Morayo’s Mountain 23: What ever happened to Karma?

1
1093

December 11th, 2009

Babs had his appointment today. It wasn’t at the fertility clinic like we thought, but with a Urologist, as a follow-up appointment about his problems ejaculating. As we already knew, he was told surgery won’t help, and we need start fertility treatment!!!! Something we already knew! What a waste of time and money!!!

One good thing was the guy gave us a stack of syringes to use, as well as some more insemination cups. He admitted it might not make any difference, but said sometimes trying something new is all it takes!!

Anyway!

It looks like I am having a late ovulation this month, as no positive OPK yet, so even more time to get shagging!!

You can tell I’m excited…NOT!

 

December 14th, 2009

I started the day officially in the 2WW…except that I’ve got no hope this month. The syringes were less than successful. We should have had a practice run on a less important day, than when I was actually ovulating!!

Ah well!

To make matters worse, the bloody witch is on her way! How is that even possible?! It’s way way too early for that!

I should have recognized the signs yesterday. I was really tired and irritable, and I woke up this morning with sore boobs. Now, I have been bleeding on and off, and have got serious AF cramps.

ARGH! Stupid body. Wish I knew what it was playing at.

 

December 15th, 2009

This month isn’t going well at all.

I got pulled into a small office by my Line Manager today, so she could tell me she is pregnant, and will be telling the team tomorrow. Her first month of trying. Honeymoon baby. Life is sooooo bloody unfair.

To think that as I confided in her last week, she was actually already 11 weeks pregnant!!! I feel so stupid.

I know this is just me being mean and petty, but what ever happened to Karma??! My Line Manager had an affair with her husband when he was married to someone else, and that wife was pregnant. He walked out on his wife when their baby was two weeks old, to be with her. Yet, she gets her baby as soon as she starts trying, while Babs and I, who have done everything right, have to fight and struggle to get ours.

I haven’t stopped crying since I got home. It must be PMS. I feel soooo hormonal and emotional. Much more than normal.

 

December 16th, 2009

I’m no better today. I was doing okay during the official announcement, until my boss said “My body is as efficient as my team. First month trying worked”. I know it wasn’t meant to be horrible, and that I am being overly sensitive, but I just felt like she was saying it is something we have some control over. When in truth, she was just really bloody lucky!

My boobs are still really sore, and I’m still spotting, so hopefully AF will show up and I might feel better then.

I really need a hug, and Babs is away tonight so I am home alone.

By evening, AF had still not showed, and I actually started having ideas. Could the spotting be…implantation? I doubt it though. I started too early to be anything more special. I was only 3DPO when it started, and I’ve Googled non-stop, to make sure it wasn’t anything else. My temp was at 98.04 this morning, which is higher than yesterday. I guess I’ll play the waiting game now…

 

December 17th, 2009

I have such wonderful friends! They knew I have been struggling at work this week, so they picked me up after work, and took me out for drinks! I could only drink Diet Coke, because I had a long drive all the way back to Ikeja, but just having people who care around me was enough. We had a great time and laughed lots.

Tomorrow is our office Christmas party. The office closes at 12, and all the teams will go out together for lunch, before everyone meets up somewhere. I’m not looking forward to going out with my team. I’ve got the pregnant Line Manager, who is going to be as much a Mum-zilla as she was a Bride-zilla, and one who has a four week old baby, currently on maternity leave. No prizes for guessing what they will be talking about non-stop!

On the plus side, I have a great new dress, industrial underwear that goes from under my bra to my knees, which makes me look super skinny!

Oooh, a new symptom for the day. Dizzy spells. I even had two. I’m not sure what that was about, but with the temp drop it probably isn’t a symptom!! I’m actually considering getting soooooo drunk tomorrow, sp I should probably stop symptom spotting until after the weekend!

The beat goes on!

 

My name is Morayo. I’m a TTC Warrior…and I’m far too stubborn to give up.

Catch up on Morayo’s story here:

  1. Morayo’s Mountain 1: TTC Warrior
  2. Morayo’s Mountain 2: Soul Mate
  3. Morayo’s Mountain 3: Grateful for the little things
  4. Morayo’s Mountain 4: Family Secret
  5. Morayo’s Mountain 5: Fed Up
  6. Morayo’s Mountain 6: The Weekend
  7. Morayos’ Mountain 7: Missing Period
  8. Morayo’s Mountain 8: A Problem Shared
  9. Morayo’s Mountain 9: Insemination Cups
  10. Morayo’s Mountain 10: Obsessed
  11. Morayo’s Mountain 11: Botched Cycle
  12. Morayo’s Mountain 12: Psych Myself
  13. Morayo’s Mountain 13: Broody
  14. Morayo’s Mountain 14: Confused and Confuddled
  15. Morayo’s Mountain 15: Another Two Week Wait
  16. Morayo’s Mountain 16: One More Cycle
  17. Morayo’s Mountain 17: Back to the Doctors
  18. Morayo’s Mountain 18: We’re going to beat this thing
  19. Morayo’s Mountain 19: Live to fight another day
  20. Morayo’s Mountain 20: Nightmare Mother-In-Law
  21. Morayo’s Mountain 21: Baby Dreaming
  22. Morayo’s Mountain 22: Those Swimmers are Mine

1+

1 COMMENT

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here