If you have ever heard these statements directed at you, “What are you still waiting for?” “Better do what you want to do now and get it over with.” “You don’t know that it’s now that you are young is when childbearing is easier?” “Oh, you are close to forty abi, you can have one more baby for the road!” (which road?)
“Why don’t you just have one more that will stay with you, while others are in school, that baby will be keeping you company.”
Then you certainly know what I’m about to talk about. I have four kids (just in case, you don’t know already). By my own standard, that is one more than I would have liked, yet every day, while doing the school run, I get asked some of these questions. “When are you going to have another baby, the younger twins are old already.” “They need an Idowu oh” If I look a bit under the weather, I will hear inquiries like, “Hope it’s the third set of twins” Geez!!! Can I at least breathe?
The last ‘threat’ was if I don’t have an Idowu, I will grow a hunchback. The first time, this mom, who happens to be an Idowu said that to me, I was stunned and then laughed at the hunch back part. Really! If it were really true, then, if you see me with a hunch, know it’s because I didn’t birth an Idowu and that’s making some people angry.
That’s aside the hints my mom drops once in a while about having more babies, because in her books, I was still so young. “Not right now, but don’t say, you will never have another baby.” And when I become adamant, she goes “Om’odun melo nie gan naa” (how old are you sef?). That is me after four kids. Mom, I hear you oh!
Now, let’s talk about Tolu, an acquaintance of mine, who waited 8 years before having her last child, a girl, after two boys. Mehn! The henpecking was on another level. Everybody was literally butting into her matter, “What is she waiting for sef?” Her mom constantly said, “You better do what you want to do on time. You are growing old or you don’t know?” Hmm, what we will do without our mommas?
Even her In-laws were not left out of the questioning. Thank God for her husband, who constantly told them, he was the one, who wanted only two children and she was just doing as they agreed. You know after two boys, they were prompting them to try for a girl. His perfect answer was, “Are you going to be responsible for that daughter?” Of course that was not going to happen.
Anyways, something happened, in the seventh year, that they had stopped child bearing. Tolu got pregnant and didn’t even know it. Her contraceptive must have failed or something. She didn’t know until months into her pregnancy, as she was still bleeding. She fell ill, was hospitalised and a routine pregnancy test, showed she was pregnant.
Guess the last chance baby chanters got their way after all. From the moment, it was discovered; her prayer point was for the baby to be a girl. And that was exactly what she got nine months later. A baby girl, who became her daddy’s princess and lookalike, this baby is the exact replica of her daddy, both in colouring, features and such, it’s quite charming. The equation sort of balanced out, as the boys looked like their mom.
For another mom, Lucy, who just gave birth to her fourth boy, the last chance people won again. This mom for one had started having her kids after 30 years of age. She had several complications the first time and it was replicated throughout the other three pregnancies.
Pre eclampsia was a real threat to her, so for all her births, she went for elective c-section. As soon as labour hits, they set her up for surgery. By the time, she had her third child, four years ago, she was tired of the whole journey and her doctor was worried for her life.
Infact, the man suggested they tie her tubes, during her last c-section. That would have been a clean job, but she had refused, saying, she knew the risks of having another baby and was no longer interested in having more but will look at other contraceptive options, rather than such a definite action. More so, she already had three boys, what more could she be asking for.
However, a few years ago, her body language changed. Baby girls in sunshine yellow dresses started to appeal to her. They would be doing child dedication in her church and this madam would be rushing to carry baby girls.
Her posts and comments on social media all took the baby slant. Perhaps, because her youngest had outgrown diapers and no longer wakes up at night. I don’t really know, but I think, she forgot all the pain, she went through.
When the bump started to show, I was like “Are you for real, after three boys and all you went through to have them?” She truly forgot. But she remembered quickly, as she spent more time in the hospital than at home. Given the fact that she was now officially classified as an older mom, her doctor insisted on several tests and whatnots, which raised her already elevated blood pressure.
It was pretty obvious that this pregnancy took its toll on her. Thank God for make-up that she used to make herself, look less worn out.
When I heard, she had given birth, my first question was, “Hope it’s not a boy? Imagine my surprise and ironic joy at the fact that it was another boy. I felt like Baba God is up there, laughing and saying, “I pulled a fast one on you guys.”
When another friend and I went to see the baby and new mom, even before, we spoke about contraceptive, she was already talking about how she had settled that part for life. “I cannot come and die, because of children.”
Easy to say now that her family is complete, even without that princess in sunshine yellow dress, quite easy and I’m mighty chuffed for her.
Just hope, no one will be going near her to mention a last chance baby but then, I trust her to deal with that judiciously.
While I understand where all these last chance baby groupies are coming from, can we at least, drink water and keep cup? Or like Chrissy Teigen said, “Get out of my uterus!”
My womb, my business!
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