Early in her 20s, Nengi* made some decisions that led her to having babies for two different men. It was not intentional, but when she realized that neither of the men was marriage material, she decided to tie her fallopian tubes, face her career and stay off men.
You might consider her option of tying her tubes extreme, when she could have just stayed off men. But it did not happen in that order. She fell pregnant with her first daughter when she was barely 20 years old, and decided to keep it, even though the man responsible showed little or no interest, but because of her faith, she decided against an abortion.
She had the baby, but broke up with the man. He did not seem bothered, and hardly had anything to do with the baby. When she got into a relationship with another guy a few years later, he turned out to be just like her last baby daddy. For some reason, she was attracting the same kind of men. In the end, she got pregnant for him too, and before she gave birth, he had started to show his true colours, amidst weak promises to marry her after she had the birth.
So, they waited, but, just as she had suspected, she ended up not marrying her second baby daddy, and that was when she swore off men., and took the drastic step to tie her fallopian tubes.
For close to ten years, she was committed to her kids and her career, until, quite unexpectedly, she met the man she eventually married, who accepted her children as though they were his. Knowing she was with the right person, she had reversal surgery done on her tubes, and the doctors told her it was successful. But six months down the line, she had not gotten pregnant, and that was the start of her worry.
Nengi and her husband went back to the doctor, and they checked her out, it was true, the reversal surgery had been successful; there was now a nice long stretch of tubes, which should work well. But they weren’t working.
Some months down the line, before the next doctor’s appointment, she got a positive pregnancy test result, when she suspected that she might be pregnant and indeed, she was. The double lines showed. But on doing the blood work to confirm the pregnancy, a week later, her hCG levels were not rising as would be expected of a pregnant woman. She had had a chemical pregnancy, and soon, Aunty Flo came.
She and her husband were devastated. How could it happen to them? But they looked at the bright side. They could at least get pregnant, which was a major pointer to ovulation.
However, that miscarriage made her doctors take a closer look at other factors, such as her age, that might be contributing to her infertility. Nengi was now in her mid 30s and had significant uterine scar tissue from the previous surgeries, which could have contributed to the chemical pregnancy.
They had another miscarriage after that first one, despite adhering to every advice of the doctor. Notwithstanding, they have not given up hope, as they are still expecting some sort of miracle to happen before they look in the direction of assisted reproduction, to see if it will favour them.
For Denise*, she waited for five years after her tubal ligation surgery before she got her baby. She and her husband had decided on two kids, and within the space of five years, they were done with child bearing. But after losing one of their children to a terminal disease, they were pushed back into trying for another child. That was a tough decision for them to make. They struggled with the feeling that the new baby would merely be a replacement baby for their lost child, and also had to deal with the fact that her tubes had been tied.
In the end, she had a reversal surgery but contrary to their expectation, no baby came immediately. It took two years for Denise to conceive at all after the reversal surgery, and then it ended in a miscarriage. Another miscarriage followed, before she was able to have another pregnancy a year later.
By the time, it was almost five years after the surgery and they had almost give up on having another baby. She got pregnant and the baby stuck. It was not going anyway. She was a fighter, and was born a healthy baby girl, with a healthy appetite an equally healthy set of lungs, if her piercing cry was anything to go by.
Fertility doctors admit that when a tubal ligation reversal surgery is done, the conception chances of a woman are not the as same as prior the original surgery.
And the factors that determine if natural conception would be viable include current conditions of the tubes, other pelvic conditions like endometriosis, scar tissue, female egg and egg quantity and quality. On the other hand, doctors also put forward, the option of IVF, as another route to getting baby on board.
Tubal ligation or not, we pray Nengi gets her baby soon…if for nothing, to compensate her for staying off men for so many years, choosing to wait for the man was worthy of her.
Baby dust to you all!
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