Tayo’s Infertility Diary 44: Get thee behind me!

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July 31st, 2008

CD 15, PEAK

It’s show time this cycle!

Well, I have to find time to jump a very tired Javier at some point this morning, or tonight, and the next 2days as well, to complete our BD pattern around ovulation.

Although I thought I was going to ovulate earlier this month, I am very glad that it is my usual day, as i am quite regular now!

But I’m not happy with my EWCM though, as I haven’t had any!!!! I hope it turns up later.

 

August 1st, 2008

Hmm, get thee behind me satan!!!

I woke up to a text from Ugo this morning, which read I think I owe you an explanation for what happened in Nigeria. Can we do lunch today?

As my friend, Ijeoma, would say…ekwensu!!!

What good would doing lunch with Ugo possibly do for either of us, except further complicate things. He owes me no explanation, and I sure as heck don’t want to be alone with him…for anything.

So, I texted back; Hey, I totally understand. I’m so glad you and Sols were able to work things out. Can’t do lunch, I’m afraid. Busy with the hubby! Kiss Sols for me!

I pressed the ‘Send’ button with so much force, I hoped it reflected what I was feeling deep inside.

Nonsense!

On a sadder note, we found out that Javier’s friend’s wife who died had a weak heart (which they apparently knew about), and developed an infection for which the doctor gave her antibiotics, but she didn’t take them, as she was worried they affected the baby. Sadly, it was that infection that caused both their deaths. We’re going to their funeral on Tuesday. I’m going to try not to think about it until then.

 

August 2nd, 2008

CD16, PEAK

Yay, we were able to get a quiet BD session in last night! But we must do it tonight and tomorrow, as we never do!

I had slight twinges last night, and my line was slightly lighter on my stick this morning, so it’s definitely happening!

I’ve had no EWCM though, so that’s worrying. I think my CM might be watery, as it was thinner than when I would normally class as creamy? I hope so, or what chances do Javier’s swimmers have?

 

August 3rd, 2008

CD17, HIGH

Yesterday, DF and I went to the cinema to see The Dark Knight, and it is as good as everyone is raving about…even if it is a a tad too long.

We had such a lovely time together as a couple, and he was asking me stuff like how I was feeling, and what my monitor says, and why did I cry when I got my BFP last time? The answer to his BFP question is that it was our first month of TTC, and I was overjoyed but Javier had been shocked, and his face had made me cry, as he wasn’t sure he was ready. Well, he is very ready now, and as there were cute babies practically everywhere we turned, we watched them…with hope.

We BD’d last night and it was late, and I told him it was his job that night, but that tomorrow night (tonight), I’d fish out my Ann Summers goodies, to spice things iup. However, I ended up enjoying myself a bit too much…lol!

I am quite sore now, but going to get one more session in tonight. I was going to get Pre-Seed this month, but the place I normally get it from has a broken website, and I just kept forgetting to look elsewhere! Next cycle maybe.

 

August 4th, 2008

The 2WW has officially begun, and I’m a bit emotional. For some reason, I just can’t be positive. I just can’t see me getting a BFP! I’m not just saying this. Every time I think about the end of the cycle, and testing (which I never seem to get to, because of spotting), I just think stop kidding yourself. Why? Why don’t I believe that we can do it again? I don’t want to be negative, but something is stopping me from believing I can do it?

I’m already planning on going back to the docs on CD2 and getting my bloods tested.

I’m not down but just don’t know why I can’t see it happening. I’m getting upset reading all the BFP announcements of some of my online friends, who I do not begrudge, and am genuinely happy for, but I just want it to be me too! Why does it happen so easily for some people like Solape, while the rest of us have to sweat for it?

Life’s not fair!

 

Untitled

 

BD = Baby Dance (have sex)

BFP = Big Fat Positive (Pregnancy Test)

CD = Cycle Day

CM = Cervical Mucus

EWCM = Egg White Cervical Mucus

 

atch up on Tayo’s Story here:

  1. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 1: The Beginning
  2. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 2: Little Drops…Big Drops 
  3. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 3: Time Keeper
  4. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 4: Don’t Faint…Don’t Look
  5. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 5: The Afterglow
  6. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 6: Irony
  7. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 7: Adulterer
  8. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 8: Catch 22
  9. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 9: Sister, Sister
  10. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 10: Goose Bumps 
  11. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 11: Gold Digger
  12. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 12: Peak
  13. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 13: Road Trip
  14. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 14: Emotional
  15. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 15: Awful Mess
  16. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 16: Pink Dresses
  17. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 17: My Love
  18. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 18: Summer
  19. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 19: Mindset
  20. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 20: High Street
  21. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 21: Bored, Fat, Sad
  22. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 22: Lessons Learnt
  23. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 23: The Dress versus the Tee-Shirt
  24. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 24: The Hen Night
  25. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 25: Minding my business
  26. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 26: Notice!
  27. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 27: Spotting & Shopping
  28. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 28: Messing About
  29. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 29: Wedding in Tuscany
  30. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 30: Lucky Girl
  31. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 31: The Rescue Plan
  32. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 32: Active Imagination
  33. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 33: Covered Bases
  34. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 34: Homecoming
  35. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 35: House Arrest
  36. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 36: Perfect Stranger
  37. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 37: Evil Genius
  38. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 38: Busy People
  39. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 39: Voltron Moves
  40. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 40: Swinging like a Pendulum 
  41. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 41: Back home
  42. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 42: Kinky Boo
  43. Tayo’s Infertility Diary 43: Divorce is not my portion!

 

2 COMMENTS

  1. Am a TTC woman for 2 yrs now.i share in all ur frustrations n more cos hubby isn’t around too.your diary has been a way to relate to other TTC stories. fingers crossed for u. 2WW is torture. Like dey say baby dust to u.

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