The anger in his voice was so unexpected but it also caused his wife some mirth. Chioma, who is a first time mom had been at the clinic earlier in the day for ante natal and she underwent a scan, where the radiologist revealed the gender of the baby to her. They were having a boy.
She was happy with the news and shared it with her husband immediately, he stepped through the door. He stopped in his tracks and said, “Who send you? Did I tell you to tell me? Who told you I want to know our baby’s gender?”
He said and walked away and remained sullen until he sat at the table to eat his food. Chioma trying to make up for annoying him pulled some antics, but only food did the tricks. He later went on to talk about how he didn’t really care about what gender they got but small corner of his mind had been rooting for a little princess of his own.
Some days ago, I learnt how a new father-to-be had went on a shopping spree, buying close to 30 pairs of onesies in newborn size. While I give him credit for being so involved and even going as far as baby shopping, I couldn’t help but laugh at Mister and his cluelessness about what a baby would need.
No doubt, we love our men, warts and all but there are some things, they can’t help but not care about, especially, when their spouse is pregnant.
It must be noted that it is not as though, they don’t care, it’s just that in the scheme of things, certain things are not that important according to their rational minds.
Here is a list of those things, men don’t really care about. Knowing these things will help us all.
He doesn’t care about medical facts; he just wants to know if you and baby are fine:
I had a first-hand taste of that during my second pregnancy. The scans couldn’t determine the sex of the second twin and they kept writing, sex: undefined in my reports.
That destabilised me so much. I passed the worry baton to my husband, he took it until the next day, when I went for another scan. Again, they couldn’t determine the baby’s sex, because of the location, she was squashed into.
After that time, he just moved on as normal, I was the only one dreaming about sex assignment surgery.
There is a strong likelihood that you are going to be bombarding your partner with all kinds of medical facts about the pregnancy – both minor and life threatening.
But mama, at the end of the day, the only thing he wants to know is if you and the bump are ok. That is all that matters to him.
While he will be aware that you are stressed about all these medical reports and such, don’t get angry with him, if he doesn’t join in your worry party.
It’s not that he doesn’t care, but, unlike you, he doesn’t have baby brain – a pregnancy induced fog which leads women to become more forgetful, oversensitive and less capable of focusing on logical task.
How she looks during labour. Really? Who cares? Certainly not your man:
A dad with a one year old baby was reminiscing about the days leading up to the birth of his baby girl recently and when all was said and done, he didn’t even breathe the fact that his wife was mostly in semi-naked state for close to a week before she gave birth.
We need to get one thing straight right now. Your man is not going to care how you look when you are in labour or when you give birth. He doesn’t give a care that you don’t have eye liner. He doesn’t care if your hair is a mess.
You are having a baby, and real men don’t care about whether their partner looks good or not when she is bringing a new life into the world, a life which the both of you created.
Your man might even fall more in love with you when you are giving birth, because of the whole natural process and the strength, you will undoubtably display during that experience.
Let’s be honest, even you don’t care what you look like at that moment.
He won’t care about how you will change down there, once baby comes:
Hmmm!!! This is one fear, I can definitely relate with and I felt it keenly after the second twins were born. True, they were bigger, and, I had no tear the second time around but I must have done a ton of Kegel exercise, trying to counteract the elasticity that I was expecting.
Right on the heels of that worry was my worry that I wouldn’t look the same way down there again. It’s true, I feel and look different down there, very different but does my husband really care? Nah!!!
And it’s most likely the same with most men. They don’t really care how you change down there, especially, when they are part of the reason, the change happened…except of course, when you are saying no.
He doesn’t care how you want to have the baby:
A friend was sharing with me, how her husband kept pushing her to make up her mind about going the C-section route, because their baby was just all over the place, changing position almost on a daily basis.
She dragged her feet until her water broke, baby was breech, husband was at the other end of town and she had to sign her own consent form for the emergency C-section, she ended up having.
Some pregnant mamas may have what is called birth plans, which is basically, the information about what they want to happen during labour and afterwards. It’s something you can discuss with your doctor, but also with a partner and friends.
You will want to fine tune your plan but please don’t expect your man to be so vested as to spend hours on it.
All you need do is say, how you want to have the baby and expect his full support, which he will give.
However, you go about it, just remember that usually, pregnancy in a man’s world is a lot less complicated.
A whole lot less complicated, the better we recognise that, the better for all parties concerned.
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