June 15th, 2008
CD 27/ 11 DPO
BFN. Which was expected, and I really shouldn’t have wasted a test, because before I went to bed I checked my CP, and noticed that the CM had a very slight off colour, which means that spotting is on the way!
Although my temperature was up a bit this morning, I went to bed really late, and Javier is back, so maybe this affected it? I feel terrible now that I’m up, my boobs are tender, and it is aching ‘down there’.
I’m okay, I guess…but I’d almost convinced myself that this was it, and that the slight ache was like the stretching pains I had last time, before the miscarriage.
I could have waited, but just couldn’t resist, especially as it’s Father’s Day today.
But alas! It wasn’t meant to be…
To make me feel better, Javier and I went for a walk around a lake, and we even took out a rowing boat. It was quite lovely…and romantic! The perfect way to help me forget my blues…
We had a lovely day, and on our way home, we stopped off at a car dealership, and may be getting a new ‘family’ car this week, as ours has a TINY boot, and there’s no way we could fit a stroller in there. My darling Javier is so confident a pregnancy will soon happen for us, and his positivity soon started rubbing off on me…
I am almost sure that the cramps I’ve been having are like the ones I had when I was pregnant last time. Last time, I tested one day late, on a couple of tests, and got a line, so maybe it was too early today. I also used an Internet cheapie, so I might use my Clear Blue one in a couple of days…but only if I have no spotting, and my temps stay up. I have also had no spotting!!! I have been on a panic-driven knicker watch all day, and there has been nothing!
I write all this, and I know it could be a different story tomorrow. But for today, I’m allowing myself to believe. Even Zita West says look at the positive and Visualise. Javier also says I should be positive. So, I have been going into our current ironing room, which would become the nursery, to visualise having a baby there. I have a FEW baby things (I have added a few things to the items I splurged on, a few weeks ago), and think I will start setting up the room soon.
So fingers crossed!
June 16th, 2008
CD 28/ 12 DPO
I got another BFN this morning…but on another Internet cheapie. It was my last one, so tomorrow I will get a Clear Blue test…as long as there’s no spotting, AF, or a temperature dip!
I’m fine about it, just being impatient.
Yesterday, I woke up tired, as we had gone to bed late and didn’t sleep great. Javier said I was making him hot. How I was, only God knows!!! Last night, I went to bed early and couldn’t get to sleep until late. With this BFN drama, my Mom arriving this week, and our trip to Italy on Friday morning, I have quite a lot on my mind!
I’m not losing faith, but the only white knickers in my drawer now are my best ones, so I’m wearing my a black one, as we continue ‘knicker watch’ today…lol!
What else can i say? I have a feeling I’m pregnant, but seeing that bloody snow white test stick is very annoying.
June 17th, 2008
CD 29 / 13DPO
Well, it’s all over now.
Yesterday evening, as soon as we got back from buying our family car, and had I rushed to the toilet. When I wiped, there was red. I knew that AF was surely on it’s way. Gutted!
As I write this, it still hasn’t shown up yet…I’m just spotting.
I’m truly fed up of all this!
June 18th, 2008
CD30 / 14 DPO
Well bloody AF is messing me about!
I have had this horrible spotting for 3days now, and still waiting for full flow. So pretty much the same as every other cycle, but longer this one!
I guess the Vitamin B6 has lengthened my cycle, but I still have spotting, so I’m not even sure how it’s working sef!
I’m not going to temp next cycle, as it makes me obsessive and my heart breaks when the temperature plummets. I’m just going to use my CBFM.
I’m leaving the office early, so I can pick my Mom from the airport. Javier will meet us there, to drive us back home. My Mom can find her way around London, blindfolded, but still insists on being picked up from the airport every time she’s in town!
The diva! Well, I guess I had to have gotten it from somewhere!
Catch up on Tayo’s Story here:
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 1: The Beginning
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 2: Little Drops…Big Drops
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 3: Time Keeper
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 4: Don’t Faint…Don’t Look
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 5: The Afterglow
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 6: Irony
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 7: Adulterer
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 8: Catch 22
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 9: Sister, Sister
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 10: Goose Bumps
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 11: Gold Digger
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 12: Peak
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 13: Road Trip
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 14: Emotional
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 15: Awful Mess
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 16: Pink Dresses
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 17: My Love
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 18: Summer
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 19: Mindset
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 20: High Street
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 21: Bored, Fat, Sad
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 22: Lessons Learnt
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 23: The Dress versus the Tee-Shirt
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 24: The Hen Night
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 25: Minding my business
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 26: Notice!
- Tayo’s Infertility Diary 27: Spotting & Shopping