Three Simple Ways To Get Back Your Sexy After Birth



Some weeks back, a friend sent me a video of a daughter, who is a new mom, complaining to her mother about how her husband has become a professional nit-picker, because she asked him to wait for six months until she weans their baby, before they get intimate.

Thinking she was going to support her choice, this new mom was shocked when her mother told her she would have a chat with her husband, about how he could relieve stress until she was ready to have sex.

She told her about the many sexy ladies outside who would gladly help her out, until she was ready. I was shocked, but it was really hilarious and there is plenty of sense in there. It can be very hard for a man to go from having an almost daily sexual life to a non-existent one. While women get some emotional fulfilment from taking care of their babies, men don’t often enjoy that same privilege, hence the frustration.

Feeling sexy again, or in the mood for sex, after childbirth is tough, especially for a woman. It is almost as if someone stole all the joys, love, attention in your life and with a shotgun to your head, commands that you pour all of it on your newborn baby.

While that may be dramatic, I hope it paints the right picture of how everything and almost everyone pales in comparison to your baby(ies), so when your husband starts talking about sex, and they almost always do, you  are left wondering why he doesn’t feel the same way you do. But hey, he is wired differently from the way you are, hence, it’s important to take his feelings into consideration and get back into that sexy siren mindset you had before.

It’s hard but here are some simple ABC ways to go about it.

Plan a baby-free date night

Getting away from diapers will remind you both that you are people, lovers, not just parents.

I must add that this can come with a lot of backlash in this clime, and elsewhere, from people who might feel like you are ditching your parenting duties too early.

Take Chrissy Teigen, model and wife of musician, John Legend, for instance. She went on a date her husband 10 whole days after giving birth to her baby, and threw the Internet into a meltdown, with trolls mommy-shaming her, calling her all sorts of names.

Some wondered if she loved her daughter, others wondered how she dared sit down and eat at the bar, she visited with her husband, without being overcome with mom guilt. True to type though, she wasn’t bothered.

Teigen seems to be one mom who has things covered, when it comes to defending herself against her critics, but I would like to say this in her defence.

Every mom is ready to leave her baby at a different point. If ten days after birth was a night where Teigen felt she needed a break, and wanted to enjoy a few hours alone with her husband, who are we to judge?

She obviously trusted that Luna was in good hands. And that is her call to make. Not anyone else’s.

But if you don’t have a thick skin or can’t even be bothered with all the talks, stay indoors, get a grandma on duty, or even a nanny, and just go chill with your man. It’s a beautiful thing to reconnect.

Focus on foreplay

Do you still remember that? Sensual massages and oral sex are just as fun now as they were before baby showed up on the scene. In fact, you need more of it now.

Yep, you’ll want as much foreplay as you can get before you get down to the final act. You can start on it hours before you both are in even in the bedroom.

That just shifts you into the correct mood for the deed itself.

Honestly, with the potential of vaginal dryness showing up as a result of hormonal changes, which can lead to a decreased sex drive, not to mentioned a head full of worry, you will need a decent amount of foreplay to take your mind off things.

Schedule sex

The phrase “scheduled sex” evokes dread for most couples. Most people have the idea that sex is always supposed to be spontaneous, so making the decision to schedule sex feels like an admission that your sex life is officially dead.

However, scheduled sex can actually be more fun than you think, especially if you have just had a baby and are trying to get your mojo back.

Putting intimate time on the calendar can help to build anticipation for the deed; it definitely gives you something to look forward to.

Finally, don’t beat yourself up. For some women, it can take a little while for things to get back to normal. Thanks to sleep deprivation, hormones and the general business of life with a new baby, your sex life simply won’t be top of your agenda right now.

But don’t worry, you’ll get there. In time, you will be having mind-blowing sex again, so try not to worry too much if your sex life isn’t up to scratch right now. But don’t let it stay at that level!

Get your groove…okay sex…on.



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