Even with life’s hardships and its ups and downs, it’s next to impossible for a woman not to notice when her husband’s attention shifts from her to someone else.
While I was still a child, I knew a woman who didn’t have children; let’s call her Abigail. Even in those days of unadvanced technology, the woman went from pillar to post in search of ways to get pregnant. One day, Abigail noticed something very strange about her husband. His businesses began taking him awayfrom the house more often than before, and she knew that he didn’t really need to travel for most of his business transactions. Her ‘Ms Snoop’ mode set in and she decided to follow him out on one of his business trips,without his knowledge.
On that fateful day, Abigail kissed her husband goodbye, and as soon as he left the house, she ran to her car and kicked the engine to life. She tailed behind him and was surprised to see that for a man on a business trip, he wasn’t headed to the airport and neither was he headed to the bus park. Abigail’s husband ended his journey at a modest looking house. He got out of his car with his bags, and got into the house. She laid low like a lion stalking its prey, and when he never came out of the house, she left, making a mental note of returning the next day.
The next day, she went back to the same house and saw her husband’s car still parked at the same spot he had parked it the day before. This time curiosity had set in, and she really wanted to know what was going on. She alighted from her car and headed into the house.She didn’t know which flat to go, as there were about four flats in the compound. She was about turning back to leave, when she saw a young girl washing clothes by the tap, she approached her.
“Please…I am looking for a man who drives the red sports car outside. Do you by any chance know his flat?” She asked sweetly.
The girl looked at her, quite clueless at first then her face broke in recognition.
“Oh yes…do you mean the tall man with the beard?” She asked.
“Oh yes…” Abigail said, as her husband had a full beard.
“That’s Aunty Carol’s husband…he comes and goes, I guess it’s because he lives abroad. Their flat is the second one downstairs.” The girl said.
The woman was shocked to hear the girl refer to her husband as another woman’s spouse, but showing no signs of it.She thanked the girl and headed to the flat.
She got there, and instead of knocking, she pushed the door open- you can imagine the rage that was pouring through her at this point. The door wasn’t locked and she stepped into the apartment to see her husband, rocking a baby to sleep, while a toddler was at his feet playing with a toy. Her heart caught in her chest as she stared at the man she loved in a different setting, something she wanted to be hers yet belonged to the ‘other’ woman.
“Patrick!” She called out in shock.
Her husband stared at her in surprise but after some minutes, his shock was replaced with indignant anger.
“What are you doing here?” He had demanded of her.
She broke down in tears and the other woman emerged from inside the house when she heard the commotion in her sitting room. The ‘other woman’was in her middle to late thirties while the Abigail was in her late twenties at the time. She stared at them in anger for a while and stormed out of the house.
When her husband came home from his supposed trip, he said nothing to her and neither did she say anything to him. It was three months after that he broke the silence, and told her that since children were not coming forth from their marriage, he had to go outside their hometo get children.
He went ahead to tell her that his family knew about the whole arrangement and had supported him. Abigail had never felt so betrayed in her entire life.She couldn’t believe that her mother-in-law, who treated her as she would her daughter, could have given her son a go-ahead to get a new woman behind her back. At the end of the day, she was quite content that the ‘other woman’ didn’t live under her roof, and she continued living life like it was golden.
Even after knowing that her husband had fathered children outside their matrimonial home, Abigail never left her home, but stayed put through it all. She watched as her husband bragged about his children’s successes, hung their pictures on the walls of their house, and even went as far as telling her that he wanted them to spend their holidays with him, in their matrimonial home, from time to time.
He didn’t expect the shocker he received one fateful day as he had gone to pick his daughter up from school. She handed him her report card and to his utter shock, he found that her surname wasn’t the same as his. He was outraged and on confronting his other woman, she told him quite categorically that she was never interested in marriage or having children for a man but for herself. She told him that she was an independent woman and she made her children understand that from the day they began to ask questions. She pointed out that, instead of choosing a sperm donor for her children, she had decided to get pregnant for a man whom she could introduce to her kids as their father,in case questions arose and that her kids bore her surname name as they belonged to her.
Abigail’s husband almost suffered a stroke from his mistress’s revelation, but Abigail was there to nurse him back to health. Abigail and her husband made the decision to adopt children, and are now parents to a beautiful girl and a cute boy, and their lives have never felt so complete.
If Abigail’s husband knew better at the beginning, he would have opted for adoption and saved himself the stress of training and bringing up children that, in every sense of the word, consider him a ‘sperm donor’.
This goes a long way to show that, even though life has been offered to us to do as we please, whenever we make choices, we are responsible for them. In other words, no matter how simple it seems to go out and get another woman, there are consequences to all of our actions and in the end the ‘other woman’ is never always the right choice!
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