Tayo’s Infertility Diary 62: Robbed

November 4th, 2008

CD23, 8DPO

I couldn’t get to sleep last night until almost 2am. I have so much on my mind:

  • I want my  :bfp: RIGHT NOW, and I’m getting impatient
  • I can’t stop thinking about work – not happy with 70% of it
  • We have got to sell the house
  • We have got to find a new house
  • I have to pack my bags, as I’m following Javier tomorrow, as he travels for work

And I have probably forgotten some other things as well.

As far as symptoms go, I still very tender boobs. Fingers crossed!

 

November 5th, 2008

CD24, 9DPO

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I’m on on knicker and boob watch. I need my boobs to stay sore and NO SPOTTING!!!

I just can’t stress it enough!

Right now, I’m in the hotel with Jav. It was so nice not having to drive all the way down here, like I’ve done the last few times.

I had to call Solape as soon as we got here, to apologise for being MIA. She sounded a bit off…not sure if it was just motherhood stress or she’s pissed at me. I had to explain why I have to follow Javier around, because me too I want a baby na! I didn’t tell her that I’m actually not ovulating now, but it was good to use it as an excuse. She has her baby…let me get my own.

But the real truth is that I’m not keen on seeing Ugo again. I haven’t replied any of his text messages, asking me for lunch. I don’t understand what his plan is! When we used to meet up before, it was for one thing and one thing only…Solape! Now that they are together, and a family for that matter, I wonder why he still wants to hang out with me. Abeg I no dey for that one oh!

Anyhoo…today’s symptoms. Boobs are still tender, CM is still creamy (not necessary lots of it but still creamy), I have a bit of indigestion but could be because I was up early and ate in airport, and I have slight tightness in abdomen, slightly to left of centre (told Javier it feels like AF may come early, just to prepare him for the possibility).

Oh God, please let me be pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m just so worried. I went swimming earlier today, but I couldn’t swim properly as I could feel my back aching and my abdomen is tender, and so i was panicking. Backache is an AF sign for me!

At least there has been no spotting, but I could be 8DPO if I ovulated on my normal day, and not a day earlier as I thought.

Oh God, I don’t know – I need patience!

I’ve got no panty liners or tests with me. I’m leaving it all up to fate.

 

November 6th, 2008

CD25, 10DPO

No peak on the monitor – now there’s a surprise!

Fingers crossed for today. I’m at the one day at a time stage now!

Oh, and my boobs are still sore.

 

November 7th, 2008

Well, I started spotting last night…

I wish it helped this way, but I actually feel robbed. My 2WW is short, so I don’t get to hope for long and I know it’s over days before AF arrives properly, and I don’t get to test as it’s always too early.

I’m obviously feeling very miserable, and it’s unlikely I’m going to enjoy the rest of this blasted trip. But I have to try…for Javier’s sake. I’m going for a meal tonight, with Javier and his best friend, who happens to live here in Newcastle. The fact that he had a gorgeous 3yr old boy, and by accident I might add, doesn’t help matters at all.

 

November 8th, 2008

Well…AF not quite here, but might as well be as spotting is quite bad. I think CD1 will be tomorrow.

I still want a BFP for Christmas more than anything. Only 1 shot left this year…

 

November 10th, 2008

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AF is definitely on her way. I guess the spotting decided to start nice and early this cycle. In any case, I feel like she is going to arrive any second,

Well, back to work tomorrow and I am not wanting to go, and seeing as how it is going to be CD1, and I am going to feel like crap! I also have to see Solape in the next few days, especially if I’m still interested in our friendship. There is only so much of a long rope she can possibly give me.

The new cycle needs to just start already!

 

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