The Negative Pregnancy Test

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For 30 days, there is a build up. It (usually) starts after a failed cycle. It’s day 1 of a new cycle, and you are armed with the fierce determination to do everything differently this cycle. You eat right, take your vitamins, watch out for your ovulation with a keener eye than an FBI agent, you have enough sex to get you covered and then you wait. Because you are so sure you have done everything right, you mark your calendar for the day your period is supposed to show up, making a mental note to stock up on pregnancy tests before that time. You go through the 2 week wait with so much confidence; experiencing all the symptoms you are supposed to. The comes test day. You grab your pregnancy test(s) and run to the loo. Your excitement and/or anxiety barely keeps you from weeing all over your hand as you struggle to position the test stick properly. Then you set the test down and wait. It’s the longest 3 minutes of your life. And then boom

The negative result hits you in the face like a hot slap. Whether in black and white, as with the digital tests, or that lonely line from the regular tests, the sting is just as painful. NOT PREGNANT.

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Sometimes, you accept your fate after that single test, shrug it off and go wait for your period to start. Other times, you wee on multiple sticks, so certain that the previous one was a dud. Of course you’re pregnant, you think. You feel pregnant, you look pregnant, so the tests must be wrong. It takes a while to accept the painful truth that, in fact, you aren’t. I don’t think there’s another reality check more painful than that one.

Unfortunately, for women trying to conceive, and more so for those who have been on the case for a while, we have had this awful awful experience. I have discussed the 2 week wait and its faux symptoms have in another article, but reference has to be made to how we go through the motions and have symptoms so strong that we are sure this cycle SURELY has to be the one.

Because I knew my 2 week wait symptoms were so deceptive, every cycle I would make sure I watched out for the symptoms I had the previous cycle which, obviously, did not lead to anything. Then I would experience a completely new symptom that would convince me that, since I didn’t have that symptom the previous cycle, it could only mean one thing; pregnancy. I was convinced each cycle was different from the previous one, but they mostly turned out the same. Negative, negative, negative!!!

The day I would take a pregnancy test, my ‘pregnancy’ symptoms would be so strong that I would barely be able to get out of bed. Often times, I would feel so ill and nauseous, that I would mostly be useless to myself that day. Then I would grab a pregnancy test, and run to the bathroom. And here’s the funny part. While waiting for the result after peeing on the stick, my symptoms would suddenly vanish. I would suddenly feel absolutely nothing but a huge sense of panic. And the second before the result would jump out at me, deep in my stomach I would already know.

And then I stopped taking the tests. I decided it would be better for me to just get my period;.or preferably not. I was wrong. This was just as heart breaking. The day or 2 leading up to my period, I would have so many damp panty moments, that would see me racing to the toilet to check. Then when I would see nothing, I would be so pleased because, after all, increased cervical mucus and period-like feelings were one of the most common pregnancy symptoms, right?! But even after 100 false alarms, the moment my real period would come, my heart would sink with the knowledge that it was for real this time. The sight of the first swipe, smear, or drops of red blood broke my heart and crashed my dreams so many cycles; .so many cycles.

So what to do after the negative pregnancy test, or period emergence? I will speak from my own personal experience. Give yourself the morning, afternoon, evening, or even the whole day to be disappointed to cry, vent, whatever works best for you. But this must never exceed the day. You mustn’t forget that are in a brand new cycle, there is really no time to waste. If you are trying naturally, start prepping yourself and your partner for your ovulation, and make sure you guys get enough sex in. If you are going the assisted route, now is the time to speak with your Doctor to decide on what is the best route for you. Whichever the case, by day 2, you have to be on a plan for that cycle.

The funny thing? My successful cycle, I didn’t have as strong “symptoms” as I’d previously had. When I walked into the toilet to take my test, it was almost with nonchalance. Even though I had digital tests, I couldn’t be bothered to waste them, so I used one of the regular ones at first. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw 2 lines, so much so that I immediately ran to fetch my digital ones. And sure enough; positive.

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It definitely was worth the wait, and immediately erased the pain from my earlier disappointments. If you are still walking that road, I join hands with you in prayer and wish you the breakthrough of a positive pregnancy test, that will lead to a happy and healthy pregnancy, which will heal all the heartbreak from the previous failed cycle.

 

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20 COMMENTS

  1. Hello Nicole,
    I am always inspired by your write ups in Bella Naijia and decided to join your blog.I got married in 2011 and am seriously seeking the fruit of womb.I was recently diagnosed with fibroids and was told to come for an operation but I got scared cos of the gist I hear about women giving up during the operation an so I opted for herbal medicine and trust me it worked for me becos I no longer have that painful and tight feelings before and during my periods.
    I have missed my period for 14 days now and I do not have any sign of being preggo and I am as fit as a fiddle,I had to do a preggo test and it came out negative.I dont know if I am preggo right now or not but I have been advice to do a blood work with my doctor to see if it turns out differently.I am so anxious and hoping it turns positive because I have been praying and hoping for a baby.I will be 40 yrs old this year and I have heard all stories about your eggs going bonkers from 35years.I do seriously pray it happens to me.Thanks while awaiting your reply!

  2. Hi DoubleAA. Thanks so much for joining! I’m glad to hear that the herbal medication you are taking is helping your fibroids. Do you know what size they were before, and what size they are now?

    Have you ever been checked for a hormonal imbalance? Fibroids usually are as a result of excessive estrogen, which often comes hand in hand with diminished progesterone, both of which can wreck havoc on your cycles, and ovulation i n particular. Has your doctor confirmed your ovulatory function? And your tubal function as well? If all these are in order, he could start you on clomid for a few cycles. That might be all you need to get the ball rolling.

    Could you take this quiz, just to see whether or not you might have any hints of PCOS? http://thefertilechickonline.com/the-pcos-test/

    Please, let me know what the result says.

  3. I just took your online test and it says I am Normal but could get a medical test.I have been goggling online about women who have no symptoms when they are pregnant and also of early menopause.The symptoms I see are the ones I get before my period arrives. I also read online that early menopause can occur before the age of 40 and this got me scared. I will definitely go for a total check up this weekend God willing.Thanks

  4. Wow. This article is just a carbon copy of what has been happening to me over the past 14 months that we have been trying to conceive. Each month I get my monthly flow my heart breaks all over again. I am hoping for the best to come. Baby dust to us all.

  5. I can so relate to the vanishing symptoms. The mind can play games sha. I pray this month comes with new blessings and answers to all our innermost desires. Amen

  6. The struggle is real…..this is me. I felt I was pregnant, took countless HPT and all came out negative. Eventually went for blood work yesterday (after waiting for a month to convince myself)and came face to face with my worst nightmares BFN.

  7. Wow! NICOLE you are in my head , I can so relate! I’m just grateful that at the end , through ivf, I finally had my baby girl and currently pregnant again. It was a crazy and depressing 9 years of waiting

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