Older Mom versus Younger Mom

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In one of my earlier blog posts, I talked about the benefits of being an older Mom, and gave referenced some research that showed how it is not all gloom and doom for women who choose to start a family a bit later (you can read that article here). That article, especially on its Bella Naija post (here) drew a lot of mixed reactions, and understandably so. Whilst there were a number of people who agreed that waiting to be more settled in life before starting a family had its benefits, there were quite a number who believed it was a case of the earlier the better. So, I have decided to write this article to analyse the pros of each one, side by side. I didn’t bother with Cons, as the Pros of one would automatically count as Cons of the other.

Let’s start with the younger Mom.

Younger Mom

Older Mom vs Younger Mom

In my early 20s, I would have done anything to be a Mom. I was an only child for 10 years, after which I got just the one sibling, so I have almost always had a craving for babies. But I wasn’t in a meaningful relationship at the time, so I didn’t have the opportunity. So, if I were to have become a Mom at, say 22, here are what the pros would probably be:

Pros

  1. I would have had a 19 year old child by now….which would have been friggin amazing! Imagine being able to borrow my daughter’s clothes!!!!
  2. I would definitely be done with childbearing by now, and ready to move on to other things
  3. I would be young enough to still be a Sisi Eko at my children’s weddings, and also be a funky Grandma ūüėČ
  4. I might (and that’s a big might) have not had had the kind of fertility issues I had, especially considering the fibroids I had later in my 20s

Those were really all the Pros I can think of. One of the common Pros of early childbirth I have read is that one’s body is able to spring back to its pre-pregnancy easier. Well, I beg to differ! I had my babies at 34…and twins for that matter…and I had quite a decent spring back. So, I won’t count it as a Pro for Young Moms! Another thing I won’t count as a Pro is “having more energy to play with/handle the kids”. By maintaining a decent exercise regime, I believe I am as energetic at 40 as I was at 22….maybe even more so ¬†ūüėČ

So….now on to the older Mom.

 

Older Mom

Older Mom vs Younger Mom

After 3 years of marriage, at the age of 34, I had my beautiful twin girls. So, I guess this qualifies me to be an older Mom :haha:. Without batting an eye, I can tell you what the pros have been:

Pros

  1. I had had enough time to mature emotionally and mentally. I’m not sure I was selfless enough in my 20s to have taken on the responsibility of bringing another person’s needs above my own, every single second of the day. But by the twins arrived, my selfishness became a thing of the past
  2. I had been able to live life. I had done things just because. I knew what it was like to be able to fend for only myself.
  3. I was financially secure. Yes, I have a great Partner, who has been very supportive, but it helped that I had a decent financial bed of my own
  4. I had put in enough years into my career to be able to take time off work, relatively guilt free. When the girls came, I had worked in my company for a number of years, and was able to get 5 months paid maternity leave (2 months more than the standard 3), along with time off for all their medical appointments afterwards
  5. When the girls turned 2, I was able to decide to give up my 9 to 5 job and work towards something that would give me more time with my family. This decision was relatively easy for me, as I had already been working for 13 years, and had built an impressive resume, which would enable easily return back to the workforce anytime I want
  6. In a nutshell, I had had more time to prepare

So, you know what team I clearly belong to! If I were to choose, I’d do it all over again. What team are you on?

 

 

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Photo Credits

  1. http://www.regalrealness.com
  2. Google Images

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6 COMMENTS

  1. Hi Nicole, love the article. Am 30, had a fibroid diagnosis last year and still praying for my babies. please can you shed some light on prolactin tests and hsg?
    doctor prescribed both today, just wanna know what to expect, any wished I had known points… Thanks!

    • Thanks Sultana. I appreciate it!

      So sorry about your fibroids. Were you advised to manage them, or have them removed? As for the Prolactin test, your doctor might want to confirm whether or not you ovulate, as high levels of the hormone Prolactin inhibit the follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) and the gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH), both of which hormones trigger ovulation, allowing eggs to develop and mature. So if it’s high, you might not be ovulating. Also the HSG test is pretty much to test tubal function, to make sure there is no blockage.

      Whilst the Prolactin test is oftentimes a blood test (and as such, nothing to worry about), the HSG test could be a bit uncomfortable, especially as a result of the dye that is passed through.

      Why don’t you come join us here in this Group (http://thefertilechickonline.com/groups/trying-to-conceive-group/). One of our members is being treated for high levels of prolactin.

      Good luck dear!

  2. Thanks for the prompt response, really appreciate you. I will join the group once u get a hang of it ūüôā
    the tests went well though I screamed plenty during the hsg, twas painful!
    thankfully, both came out fine. Prolactin level was very normal. The tubes too aren’t blocked. The doctor however recommended a tubal flush just to be on the safe side. Did you ever do that? And how did it go. …?

  3. Thanks for the prompt response, really appreciate you. I will join the group once u get a hang of it ūüôā
    the tests went well though I screamed plenty during the hsg, twas painful!
    thankfully, both came out fine. Prolactin level was very normal. The tubes too aren’t blocked. The doctor however recommended a tubal flush just to be on the safe side. Did you ever do that? And how did it go?

    God bless you

    Really appreciate you. Hi to the twins. xoxo

  4. Sorry for the many typos above. Checked out the group but didn’t see any join group option. It could be my device though, will check on a proper computer

    • Hi Sultana! I’m glad that your tests came back normal. I never did the tubal flush, as my blockage was too severe for that, but if it’s just precautionary, I don’t see why not. It sounds like you have a proactive doctor, so you’re very lucky about that :good:

      You could try the general Groups page instead. There, you’ll see a button for joining any group of your choice. Here’s the link http://thefertilechickonline.com/groups/. But to that, you’ll have to be a registered member of the site.

      Please let me know if you have any issues. We’ll love to have you here :hugs:

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