Tayo’s Infertility Diary 64: Unfair

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November 17th, 2008

CD7, LOW

After yesterday’s traumatic visit with Solape, getting home was like heaven! We spoke briefly, to let her know I’d arrived safely, but for now, I will leave any bad news to Ugo to break to her. I just hope he does the right thing!

Anyways, it begins again! In a week or so, I will be ovulating again and going for my Christmas BFP. THat is providing I am ovulating. I was going to temp and my thermometer is sitting under my pillow, but I keep forgetting. I’m also feeling a bit poorly so it might not be accurate. Oh well, let’s hope for EWCM and a PEAK!

 

November 19th, 2008

CD9, LOW

I’m so tired with this cough and all that has been going on in work – it’s all so draining. I have now spoken with nearly all the students and we are all on much better terms and there were even so many of them supporting me, but felt intimidated by others and felt they had to go along with their complaints. The only thing to be sorted is confronting my colleague on Friday, with a Manager present. She is aware something is going on and had started speaking to me again, but I’ve kept her at arm’s length. The rest of the staff are behind me, as she has done this before…and more than once apparently!

Anyway, less than a week to ovulation and my Christmas BFP!

 

November 20th, 2008

10DPO, HIGH

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I am a bit happier with my monitor this month, as it gave me two lows and today a high, which is a bit more accurate.

I still feel terrible with this weird cold/cough I’ve got – if I’m going to be ill, I wish it would just manifest itself fully so I can get over it. This in-between stage is driving me mad!!!

And I can’t stop thinking about work – even when Javier was trying to relax me last night.

Oh well, if I can bring myself to it, I have quite a lot of housework and lessons to prepare.

 

November 21st, 2008 (AM)

Well, personnel are involved now in the situation at work, and so I have to see them first, before a meeting will be set up next week, so it is still ongoing. What is bad is that she is being nice to me now, which I don’t like, as she is obviously trying to worm her way out of this situation!

Fat chance of that happening!

 

November 21st, 2008 (PM)

My bad luck is just growing!

Javier is on the phone as I type; his other brother and his wife are expecting their 2nd child…and I just want to die, I should be happy for them, but can’t when it is what I want so bad.

Life is so unfair!

 

November 23rd, 2008

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OH God, i’ve got myself in a right mess now. Since the phone call with Javier’s brother, I have been in a massive sulk, felling very ‘woe is me’. I haven’t been taking it out on Javier, but he is here which kind of makes it worse! If i was by myself, I would have sulked and got out of it. He tried to help but actually ended up making the situation worse with insensitive words, showing he really does not understand how I feel. It’s not his fault and I need to clear the air but I can’t seem to do it.

Now I checked my CP (cervical position) last night (I don’t know why, as I hardly ever do), but it was really squishy and open and the beginnings of EWCM. I think ovulation is imminent. I also have slight pains (ovulation pains?), and also a smear tomorrow morning so can’t BD anyway, but have to after that we have to, as he goes away for a week, and we will have missed it if we don’t! With all that’s going on at work, I might not be able to tag along this time.

I’m just afraid that if we BD, he’ll think that everything is okay, and for me it is not!

So okay, maybe I am taking it out on him a bit. I’ll try and snap out of it.

Is it just me, or are the days going by really slowly?!!!

 

Untitled

 

Catch up on Tayo’s Story here:

  1. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 1: The Beginning
  2. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 2: Little Drops…Big Drops 
  3. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 3: Time Keeper
  4. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 4: Don’t Faint…Don’t Look
  5. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 5: The Afterglow
  6. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 6: Irony
  7. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 7: Adulterer
  8. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 8: Catch 22
  9. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 9: Sister, Sister
  10. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 10: Goose Bumps 
  11. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 11: Gold Digger
  12. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 12: Peak
  13. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 13: Road Trip
  14. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 14: Emotional
  15. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 15: Awful Mess
  16. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 16: Pink Dresses
  17. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 17: My Love
  18. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 18: Summer
  19. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 19: Mindset
  20. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 20: High Street
  21. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 21: Bored, Fat, Sad
  22. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 22: Lessons Learnt
  23. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 23: The Dress versus the Tee-Shirt
  24. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 24: The Hen Night
  25. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 25: Minding my business
  26. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 26: Notice!
  27. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 27: Spotting & Shopping
  28. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 28: Messing About
  29. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 29: Wedding in Tuscany
  30. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 30: Lucky Girl
  31. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 31: The Rescue Plan
  32. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 32: Active Imagination
  33. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 33: Covered Bases
  34. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 34: Homecoming
  35. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 35: House Arrest
  36. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 36: Perfect Stranger
  37. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 37: Evil Genius
  38. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 38: Busy People
  39. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 39: Voltron Moves
  40. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 40: Swinging like a Pendulum 
  41. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 41: Back home
  42. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 42: Kinky Boo
  43. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 43: Divorce is not my portion!
  44. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 44: Get the behind me!
  45. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 45: Different Strokes
  46. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 46: How Far?
  47. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 47: The Pressure
  48. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 48: Yankee Virgin
  49. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 49: Sexy Mama
  50. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 50: The Big 40
  51. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 51: Wait & See
  52. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 52: Life is too short
  53. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 53: Work something out
  54. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 54: Hello Godmother
  55. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 55: A Beautiful Thing
  56. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 56: Raging Demands
  57. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 57: On the rebound
  58. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 58: Limbo
  59. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 59: Messed Up
  60. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 60: Penny Drop
  61. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 61: Robbed
  62. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 62: The other side of me
  63. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 63: Mama Drama

 

 

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