November 30th, 2012
It’s been a very rough few days…
I’ve had a few good cries. That didn’t really help. Maybe tomorrow, the cloud of doom will lift.
On the plus side, I’ve ordered mum and dads album and also my Secret Santa present. I’ll be glad when they’ve arrived so I know that’s sorted at least…
December 2nd, 2012
I still feel a bit blue. I think it is Christmas looming that is doing it. I just don’t want a grown up Christmas. I want the magical one that you can only get with a child who believes in Santa. I want noise and mess and craziness.
I guess I’m just tired of not having any baby to share the holiday with. It’s been seven Christmases…but nothing…
December 3rd, 2012
I had a cry with my manager today. She’s going through fertility problems herself, so she understands how hard Christmas is.
So the plan of action is to accept that it is okay to not be okay, that I won’t be the life and soul of the party this year like I normally am, that I will make the most of the grown up Christmas and all those parts of it that parents don’t get to enjoy, and to do whatever it is I have to do to get through this.
Who knows, maybe we’ll get some news about the loan soon and I’ll perk up again.
December 4th, 2012
I received an e-mail from the loan, and I got all excited until I read that it was just confirming that they have all the information they need and will be passing it to their decisions committee, and they will be in touch when they’ve considered everything.
Hiss! Another long wait!
I had a long lunch with my friend on maternity leave and her baby, who is just soooooo cute. I thought it would be hard for me, but not at all. It actually gave me a much needed ray of sunshine. I can’t wait to have mine!
December 10th, 2012
I put up my Christmas decorations on Saturday, so it pretty much made my weekend!
My inner child comes out when it comes to my tree!!! I have enough lights on it that it are visible from outer space! So much tinsel you can’t see the branches, and so many decorations there is a danger the weight of the tree could crash through the floor! Oh, and it has every possible colour on it. No tasteful decorated tree in matching colours for me! LOL!
I’ve had a great weekend. My The house is decorated, I’ve actually almost finished my Christmas shopping, and my sister came for Sunday lunch and stayed for 7 hours!! I had an absolute blast!
Back to work today though. I wish I didn’t have to work in December, so I could hibernate like a bear.
Still no news on the loan. I think it will be this week or next week.
December 15th, 2012
I had a great time yesterday, at our Team Christmas lunch (no party this year). It was pretty merry and I managed not to get too drunk..
For some inexplicable reason, I stopped at Shoprite Surulere on the way home, and ended buying a whole lot of things I don’t even need. I’m going to blame it on the alcohol! Talk about a waste of money.
But on the plus side, I have no hangover to grapple with, and I appear to have finished all my Christmas shopping now! So maybe the impulse buying had its benefits.
Today is dedicated mainly to housework and present wrapping. Babs is going out for a couple of hours this afternoon, so I’m going to just watch all the Christmas specials on DSTV, and enjoy a glass of Baileys while I wrap.
I have to get my kicks from somewhere, abi?
My name is Morayo. I’m a TTC Warrior…and I’m far too stubborn to give up.
Catch up on Morayo’s story here:
- Morayo’s Mountain 1: TTC Warrior
- Morayo’s Mountain 2: Soul Mate
- Morayo’s Mountain 3: Grateful for the little things
- Morayo’s Mountain 4: Family Secret
- Morayo’s Mountain 5: Fed Up
- Morayo’s Mountain 6: The Weekend
- Morayos’ Mountain 7: Missing Period
- Morayo’s Mountain 8: A Problem Shared
- Morayo’s Mountain 9: Insemination Cups
- Morayo’s Mountain 10: Obsessed
- Morayo’s Mountain 11: Botched Cycle
- Morayo’s Mountain 12: Psych Myself
- Morayo’s Mountain 13: Broody
- Morayo’s Mountain 14: Confused and Confuddled
- Morayo’s Mountain 15: Another Two Week Wait
- Morayo’s Mountain 16: One More Cycle
- Morayo’s Mountain 17: Back to the Doctors
- Morayo’s Mountain 18: We’re going to beat this thing
- Morayo’s Mountain 19: Live to fight another day
- Morayo’s Mountain 20: Nightmare Mother-In-Law
- Morayo’s Mountain 21: Baby Dreaming
- Morayo’s Mountain 22: Those Swimmers are Mine
- Morayo’s Mountain 23: What ever happened to Karma?
- Morayo’s Mountain 24: The Year of the BFP
- Morayo’s Mountain 25: Not ready for motherhood after all!
- Morayo’s Mountain 26: Happy Little Bunny
- Morayo’s Mountain 27: Mothers Day Blues
- Morayo’s Mountain 28: It only takes one
- Morayo’s Mountain 29: Of Sperm…and Wine
- Morayo’s Mountain 30: Up and Down
- Morayo’s Mountain 31: Evil Witch
- Morayo’s Mountain 32: The Angels are telling me something
- Morayo’s Mountain 33: Start Date
- Morayo’s Mountain 34: I can’t do this
- Morayo’s Mountain 35: Seriously?!
- Morayo’s Mountain 36: Panic Attack
- Morayo’s Mountain 37: No attachment
- Morayo’s Mountain 38: Rollercoaster
- Morayo’s Mountain 39: Broken
- Morayo’s Mountain 40: Holiday BFP
- Morayo’s Mountain 41: I need a hug
- Morayo’s Mountain 42: Light at the end of the tunnel
- Morayo’s Mountain 43: I don’t need Anti-Depressants
- Morayo’s Mountain 44: A New Year
- Morayo’s Mountain 45: I just have a feeling
- Morayo’s Mountain 46: Seven Years
- Morayo’s Mountain 47: We can’t afford it on our own
- Morayo’s Mountain 48: The Loan