Morayo’s Mountain 30: Up and Down!

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April 23rd, 2010

Just got back from our appointment, and it actually wasn’t too bad. I had a blood test to test my egg reserves. If that is okay (we get the results in 3 or 4 weeks), then we are going for ICSI (Babs’ sperm morphology is too low for regular IVF).

They went through both our medical history, and she told me to throw away my temperature charts, but keep going with OPK’s if I wanted. I’m not quite sure what to even make of that!

When I asked how long it will all take, she said, providing my blood test comes back with a level of 6 or over, then we should be starting around the end of the year.

I don’t know why, we were told everything we were expecting to hear, but all I wanted to do was cry!! I think it was just a build up of all the emotions

I’m feeling every possible feeling under the sun. Excited we are moving forward, and so so scared about what we have to go through. I’m also really nervous about my egg quality test.

But they were all so lovely at the clinic. There were about a million photos of babies, but that just made me want to cry more!

Fingers crossed everyone that the blood test comes back ok!!

I was supposed to have lunch with a few girlfriends, but that has been cancelled. So I’m off to meet up my Mum and sister at a new coffee shop that just opened in their estate, and afterwards, make a special dinner for my Babs!

 

March 24th, 2010

Today was such a strange, strange day…

Oddly and strangely enough, my Mum didn’t seem that interested in what is going on with Babs and I. It’s so strange, because I thought she would want every single detail. All I wanted was a hug, and didn’t get that either. She seemed more interested in talking about the ongoing renovation at their house. It was my sister who managed to ask the right questions, and offer some support. But the harm was already done. I ended up not staying long, and came back home, and had a big cry…because of my mum’s reaction, because I am not pregnant, because we need ICSI, because of everything!!! And the cry helped. I gave myself a good talking too, did a bit of housework, made a lemon and chocolate tart, and spent the afternoon in the garden, with a good book and a sweating glass of cold beer…yes!!!

Babs is feeling much the same as me. Very up and down. He’s excited it is moving forward, scared of what we have to face, and sad that we have to face it. But we are staying positive through it all. We have a plan to save up for at least 2 cycles, in the event that round one doesn’t work. I just feel better knowing that this won’t have to be our one and only shot at it. I need a back up plan, otherwise I will drive myself crazy!!!

 

April 25th, 2010

I’m in much better spirits today!

It’s so weird though. I can’t think of anything apart from our upcoming ICSI, but at least I can do it without crying now. And I know Babs is the same, because every now and again, he’ll say something about it from apparently nowhere!

I’m not sure how I am going to get through the time it will take to start the cycle. It seems like forever. But we have to be ready financially…

 

April 26th, 2010

Was very, very moody today!

Just want to be left alone, with maybe a cup of hot chocolate, and a succulent cream cake.

If Babs says one more time “You’re quiet, what’s up” I think I may kill him!!

Feels like PMT, but it is a bit early for it.

Ah well!

 

April 30th, 2010

Well, I am in the 1WW! I have every possible symptom possible, and my chart looks sooooo pretty!! But I am not going to start getting hopeful. I know with the male factor infertility that a natural BFP is almost impossible, and I am refusing to let the evil witch play head games with me!

I’ve had a week without my pregnant manager. She’s been off sick for a week, with Braxton Hicks. I thought they lasted right through third trimester, so maybe she won’t be back at all!!! LOL! One can hope, right?

But best of all, it is now the weekend!!! Bliss! I’m going to enjoy every minute of it (apart from those spent nursing my hangover! 😉 )

 

My name is Morayo. I’m a TTC Warrior…and I’m far too stubborn to give up.

 

Catch up on Morayo’s story here:

  1. Morayo’s Mountain 1: TTC Warrior
  2. Morayo’s Mountain 2: Soul Mate
  3. Morayo’s Mountain 3: Grateful for the little things
  4. Morayo’s Mountain 4: Family Secret
  5. Morayo’s Mountain 5: Fed Up
  6. Morayo’s Mountain 6: The Weekend
  7. Morayos’ Mountain 7: Missing Period
  8. Morayo’s Mountain 8: A Problem Shared
  9. Morayo’s Mountain 9: Insemination Cups
  10. Morayo’s Mountain 10: Obsessed
  11. Morayo’s Mountain 11: Botched Cycle
  12. Morayo’s Mountain 12: Psych Myself
  13. Morayo’s Mountain 13: Broody
  14. Morayo’s Mountain 14: Confused and Confuddled
  15. Morayo’s Mountain 15: Another Two Week Wait
  16. Morayo’s Mountain 16: One More Cycle
  17. Morayo’s Mountain 17: Back to the Doctors
  18. Morayo’s Mountain 18: We’re going to beat this thing
  19. Morayo’s Mountain 19: Live to fight another day
  20. Morayo’s Mountain 20: Nightmare Mother-In-Law
  21. Morayo’s Mountain 21: Baby Dreaming
  22. Morayo’s Mountain 22: Those Swimmers are Mine
  23. Morayo’s Mountain 23: What ever happened to Karma?
  24. Morayo’s Mountain 24: The Year of the BFP
  25. Morayo’s Mountain 25: Not ready for motherhood after all!
  26. Morayo’s Mountain 26: Happy Little Bunny
  27. Morayo’s Mountain 27: Mothers Day Blues
  28. Morayo’s Mountain 28: It only takes one
  29. Morayo’s Mountain 29: Of Sperm…and Wine

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