Tayo’s Infertility Diary 56: Raging Demands

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October 2nd, 2008

3 DPO

Okay, two things! Number one, the monitor or stick of my CBFM did not work again today. I think the monitor read the stick too soon and the lines hadn’t yet appeared, and when they did it was probably another HIGH. Number two, I spoke to a doctor about my bladder infection, and when she found out I was trying for a baby, she said she didn’t want to get my hopes up but this is a pregnancy symptom, so it was up to me if I wanted anti-biotics, but they can be taken at this stage anyway.

Bless her! In my tired, painful haze, she actually gave me hope. Although I have had this since 1DPO, and it is caused from falling asleep after BD with a tissue stuck to my lady bits. Normally, even if it is an hour later, I would go the loo and clean up, so this doesn’t happen.

Anyways, I am so tired that I won’t be going swimming today. I also have a ton of housework and lessons for next week to prepare, as well as touch up to what I have done so far. Oh well, at least my 2WW might go quickly.

 

October 3rd, 2008

4 DPO

The anti-biotics are working, so I’m thankfully feeling better…but still hurts to pee. I noticed that I have lots of CM. I don’t know if that is because I’m out of sorts down there…

 

October 4th, 2008

5 DPO

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Nothing new to report, apart from yellow CM and dreams about everything, including really stretchy CM? And Javier refused sex this morning, saying I am in my waiting period and he didn’t want to dislodge anything! We have been through this lots of times now! So I told him if that is the case, if I am pregnant, he’s not getting any for 3 months!

I found out from another friend that my ex-best friend, Toks, is having identical twins. I am sad for her though, as she has apparently been poorly and has been in hospital twice. She isn’t due until December. The story of Toks and I is one for another day. It’s been almost 10 years since our estrangement. I did get a birthday card from her last year though, so who knows…we just might actually have a conversation soon.

 

October 6th, 2008

7 DPO

I don’t know, I am feeling VERY impatient this month…and sort of angry like we MUST be this month. It’s been 9months! How can I not be?!!! So I’ll just see how long I can hold off testing. I haven’t got any cheap tests so i might have to wait to see if I spot about 10DPO. Tomorrow, I have to be up early for work and so will be too tired to test. Same thing on Wednesday, so it might end up being Thursday, which will be 10DPO anyway.

 

October 8th, 2008

9 DPO

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I hate AF, and I hate students…or whatever I’m supposed to call these entitled bank employees!

My CM has the tinge it normally gets just before the spotting starts, so needless to say I’m not very happy. Also, my cervical position feels open. As if that’s not enough, one of the classes I take have reported me to my Manager, to talk through some issues, specifically the days I have taken off. The cheek of it! I spend hours preparing lessons and even though they are the ones not taking this training program seriously, they have the nerve to have issues with ME!

I am so pissed! My PMS is raging, I’m irritated and have been stressing over everything all day long. I haven’t had sore boobs this month, I was beginning to think it could be a sign. But alas, no! I’m sooooo pissed off. Javier isn’t back until late, and I can’t bear having to disappoint him another month!

All I want is a baby!

I might go to my other doctor’s for a chat, as I am on the 9th cycle since my miscarriage, I am 32 now! I demand he gets me pregnant!!!

 

October 9th, 2008

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I made Javier have sex last night as there’s nothing to ‘dislodge’, and i needed something to help me relax. Thankfully, he didn’t need to be forced!

So today, I will do a bit of housework and prepare for a lesson observation next week. In the meantime, work can have their little discussion about me! I don’t even care! Yes, it’s my dream job. But oh, whatever!

So I am looking forward! I could conceive on the date my angel would have been due (23rd Oct)…which would be the best compensation ever!

Hoping…praying!

 

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Photo Credits

  1. http://img07.deviantart.net
  2. http://www.soulsatisfactionforwomen.com

Catch up on Tayo’s Story here:

  1. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 1: The Beginning
  2. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 2: Little Drops…Big Drops 
  3. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 3: Time Keeper
  4. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 4: Don’t Faint…Don’t Look
  5. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 5: The Afterglow
  6. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 6: Irony
  7. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 7: Adulterer
  8. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 8: Catch 22
  9. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 9: Sister, Sister
  10. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 10: Goose Bumps 
  11. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 11: Gold Digger
  12. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 12: Peak
  13. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 13: Road Trip
  14. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 14: Emotional
  15. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 15: Awful Mess
  16. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 16: Pink Dresses
  17. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 17: My Love
  18. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 18: Summer
  19. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 19: Mindset
  20. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 20: High Street
  21. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 21: Bored, Fat, Sad
  22. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 22: Lessons Learnt
  23. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 23: The Dress versus the Tee-Shirt
  24. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 24: The Hen Night
  25. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 25: Minding my business
  26. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 26: Notice!
  27. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 27: Spotting & Shopping
  28. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 28: Messing About
  29. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 29: Wedding in Tuscany
  30. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 30: Lucky Girl
  31. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 31: The Rescue Plan
  32. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 32: Active Imagination
  33. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 33: Covered Bases
  34. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 34: Homecoming
  35. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 35: House Arrest
  36. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 36: Perfect Stranger
  37. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 37: Evil Genius
  38. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 38: Busy People
  39. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 39: Voltron Moves
  40. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 40: Swinging like a Pendulum 
  41. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 41: Back home
  42. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 42: Kinky Boo
  43. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 43: Divorce is not my portion!
  44. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 44: Get the behind me!
  45. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 45: Different Strokes
  46. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 46: How Far?
  47. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 47: The Pressure
  48. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 48: Yankee Virgin
  49. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 49: Sexy Mama
  50. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 50: The Big 40
  51. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 51: Wait & See
  52. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 52: Life is too short
  53. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 53: Work something out
  54. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 54: Hello Godmother
  55. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 55: A Beautiful Thing

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