Morayo’s Mountain 10: Obsessed!

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May 6th, 2009

I’ve been getting all sorts of strange aches and twinges today! My head knows that they aren’t anything more than overdoing the gardening at the weekend, not sitting properly at work, or sleeping awkward last night. But it is soooo hard not to make them symptoms!!!

Also, I’ve been having loads of problems with my asthma today, which is really strange. I only suffer it extremely occasionally, when my period is a day or two away, but it isn’t due for a few more days, and there is nothing else to blame it on. I know my mum had hers very badly when she was pregnant with me. Gosh…I’m going to drive myself insane.

Babs and I are going away next week for a few days, so I won’t be testing early! He came up with the idea for a getaway, to get our minds of this 2-week wait! We’re off to the Gambia. Hopefully we’ll stay busy, and I won’t have time to symptom spot every minute of the day!

 

May 8th, 2009

I can’t believe how quickly one can become symptom obsessed!!!

I’m still having strange aches and pains. They weren’t there most of today, but they are back now. I had an hour, or so, of nausea yesterday afternoon too. I haven’t had any this afternoon, but have a tiny little bit now…but possibly only because I am focusing on it. And my asthma is still getting worse. I even had to increase the dosage of my prevantative inhaler. For the first time in 14 years!!!

I was joking with Babs about the possibility of us having twins, but now I am not so sure it is out of the question!!! He has twins in his family, and I have twins in my family. And if these are symptoms, then they are very strong for the DPO.

I was going to wait until we’re back from holiday before testing, but I don’t think I am going to have the willpower to wait now. At least if I get a BFN, I can stop symptom spotting and enjoy the rest of the time away. I think…

Gosh, I really thought the struggles of the last three years have been hard, but this is just as bad, if not worse, because it is so concentrated!!!!

I want to know now. I don’t want to wait any more!!!

 

May 9th, 2009

So I couldn’t wait any more. Whilst doing my grocery shopping, I bought a First Response Early Test for tomorrow. It says you can use 6 days early, which is what I will be. I feel soooo restless now. I’m really not sure I am prepared for either result!!

As far as symptoms go, I have had none today. I haven’t felt any aches, pains, twinges or sickness. That said, I haven’t been awake long enough to experience anything much. I woke up at 9 o’clock, went to the grocery store by 10, and was back in bed at 12, and didn’t wake up until 3pm. At this rate, I probably won’t sleep tonight now!

 

May 10th, 2009

As expected, I got a BFN! I actually felt quite okay looking at it. I no longer have any symptoms, and I don’t feel different in any way. I really don’t think this will be our month. At least the half a box of insemination cups left won’t go to waste!!

I will try and hold off testing again, until we get back from holiday. We are back on Friday night, and my period is due on Saturday. Babs has been on the Internet, looking at all the things we can do in the Gambia. There is a spa in our hotel, and he has offered me some treatments in exchange for allowing him to take his golf clubs and go out for an afternoon. Obviously, I resisted for a while, just to make him feel like I wasn’t getting that great a deal!! Poor men, they don’t have a clue sometimes! LOL!

 

May 15th, 2009

We’re back!!!

We had such an amazing time! Our hotel was amazing! There were little chalets hoisted on poles above the lagoon, which all interlinked to a gorgeous beach! Pure white sand and clear blue water kind of beach. It was wonderful.

Somehow, we were able to get our minds of TTC, and just had a lovely time, bonding and reconnecting. I didn’t test while I was away. I just had a feeling it would be a BFN, and preferred having the tiny bit of hope that comes without knowing for sure!! We had such an amazing time away! We didn’t do half of the things we thought we would, but it was sooooo relaxing…and I feel like I could take on the world now!!

I tested this morning, and it is a BFN for us this month. My period is due tomorrow, so it will be onto the next cycle after that.

I knew the chances of it working the first time were low, but I still feel a bit hurt and disappointed. Babs has been awesome though. He came home with enough chocolate to last me the rest of the year, and also got me some lovely plants for my bright orange pots! He doesn’t care too much for my gardening, but has let me have want I want, in an effort to cheer me up. I have the best husband ever!!!

So, on to the next one I guess!

 

My name is Morayo. I’m a TTC Warrior…and I’m far too stubborn to give up.

 

Catch up on Morayo’s story here:

  1. Morayo’s Mountain 1: TTC Warrior
  2. Morayo’s Mountain 2: Soul Mate
  3. Morayo’s Mountain 3: Grateful for the little things
  4. Morayo’s Mountain 4: Family Secret
  5. Morayo’s Mountain 5: Fed Up
  6. Morayo’s Mountain 6: The Weekend
  7. Morayos’ Mountain 7: Missing Period
  8. Morayo’s Mountain 8: A Problem Shared
  9. Morayo’s Mountain 9: Insemination Cups

 

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