Surrogacy and the Nigerian!


Recently, I saw a post by a lady on a popular blog, advertising her services as a surrogate mother. She said she was willing to help couples who are unable to have babies do so.

It looked like a scary proposition, until I recalled that I have thought about being one for at least two couples that I know. When, I look at these couples around me, who are obviously dealing with infertility, given the times they just disappear, only to reappear tired and worn out.

Now, I know I’€™m grasping at straws. I just know, because one of these couples has been married for seven years and the other for five, neither of whom have children yet. I must say, on the exterior they appear to be coping well, attending naming ceremonies and even bringing gifts for the babies. But there are times when you can see the crack in their emotions. These women cry inside.

When my last set of twins were one month old, one of the women approached me while I was carrying them, and gave them some money while saying to them to ask God to give her and her husband their own baby. It literally broke my heart.

But I did not think about surrogacy until one Sunday, when the thoughts of these women came to my mind again. I have no idea what triggered it. I just knew, all of a sudden, I wished I could help them carry their babies.

My rationale was, I was obviously fertile, with kids of my own. I was young and was done with having kids of my own. I wanted to be able to help these women achieve that feat. The ball was, however, not entirely in my court. I thought about how my spouse would react, when I told him, and what reasons I could give for wanting to do this.

My imagination was in absolute overdrive, as I thought about details of the agreement we would have, if I would need to leave work, maternity clothes, details of where the baby/babies will be born, if I would still be able to have sex with my husband while carrying another couple’™s baby. I guess it’s obvious that I like sex, for me to even think about it when I’m thinking of a life.

I knew I could not present either of these couples with such a risqué proposal, knowing how private they are. Instead, I imagined them asking me to help them carry their child, with my response being “€œI would love to! But I need to discuss it with my husband.”€ For months I thought about it, and still get flashbacks.

For those who don’€™t know, a surrogate is a woman who carries another woman’€™s embryo to term, because the other woman could not do so by herself, due to various medical conditions that could warrant it.

Being a surrogate for me has only lived in my head but the reality is; it is happening. Young ladies are signing up on websites that provide surrogacy, egg donation, and sperm donation services in droves. And there are some who are advertising their services by themselves on the internet. They see a story on surrogacy, and they insert their contact details stating their availability.

Every time I see any such advert, the feeling I get is that it has stopped being a humane gesture. It is pretty obvious that the main driving force for the trend is now money. And the amount of money involved is not child’™s play, which, I guess, explains why there is so much interest. Apart from the agreed fee to be paid the surrogate at the end of the pregnancy, prospective parents are expected to cater for the surrogate, taking care of her and all her needs.


Although, it is a development that has exploded in other countries, like India and China, it is fast on the rise here in Nigeria, albeit being a bit more of an under the radar arrangement. A lot of people have wondered if is not in conflict with our culture, and how it will contort the child’s story. Will there not be discrimination against that child, given its birth circumstances? What about if the surrogate bonds with the child that has lived in her womb for nine months, even if, her DNA is different from the child? What impact will that have on her psychologically? Would it not feel as though one lost a child?

There was recently a storyline on the popular soap opera, Tinsel, in which Brenda Mensah’s former arch enemy Angela Dede offered to be her surrogate. Even though the storyline soon took some telenovela-esque twists and turns (with Brenda’s husband having an affair with Angela shortly after the embryo transfer, bringing even the maternity to question), it was an emotionally distraught Angela who handed over the baby to the biological parents.

I recently read a story about a woman, who was a surrogate for her sister. She never talked to her bump, instead she left that to the biological parents of the baby. I wonder how it works, when the parents are not around, especially when you need to calm the baby down, like in the middle of the night when the kicking starts.

Thinking of all of this have made me have second thoughts about my surrogacy endeavour. Yes, the thought of helping a couple bring their dream to life would make it worthwhile, but would I be able to bear handing over that baby or babies? Would I be able to prevent bonding with the baby/babies I would carry? What explanation would I give my family and friends? How would I explain to my children that the baby Mommy is carrying is not their brother or sister? And as for the biological parents, how would they be able to explain the sudden emergence of a baby in their lives? How would they prove to people that the child was, in fact, their own flesh and blood? I guess it’s something we would have to experience to really know.

To all genuine surrogates, well done to you…and God bless you for your noble sacrifice. To all the opportunists taking advantage of other people’s misfortune….God is watching you in 3D! To all couples who are on the lookout for surrogates…be wise, be careful, and be vigilant.

God speed to everyone!



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If you choose to match or be matched with anyone from the comment section of this thread, it is solely at your own risk. The Fertile Chick will not be liable for any transactions that take place outside of this thread. We strongly advise you to exercise discretion before contacting anyone who purports to offer surrogacy services, or is in need of such services. Do your due diligence thoroughly before making any kind of commitment.


  1. Hello Kemi,

    Thanks for sharing from your heart such a timely post…I’ve been married for nine years now with no kids. My hubby and I have been contemplating surrogacy in Nigeria, we recently bump into some sites and we were excited to know that surrogacy is known is Nigeria as well, we’ve seriously considered asking some family members and friends to help us carry, then all these thoughts flies in and out of my head so reading your post this morning feels very real to me. Thanks

  2. Hi. Myself and dear wife have been trying for over 4 years now and have had 3 ivfs now without success probably bcos of my wife’s fibroid. Would genuinely be happy if i could find a kind volunteer to help as a surrogate.

    If anyone would like to help, you could email me on I will be very very appreciative. Thanks

  3. My wife and I have been trusting the Lord for almost 8years now and we’ve made several unsuccessful attempt at IVF, ICSI and several other methods in and outside the country. We’re presently considering this option of surrogacy. Reading through your write up have exposed a lot of dark areas in our mind. I would like to ask if you can be consulted in getting a carrier since we’ll be fertilising my sperm and my wife’s egg for the procedure ?

    • Hi Ayomide, first of all, what clinic are you using? And yes, we have had a few ladies reach out to us, signifying their interest to be a surrogate. I will look through and get back to you, but it’s not a bad idea to go through your clinic, it helps with the screening process.
      Or better still, send me a private message here.

      • Hi, Apart from knowing the ladies will you be handling legsl procedures etc? Maybe the team can work with selected hospitals on this surrogacy issue. Easier takling to your team here than impersonal hospital staffs

  4. Hello oluwakemi. This blog has no doubt been informative. My wife and I have both checked hospitals in and out of the country. We’ve been told my wife’s womb cannot carry a baby and that it’d be risky to carry out IVF. We have been advised to try surrogacy and I thought it was impossible (especially in Nigeria) until I did some research on it.
    Can you refer us to reputable agents or intending surrogacy mothers.
    I’ll appreciate if you can also share more information on this.

  5. Thanks Oluwakemi for the response. I’d prefer a known surrogate mother as I’d like her to have the baby outside the country. If you know any one willing to be a surrogate mother or reputable agent, please let me know. Thanks.

  6. @ Oluwakemi, how can I reach you and is it possible for the unknown surrogate mother that is going to be introduced to me be flown abroad for delivery?

  7. Hi Oluwakemi. Thanks for your post. I just concluded with my husband to go fo surrogacy today and your post just soothes me. I also read your comment to Ayo and do sincerely request that you please send me the details of some intending surrogates so that i can call them up and have a discussion with them. Thanks for your anticipated help.

    • Chichi dear, as Kemi screens through the intending surrogates and sends you the contact information she has, I have taken down your number, to protect you from all sorts of unsolicited phone calls. We will hold on to your phone number privately, and get in touch if we find anything that sounds good and legit :heart:

  8. Hi All,
    Big thank you to Oluwakemi and Nicole for this website. I am looking for a surrogate and considering doing the embryo transfer abroad. Please anyone interested should contact me.

    • Hi Excellence, I will be in touch shortly. But you can go right ahead and register as a member on our site and send me a friendship request. We can take it from there. Meanwhile, I will remove your contact from here for privacy reasons.

  9. Hi from the depth of my heart l pray that God will continue to back you up in all your ways. It’s a very great idea, my sister, women are in pains because of this issue of child bearing dying in pains,but with people like you throwing more lights on it, l pray whom soever decides to help people through this medium, God by himself will reward them and bless them because it’s not easy but thank God for you KEMI and it is well with you in the name of Jesus

    • My sister, you are quite right about the fact that infertility is a very painful journey to take for anyone, especially in this our own society where childless moms are counted for nothing. But thank God, there are options now. Amen and it is well with you too Ayodele.

  10. My name is success ogbodo, I want to be a surrogate mother, I stay at Enugu and am willing to stay with the person or go to any location till I born the baby. Call me if you are interested 08120255404

  11. Hi kemi, I have been trying to register on this site. Its asking for an activation to continue. No activation key was sent to my email address.

  12. Hello. My husband and I am in need of a surrogate. We are in America but would be willing to travel. I would like to use my egg and my husband’s sperm for the procedure. Last year in 2016 I lost three babies. We lost my daughter in September at only 23 weeks. She died due to a placental abruption. The surgery left me with scars in my uterus and I may never be able to get pregnant naturally again. My husband has two adopted children from a previous marriage. His ex wife was also unable to give him a biological child. I have no living children. I will email you to find out what we would need to do and what the legalities are of doing a surrogacy from so far away.
    The reason we chose to look at Nigeria instead of India is because a couple of years ago my uncle had my grandfathers DNA tested. We found out that my family is originally from Nigeria. Having a surrogacy there would feel like I have a connection to my country of origin. I have always wanted to visit Nigeria.

  13. Hi Oluwaseun, big ups to you for the good works, may God bless you dear. I’ve been looking for a platform like this because, I really will love to help a couple carry their child to put that beautiful smile on their faces. I’m based in Abuja. Thanks

  14. Hello. Am looking for a surrogate mother. Please send me an email. I leave in abuja by the way. Please reach out to me. Thanks.

  15. Hello ooooo

    I and my husband had concluded to go for IVF but we need a carrier/ surrogate mother. We’ve been married for 4years now without any issue. Can u pls hook me up with agent or surrogate mother pls.

  16. Kemi/ Nicole, how do we know we are getting the real deal as per surrogate, not that they will turn around last minute to try to backout or ask for more? Besides I wouldn’t want to know my surrogate. Am of the opinion that the less we interact the better, confidentiality being the watchword. How can I pick a light skinned healthy person, how do I get the legal side signed and sealed by both the surrogate and me? How do we make it work?

    • Hello Ogbemi, your concerns are valid and they should be taken care off by your surrogacy agency if you are using one or your clinic. Either way, they will do their very best that none of these issues ever come up and if it does, they have a way of handling it. All the legal aspects will also be taken care off early in the surrogacy procedure.

  17. Thanks Oluwakemi, what I actually had in mind was ladies offering to be surrogates in this forum. How do we deal with them an not end up in regrets? Also I wtote to 3 of the clinics, The Bridge says they dont have surrogates and we have to come with our own. I have bookedofree consultation with Nordica on the issue though. Is there a list of reliable agencies we can contact? If we are usong ladies offering to be surrogates in this forum what do you advise? Thanks

    • Dear Ogbemi, we have just included a disclaimer in the post. We try to discourage transactions occurring in the comment section of any post. To protect our members, we briefly started our own surrogacy service, so that we could screen some of these intending surrogates, but the system was abused, so we pulled the plug. I would advise you pursue discussions with Nordica, and also consider The Ark and Olive Branch, both of which have very good surrogacy programs.


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