December 21st, 2008
What a wonder rest and relaxation can do. Just about a week into us deciding not to worry about our sexual issues, it appears my husband’s libido has returned. I guess the maca root has started to kick in!!
Babs is still keeping his sperm to himself, but the good thing is that he is able to get an erection easily, and I’m hopeful that this ejaculation wahala will be over in a matter of time. So excited. It’s the first time in about two years he actually initiated sex on his own, and not because the therapist insisted (part of our treatment plan had been to take turns initiating sex).
If this is what happens after a week, I wonder what he will be like within two weeks…three weeks…or even a month!
When our problem had worsened (i.e. when it wasn’t just an ejaculation problem, but an inability to even get an erection), we had been prescribed Viagra. But we knew that wasn’t really the problem. He had simply just gone off sex. It was so ironic, as I always thought it was supposed to be the wife who complained of tiredness and headaches at bedtime! What a rude shock it had been to be the reverse. But I’m now hopeful for better days ahead, and am actually looking forward to the Christmas holiday, when we’ll get to stay in bed the whole day. I’m really hopeful!
December 28th, 2008
A week has gone by since my last post, and it has been…well…a mixed bag.
Sexually, it has been everything I hoped for…well, except for the absent ejaculation. Babs’ libido is almost as roaring as it used to be, and we found ourselves having sex more times than we have in the last 2 years…combined! It didn’t feel mechanical or anything like that…but just as spontaneous as it used to be. He’s still not ejaculating yet, but I’m hopeful that it’s only a matter of time…hopefully. But the good news is that he has agreed that if it still isn’t happening in a couple of months, then he will go to the doctors with me, and fight for IUI or something. I’m feeling so positive about 2009!
Now on to the down side of the holidays. Babs comes from a very large family, and my family, though not anywhere as large, consists of a lot of very FERTILE people! And with all the inevitable family gatherings the holidays brings, being around children, babies, and pregnant women is inevitable.
It was rough…very rough. But we made it through somehow. This break reminded me that Babs and I are a team, and we must fight this battle together. As long as we can resolve Babs’s issue, God on our side, getting pregnant should only be a matter of time.
January 4th, 2009
Happy New Year!
So, I have a new growing frustration. And truly, this man is really frustrating me!
If I was the one that had an issue, trust me when I say that I wouldn’t rest until I found a solution. I would be trying every alternative therapy known to man. But unfortunately, Babs is more laid back about things, and is always convinced they will always just sort themselves out over time! That has always been one of the major issues I have with him. I am the most impatient person in the world, and I really don’t think he gets how much this is killing me.
The good news is that, a few days ago, we were able to get him to ejaculate a very small quantity. Huge progress, as it means something in his head is finally unlocking! But, and that’s a big BUT, it wasn’t achieved through sex, but other stimulation. I guess we’ll get there eventually.
January 19th, 2009
In the last two weeks since my last entry, we seem to have suffered a sharp decline. He is ejaculating more, but has refused to try conventional sex. I guess he feels the pressure to also ejaculate this way, and is worried it might not happen. Every time I suggest it, he finds an excuse. I know he is nervous in case nothing happens, but how is anything supposed to happen unless he tries.
2009 hasn’t gotten off to a great start…or maybe I should just be grateful for the little things?
Whatever the case…
My name is Morayo. I’m a TTC Warrior…and I’m far too stubborn to give up.
Catch up on Morayo’s story here: