Mom Stereotypes That Just Don’t Cut It

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I read one piece recently, where a mom narrated an incidence where she was asked to state what she does for a living, and she had said, she is a Mom.

Of course, the record taker preferred not to write that on the official document. He kept probing her about her academic qualification and ended up writing what she studied in school on the form, rather than what she lives to do.

She wasn’t happy about that, and prepared a list of things she does as a mom, and with the help of high sounding English word, when next she was asked that question, she gave an answer that the record taker could do nothing else but take it. You need a dictionary to fully understand what she said but it was one that encompasses most of her duties as a mother. I wish I could get the material, but unfortunately I can’t, so you will just have to accept my report.

That is just so like the box we put moms into. It’s almost like, if she is just a mom, she is so simple minded that she couldn’t possibly do anything much with her life, amongst other things that come to mind. However, for every mom, whether we do it well or very badly, how the future generation turns out rests so much more on our shoulders than anyone else.

While labels are necessary for identification, these labels, boxes into which moms are put just do us no favours at all, at least not all us. Moms are different human beings, which means, we come with our unique quirks and what to and what not to do, and one single labels, categorisation, will not fit every one of us.

Moms LOVE to cook:

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Someone sent one of these random message titled, “Men are now going for our house girls rather than our daughters.” That piece narrated how we women have left the job of training our daughters the fine art of being a good wife, who enjoys cooking, cleaning, taking care of home and husband. Rather, we teach our house-girls these skills and they end up being more marriageable than our daughters, whom we have pampered and told to face her studies.

This message generated a lot of comments. Some affirmed it and some were like, girls aren’t just made to take care of the home and husbands. They are individuals in their own right and have same rights to pursue their dreams.

I’m with the second group and we all agreed that, true, girls need to be trained in taking care of the house and themselves, but then, boys need same training. And we shouldn’t train our girls with marriage in mind. It should be for their own good and self-independence.

Which brings me to the issue of cooking; not all women love to cook. I used to like cooking a lot in the past. It was therapeutic for me. I could do it mindlessly and it would still turn out well. Nowadays, I can’t get out of the kitchen fast enough. .

Nowadays, I look for means to provide nutrition without spending too much time by the stove. I only ever enjoy food well when someone else cooks it or I have all these unhealthy cravings for cakes littered with nuts, like I do now; no commercially sold bakery does that, at least none that I know, or a craving for homemade oatmeal and raisin cookies.

Thankfully, my husband and kids eat whatever I put in front of them, although they don’t hold back the sharp edge of their tongues when it tastes less than desired. But that doesn’t matter, as long as they are fed. Shikena

Meanwhile, I know moms who enjoy cooking. For them, the larger the number of people eating, the better. Some have turned it into a business and their food tastes awesome. Good for them. Maybe, I will go through another phase where I will enjoy making different dishes at a go, but for now, nagode.

Moms are crafting goddesses

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Has anyone ever felt that children’s home work these days is meant for the parents and not the children?

Well, I have had cause to feel like that several times. More recently this weekend, as my twins were given the task of building a paper mache lizard.

My kids wanted me to buy the block starch that we will then make with hot water, but since we couldn’t get that around my end, we settled on cold water starch. All my old newspapers, which I had been saving for posterity sake, have all gone into this project. And I tell you, I’m almost as clueless about how to go about this as much as they are. At least, their uncle showed them how in school, I can’t remember, except, I ask Google. Sorry, but it doesn’t come to me naturally.  

I enjoy arts but I’m not gifted in that area.

Moms are always judging each other’s parenting

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While I’m not saying this is not true, but most moms are too tired parenting their own children, to be so concerned with worrying about how one woman is supposedly parenting her own children badly or so well, they make us cry or even ask for hints.

The truth is, parenting is not a career most moms and even dads learn beforehand. True, we see examples but essentially, we learn on the job. We find out for ourselves, what works and continue and move on from the things that do not work.

Moms are bossy

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This is so true, but does it cut it? Moms are not bossy, because they want to…they are forced to.  Being bossy, issuing commands are the only ways to wipe everyone into shape and I mean everyone, including Mr. Husband.

Moms spend too much money

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I will tell you a story that someone shared with me. She told me how a man had some money on him and wanted to treat his wife. So, he took her shopping. What he later discovered was that his wife didn’t buy anything for herself, which she alone used. No, she bought things for the house, for their children and that was it.

As they were leaving, his wife asked him if he didn’t want to anything for himself and encouraged him to get some things. He gave in and bought things for himself, things only he would use.

Do you see the difference now? Moms spend a lot of money, true, but they are all spent on things that are important to her families. It takes a lot of money to take care of your family. That is where the money goes.

So, before you put a label on it, just think it doesn’t work for all mommas.

Rather than seek to put us all in a box, why not celebrate our differences?

 

 

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Photo credits:

1. http://oaklandvoices.us/

2. http://mothersdaygiftreviews.com/

3. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/

4. http://7bigspoons.com/ 

5. http://www.all4women.co.za/

6. http://pad2.whstatic.com/

 

 

 

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