Our Miracle Baby Came When We Stopped Trying – Sena’s story

Black couple smiling on sofa


“Why are you crying,” Sena’s husband asked. “Aren’t you happy that nothing is wrong with you and that you don’t have a genetic disorder?”

The question in his voice was unmistakeable, but the anguish in her heart was too real. Before being sent for the recurrent pregnancy loss test, she had suffered five miscarriages, and each time, a small corner of her mind held hope that this one would stay. Unfortunately, it always ended up in a miscarriage. Now, there was even nothing to do again.

Sena and her husband had gotten married straight of the university. They had gotten pregnant less than a year into their marriage and that pregnancy was what you would call smooth sailing. No issues; no morning sickness, no pains or unnecessarily aches. And when it came time for childbirth, the baby was in a hurry to come into the world. She didn’t want her mama suffering any long labour, just because it was her first time.

So, after a four-hour labour, the fairest of them all (at least in her mama’s eyes) appeared on the scene, and it was love at first sight and love all through the years since then. According to Sena, her six year old is far older than her age, caring and so intuitive, that she wonders if she’s not an old woman in disguise.

When her daughter was two years old, they started trying for another child but for some reason, it just wasn’t happening. Because science said Sena was on the wrong side of 30 for her fertility, she and her husband went to her doctor earlier than expected, and there, they started off with cycle monitoring.

After nothing still happened, they moved on to medication to boost their conception, chances and that was when something started to happen; except it left many broken hearts in its trail.

Sena got pregnant fives time within four years, and every time it ended in a miscarriage, a part of her heart died with the babies, and that was how she was sucked deeper and deeper into the world of pessimism. Her husband was the sunshine boy, while she was a Debbie Downer incarnate. He chose to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and he struggled to show the light to her.

The miscarriages made her feel a bit of a failure. Her husband did his best to reassure her that, although the miscarriages were painful, it was a whole lot better for the babies to be miscarried when they did, than for them to find out something was wrong later in the pregnancy.

While she understood his rationale, it didn’t comfort her. Rather, it made her hurt more and feel alone.

After years of this misery, living life with an inquisitive child and putting on the best face, Sena decided to give it all up. But not before her doctor sent her for recurrent pregnancy loss testing. She was in tears when the results all came back negative.

She wept because; it now felt like they had arrived at a dead end. Nothing, as in absolutely nothing, was responsible for the loss of her five pregnancies. It had just happened that way and was purely coincidentally that they had happened back to back, five solid times.

The fact that they were in a place where there was nothing else to treat, just helped her decide to take the break. Scratch that. Not a break, but basically to stop trying anymore. No more pokes from daily needles, no more ups and downs, no more waiting and praying.

Sena was in blissland now, but there was a risk that she could conceive spontaneously and still experience a miscarriage, or worse, conceive a baby with defects and they wouldn’t know until it was too late.

After weeks of thinking about it, Sena and her husband decided to forgo contraception, as they only started conceiving and experiencing miscarriages after they started treatment. So they thought if they were not on any treatment, her body was just going to work on its own contraception.

While they enjoyed themselves, they worked with her natural cycle and engaged in the act only during her “safe period”…or so they thought.

So, imagine the shock, and then fear, that gripped Sena when her period failed to show up on time, a few months later.

She had a HPT lying around her house and took a test. Lo and behold, she saw two lines. She checked the dates again, the times they had sex and tossed the stick into the bin. There was no way she could be pregnant. The stick had probably been lying around for too long and was not working properly.

Sena went about her merry way; enjoying life, the awesome girl who called her mommy, her ever loving husband, and the beautiful friends she had been blessed with. She was living life to the fullest and trying to make up for lost time, the times she was TTC.

One month later, Aunty Flo was yet to show up and Sena was beginning to think seriously about this pregnancy business. Though the symptoms were not pronounced, there were still signs, like the very brief spell of dizziness in the mornings, a new found love for ice creams and waffles, even though she was allegedly doing a detox.

Finally, when it was exactly five weeks after Aunty Flo was supposed to have showed up, but didn’t, Sena took another test, this time with a newly bought stick. Again, two solid lines stared back at her. She went to her clinic, told her doctor what she had seen, blood tests were run, a scan was done, and there were the twins, swimming in all of their glory.  

If she had not been lying down when she saw those babies, she would have fallenl down in shock, because her husband sure did. He dropped into the chair beside her and tried to control his emotions.

“Babes, we are having twins!!!” He said, as he held her hand, “It has happened for us finally.”

Sena just kept shaking her head; so overcome with emotions, she had no words.

When they least expected it, that was when their double blessings showed up.

So far, this pregnancy has been a replica of her first pregnancy. No stress, all joy.

Sena’s victory report is a reminder that God is still in the business of doing wonders.

He’s never late…He’s always on time…Just hold on.



Join the conversation with any of our TTC and Pregnancy Groups here

Photo credits:

1. http://cdn-img.essence.com

2. http://i.huffpost.com/gen/

3. https://mir-s3-cdn-cf.behance.net



  1. I haven’t given up hope! i am more convinced now that mine will happen soon. He’s the same God, yesterday, today and forever. This testimony got me dancing


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