The best gift a man can give his children…is to love their mother. I’m pretty sure you have heard this phrase quite a number of times, and if you are like me, you probably never gave it much thought, except perhaps that it means an example of how a man loves his wife is what his sons will see, and it will determine how they would treat their future spouses, and help his daughters identify what to look out for in a potential partner.
It is really that simple, but this has far reaching circumstances for a family and even the society at large. Now, you are wondering if I’m simply not over reaching myself, but the truth is families make up the society and if something is fundamentally wrong in the family, the society essentially feels the overspill.
When I really think about it, there were a lot of men around when I was growing up, whom, even as young as I was back then, I knew were everything I didn’t want in a man. But somehow, a part of me hoped that as the years went by, their sons and daughters would see the bad examples of their fathers and choose to chart a different course.
In recent times, the stories I have been hearing are very far from ideal.
I was almost a teenager when a beautiful couple came into my life. They were newly married. As the years passed, their family grew with children, and so did the stories of infidelity. In the early stages, Mr E could still deny it but as the years went by, it just became so glaring. He couldn’t deny it and didn’t even bother to.
So, everyone knew he had some other women on the side. Yes, there was more than one woman. Through all these shameful acts, Mrs E stayed. She focused on her children and her work. She was even friends with some of the women whom her husband was sleeping with.
If you think she’s stupid, weak and too tolerant, you are not alone. I did too, and you know what? I still think so, because it would been a lot better if she had left the sorry man back then, because she was basically alone, raising her kids with him on the side lines, rather than dropping him like a hot potato, the way he deserved.
Eventually, life happened. They moved to their own house. Mrs E became a landlady but it wasn’t to last. Just days back, I found out that she had come back to her old neighbourhood, and when I wondered what she was doing there, it turned out her “husband” of over 20 years actually sold their house, without informing her, and moved to another location, also without her knowledge.
As I write this, Mrs E has gone back to squatting with her friends, some of whom slept with her “husband”. Her children have revolted; they are angry with her, with their dad, and are listening to no one.
Personally, I’m not sure exactly how I feel about Mrs E’s current state but I definitely know the kind of rage and anger I felt towards Mr E when I heard what he had done. I could also see the anguish in the eyes of her children. Long gone is the rambunctiousness of youth, all I could sense was a wariness, a preparedness for more evil to befall them.
For Mr E, the best gift he could have offered his children was to show them how to love and respect a woman, by his attitude to their mother.
While Mr E may have left it a bit too late, other men can use these two tips to give their children the best gift ever.
Love your wife:
For any man who wants to be a model father to his children, it is essential that he loves his wife, the mother of his children. It has been discovered that what a father does and says as a husband imparts deeply into the beliefs of his children.
When a man puts being a great husband first, the gift you give your sons is ever lasting.
You demonstrate what a great husband looks like so that your little boy can see how to treat a woman. If you have daughters, it is about showing them what to look for in their future partners. If you are not the role model of a great husband, you are missing an opportunity that you will never get back.
Give your children your time and attention:
It is very possible to be at home with your kids and not be present with them. Many a husbands are at home and their children don’t show them their homework, but as soon as their mom steps in the door, they are shoving books down her throat.
Daddy, sorry to break it to you, you are not spending your time with your kids attentively. You just can’t be spending your time together watching TV alone, or not sharing.
If you are not giving your children any of these things, then you need to watch your back. I have a strong feeling that Mr E is going to come back in the not too distant future, needing his children and the caring touch of his wife. But for now, he is on top of the whole world and living the life.
More fathers need to step up to the plate and make it happen for their families, instead of shirking their responsibilities. It’s not just for the sake of their children but for the sake of the society.
A man’s influence is a strong one, and the society needs it.
Stay in love!!!
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