Nature, Coincidence…or Jazz?!

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When I was a younger, I had an Aunt who had been married about 7 years, with no kids. Then one Saturday evening, after receiving a phone call, my Mother grabbed her car keys and ran out of the house, before she could even wear both feet of her slippers. Upon her return, we found out that my Aunt’s housemaid, a little girl that had been staying with her since she got married, had confessed to being a “witch”, and that she had tied my Aunt’s womb in her coven. The girl was immediately sent back to the village, and what followed was a month of heavy prayers, casting, and cleansing, not only of my Aunt’s house, but anywhere the alleged witch could have had any influence…my home inclusive. Six short months later, my Aunt was pregnant with her now 24 year old son! To all of us then, it was like WOW!!! So truly truly, Ezinne was really the one holding my Aunt’s womb sha! But now that I am older, I have found myself wondering. Was it really witchcraft, or could my Aunt have had physiological issues that had prevented her being able to conceive? She had been incredibly overweight, but the stress of the witchcraft revelation, and marathon prayer sessions, had made her lose quite a bit of weight. Could that have been why she had eventually gotten the pregnant? Was it nature, coincidence…or was it jazz?

When I turned 18, a similar incident unfolded. A family friend’s housemaid (I know, right?!), also confessed to being a “witch”. Her employer already had a house full of children, the oldest of whom was my age, Chioma*.In a very déjà vu scenario, amongst the very many things the supposed witch confessed to, one of the most glaring was her affliction of infertility on Chioma. All the supposed spells were cast, bound, and rejected fervently. Four years later, when we turned 22, Chioma got pregnant for her University boyfriend, and gave birth to a son. The overwhelming relief that Chioma’s fertility was still intact, made up for the disappointment of her getting pregnant out of wedlock. Alas, Chioma and her boyfriend parted ways after a few years. When she turned 29, she got married, but unfortunately, after 6 years of childlessness, the marriage crumbled. Her Mother lamented and cursed their housemaid from years ago, and how it was her wretched spell that had caused the problems her daughter was now facing. But what nobody cared to recall was the fact that Chioma had undergone surgery to remove multiple fibroids, a few years before her wedding. Could her secondary infertility have been a direct result of this procedure…adhesion and scar tissue formation perhaps? And could her husband, who had refused to submit himself for any tests throughout their marriage, have been the reason behind their infertility? After all, she already had a child of her own. Or could it, really, have been the housemaid’s curse still lingering, over a decade later? Was it nature, coincidence…or jazz?

About a month before my wedding, my husband and I went to visit one of his Aunts, who lived in one of the furthest outskirts of town. She was a woman in her 70s, who lived alone in her flat, estranged from her husband, and even her children. The only person still in touch with her was her brother (my Father-in-law), and by extension, my husband and his siblings. She was so happy and excited to receive us, and fussed over us the entire time we were there. At a point, she sent me to her room to get her Bible, so she could pray for us. Fast forward a few years later, when my husband and I were still trying for a baby, another of his Aunts came to visit, and somehow, got talking about Aunty Ugo*, and how evil and diabolical she supposedly was. In the course of the conversation, we mentioned how she had sent me into her room to get something, and his Aunt literally hit the roof! “How could you allow your wife go into her room???!!” she screamed “Oh my God! Why didn’t you tell us?!! And yet we are wondering why your wife hasn’t yet taken in!!!”. This was immediately followed by several phone calls to several family members, all of whom proceeded to call to yell and scold us about how careless we had been, and how we had to find a way to counter whatever spell she had supposedly cast. It didn’t matter that I had PCOS, or only 1 viable tube, or adhesions and scar tissue from my previous fibroid surgery. Apparently, it was Aunty Ugo that was responsible for our mishap. Thankfully, my husband shut down all the rumour mongers, and we didn’t pursue it any further. A few months later, I was pregnant with the twins. But I’m sure a lot of people were left wondering if it was nature, coincidence…or jazz?

One of my best friends has had a rough ride with life. She has found herself drifting from job to job, and despite being very beautiful and with a great personality, is still single. The people around her have been able to convince her that her troubles stem from her Stepmother, and an incident that happened about 12 years ago. My friend had been home on holiday from the UK, and had decided to visit her father and his new wife. Her flimsy nightwear was not appropriate to be worn anywhere outside her bedroom, so she had proceeded to ask her Stepmother for a wrapper to cover herself. She didn’t think much of the fact that her Stepmom had handed her a brand new ankara wrapper, still in its pack. Not until she recounted the story to her own Mother and siblings, a few weeks later, upon which they had gone ballistic! Apparently, that had been some sort of evil sign, and the fact that my friend had proceeded to use this brand new wrapper and, worse still, leave it behind, was enough ammunition for her Stepmother to use against her. So, years later, when she started facing career and no-husband issues, all fingers were pointed at this Stepmother of hers. The fact that my friend is actually a die-hard perfectionist who has found it hard to agree with what she believes were wrong practices in all the companies she has worked, or that she is always quick to find multiple faults in all the suitors she has had, apparently don’t matter. So, it makes me wonder, is her current situation as a result of whatever evil spell her Stepmother has supposedly cast, or her inability to compromise? Nature, coincidence…or jazz?

I have had this argument with so many people…my mother, and more than a few friends and family. Yes, we live in an evil world, with evil people…but I am one of those people who have a firm belief in the God that I serve. My own belief is that, as long as I pray, there is absolutely no way anyone will be able to harm me. I refuse to believe that the God that I serve would allow that! It sounds naïve to a lot of people, but that is just what I believe. So, I make sure I pray…and I mean PRAY!!! I pray to my God to watch over, and protect me and mine always…and I trust Him implicitly to do this!

So, for all the things that have happened in my life, I know that they are all part of God’s master plan for me, and, armed with my prayers, I’m happy to ride the tide and see where things go.

Nature, maybe. Coincidence, possibly. Jazz…not a chance!

 

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26 COMMENTS

  1. Hmmm, that is a tough one. Especially in Nigeria, I’ve been told that the materials I got as wedding gifts that I have sewn and worn are responsible for my infertility and I should burn them including those I am yet to sew. Not withstanding that a pastor prayed on my wedding gifts. It seems like a small price to pay to be released though. I have also been told that my husband’s bitter ex is the cause. Just to ensure I cover all grounds, I have become very prayerful, casting and binding every monitoring spirit in my life but I’m also waiting on the doctor’s report. You really can never tell.

    • Exactly my point, Paula hun! My belief is that once you PRAY…and I mean PRAY HARD…none of these should be able to touch you. As Christians, we are covered by the blood of Jesus, and absolutely no weapon should EVER be able to prosper against us :yes:

  2. Personally, I am doing my bit by praying hard and allowing the doctors to do his bit. My biggest fear is running from prayer camp to prayer camp in the name of looking for a baby. I kent! We however can’t hide the fact that in our part of the world, jazz does happen but we can’t let that thought control us as well.

    • Hi Omowunmi. So sorry about that. It could be a hormonal issue, with you not producing enough progesterone anytime you get pregnant. Next time you take in, please ask your doctor to place you on progesterone support :hug:

  3. Very interesting piece, but sometime I do catch myself wondering if someone is also responsible that am still ttcing, I guess it is somehow a part of our DNA to always believe that someone may be responsible for our predicament

    • You’re right, vicky. It’s normal to wonder sometimes…but for our own piece of mind, it’s best to hold on to the belief that we are covered by a higher power :cloud9:

  4. As a woman who has struggled with PCOS for 14 years I’ve learned that gratitude to God for his blessing is not tied to Childbirth only. After 7 years of ttc with no results Yet, instead of focusing on this one unanswered prayer, I thank him for all the many blessings in my life. Should you understand the message of gratitude and thanksgiving our demeanor will change. God’s blessed us with so many other things, we can’t minimise his wonders to the one thing we yearn for that hasn’t been fulfilled. When people tell me it’s the evil of xyz causing my subfertility, I simply tell them, the devil has been misdirected and attacking the wrong blessing, because I’m blessed with my peace of mind and sanity, almost perfect health, a fulfilling career that allows me to live a very comfortable life, and a husband who loves me. Let’s enlarge God’s blessing.

  5. Very interesting piece but as a child of God dat I am, I believe the God I serve is greater than the devil n the people he uses so I channel my strength into what my God can do. He is God Almighty I will rather channel my energy n prayers to receive a child than use that same time to kill my enemies bcos I know that His blessings maketh rich n adds no sorrow to it.

  6. Very interesting piece, I really wish women TTC would read this and learn. Dwelling on the devil and his possible mischief is detrimental to receiving your blessing. Stay focused, stay with God. I was wondering if a spell was cast on me and boom I got pregnant, though I didn’t carry it to term, but I learnt from it that God is still watching out for me.

  7. Thank you for your testimony OSE. God indeed is still watching out for you and He will perfect all that concerns you in His time. Like that Asa song, satan be gone, we got no business with you.

    However, when you are down there, it can be hard to think straight and not believe that some one, somewhere is indeed ‘jazzing’ you. God help us, Satan be gone.

  8. HI Nicole,
    It’s Dr Chige,your no 1 commenter from bellanaija. I have stalked you to your blog.
    I thoroughly enjoyed this article. I believe in ‘evil’ but in this environment it’s our default setting when we’ re looking for who or what to blame. The annoying thing is that most times there is always a logical alternative which we conveniently tend to ignore

    • Dr Chige!!! Oh how I have missed you :hugs: :hugs:. I know riiiight! As Africans, that seems to be the first explanation to everything, preventing us from seeking the solutions that are often staring us in the face!

  9. It’s a wicked world we live in, which is why you can’t be lukewarm ! You are either for God or on Ur own. N with God, you are sure of all his promises.
    Not Ttc but had a miscarriage one time and it hit me so hard, I started carrying a torch for any Ttc person! Not an easy road!

    Baby dust to all

  10. Hmmmmm,as you have rightly said,being an African and a Nigerian is not easy on this TTC journey. But,one thing I know for sure is that with God all things are possible,he is still in the business of doing good. I believe in prayers cause I have seen and heard testimonies as a result of it. As I am praying I also believe that allowing the doctors to do their job can never be overemphasize . God’s speed to all our deepest heart desires,amen.

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