a hassle.
On the one hand, there is an improved pair of boobs, but on the other, they are susceptible to leaking milk, at the slightest touch. What to do?
It has to be quick
There is no leisurely stroll in the park for the first time sex after childbirth. It has to be a quick one, because, the baby can wake up any moment. So you hear something along the lines of, “We have only a few minutes to get this business done.”And in truth, the babies will wake up, before you say Mushin. Consider it baby’s way of saying, “Mom, Dad, I don’t need a sibling yet o, so stop.”
Depleted self confidence
You know before baby came, we all had this banging body, which we all liked to flaunt and our partners also liked touching and feeling, but when the baby comes out of that body, most women become insecure about their jiggling bits, their drooping parts, the bulging areas, and all you just want to do is stay put in your jogging pants…except you don’t jog. When you eventually agree to sex, you want to do it under the cover of darkness. “Someone put off the light please!”
These are some of the ways in which sex after child birth is different, especially for me. But I’m going to leave you with a story a former colleague told me, about a woman, who was always ready for sex, days after child birth. It actually grossed me out, as I thought about all the messy mixture of blood and other body fluids. But she was comfortable with it.
He told me how she requested for sex, a few days after birthing their first child and her husband, (who was this colleague’s friend) had looked at her as though she had two heads. He had never heard of a woman wanting sex so soon after child birth.
He obliged, and it became standard practice. For this couple, the six week wait did not scratch it, they wanted to get their action on sooner than that.
In all, when I look back at it, sex after child birth felt much like sex the first time, filled with awkwardness.
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