Tayo’s Infertility Diary 21: Bored, Fat, Sad!

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May 29th, 2008

CD 10

It’s been almost a week since I last wrote in my diary. I just couldn’t bring myself to. No special reason, except just being fed up with this TTC journey of mine. People are getting pregnant, left, right and center, and I can’t even seem to manage it even once!

Anyway, it’s CD10, and I’m still getting a Low on my CBFM. Last cycle, I got my first High on this day, so I’m just hoping that the monitor has adjusted to my cycle, and is being a bit picky. I really need to ovulate on CD15, as I’m having blood work done on CD22/7DPO. Hmmm!

I also haven’t heard back from Cisco. Another big fat hmmmmph!

 

May 30th, 2008

CD11

Another Low…can you believe it?! I’m not going to panic, unless it is low again tomorrow. Why couldn’t it be like this last cycle?! This is probably because I’m getting my CD21 blood work done, and now it’s going to mess with me, and my hormone tests will be done at the wrong time!! Can’t I just catch a break?!

Anyway, rant over!

I didn’t go to work today, so I did a lot of housework and laundry. I’m trying not to think about work on Monday! I’m still waiting to hear from the Cisco job Interview, and have applied for 2 others, one of which closes today, and the other already closed, so fingers crossed!

I just wish I would ovulate already!!!

 

May 31st, 2008

CD12

I got a High today…finally!!! So ovulation will hopefully be on time this month, now that the monitor is detecting hormone changes.

But even the fact that I finally got a good CBFM reading wasn’t enough to pull me out of the emotional funk I found myself in. Unlike most Saturdays, when I would wake up all gong ho and cheerful, today I just felt so bla! Javier had to go to work , so it was just me, my couch, and the TV.

Until my Mom called, to harass me about plans for the wedding. Huh?! Whose wedding?!

“Didn’t you tell me that Javier’s brother is getting married next month?!” my Mom had demanded “By tomorrow, we will be in June oh! You haven’t even told me how you want us to do it!”

Ah! Egba mi! Does this woman think this is a Naija wedding? It’s a destination wedding in Italy, for crying out loud! I had been allowed to invite my Mom, because she and my Mother-in-law get on very well, but it wasn’t a case of calling colours, or buying souvenirs.

The souvenir part scandalized my Mom.

“Just buy them a gift, Mom. They have a wedding registry…use it!” I said, with much exasperation.

When I got off the phone with her, I realized that she truly has a point. The wedding is on the 21st, exactly 3 weeks away, and I have not heard of any concrete travel and/or lodging plans. I made a mental note to talk to Natalia, or their Mom, about it. Talking to Javier will only be a waste of my time.

Besides tonight, the only thing me and my toy boy need to be talking about, is sex, sex, and more sex!

 

June 2nd, 2008

I got another High reading today…

That was about the highpoint, as I had a nightmare weekend, and couldn’t bring myself to fill my diary. I just felt bored…and fat…and sad…and ended up taking everything out on Javier!

I’ve snapped out of it a bit now, and am trying to get some motivation to get off my ass, and sort myself out. I didn’t get the Peak today, so I’d better get it tomorrow as I desperately want to be in the 2ww, and I don’t want a late ovulation to affect my blood test! I’ve also got a Hen Night on Saturday, and I have nothing to wear…and I’m not even motivated to buy anything as I’m having a ‘fat’ month at the mo! Ho hum!

I was browsing through an online forum, and I found a thread with ladies using the CBFM, and the first two ladies there both got a BFP from using it, and BD’ing less than normal! The first lady got hers in the first month of trying it, and the second lady in the second month of trying it. I also looked on another site, and noticed that the majority of BFPs were gained with less sex – some just once or twice!!!! Anyway that was subconsciously my attitude this month, and it’s working. My lady parts get a day off to recover, and I am enjoying it more. But I’ll definitely jump on him though…just in case.

I also just finished the Ben Elton book Inconceivable... and it’s really good. I couldn’t put it down! That was perhaps the only good part of my weekend!

I just hope I hear from Cisco tomorrow, as I’m not sure how much longer I can endure this office of mine!

 

 

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For the TTC Newbies

BD = Have sex

BFP = Big Fat Positive (Pregnancy Test)

CBFM = Clear Blue Fertility Monitor

Catch up on Tayo’s Story here:

  1. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 1: The Beginning
  2. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 2: Little Drops…Big Drops 
  3. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 3: Time Keeper
  4. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 4: Don’t Faint…Don’t Look
  5. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 5: The Afterglow
  6. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 6: Irony
  7. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 7: Adulterer
  8. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 8: Catch 22
  9. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 9: Sister, Sister
  10. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 10: Goose Bumps 
  11. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 11: Gold Digger
  12. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 12: Peak
  13. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 13: Road Trip
  14. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 14: Emotional
  15. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 15: Awful Mess
  16. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 16: Pink Dresses
  17. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 17: My Love
  18. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 18: Summer
  19. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 19: Mindset
  20. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 20: High Street

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