Meet your baby!

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Nothing quite prepares you for it. Especially for first-time Moms, this is one of the most surreal experiences ever. In my own case, from as early as my 25th week, I had pictures from my 3D scans, which showed my beautiful girls so clearly, I almost felt like I knew them already. And in the weeks leading to my delivery, I watched possible every episode of  One born every minute, and other similar documentaries, just to get a feel of what that day would be like.

I was scheduled for a c-section for a number of reasons (the girls were breech and my placenta was lying low), so my doctor and I picked a date (when I would have hit exactly 37 weeks) for the girls to make their grand entrance. On that day, I got to the hospital at 6.30am, went through all the routine processes, and generally thought I was as ready as could be. The first wave of nervousness hit me as I lay on the theatre bed. I couldn’t see what was happening past the screen, but my heart was racing as I contemplated all the “what ifs”. All the horror stories from the one-too-many episodes of child birth reality TV flooded my head, and I felt myself beginning to panic. The additional helplessness of not being able to feel anything from the waist down (thanks to the spinal block) didn’t help matters either. Then I heard the loud cry of my first daughter, and I felt my heart literally burst with relief. I strained to catch a glimpse of her, but before I knew it, her sister was out. She didn’t make a sound at first, and just as I was beginning to panic, there it was…a loud and strong cry. Then they brought these two beautiful girls to me…..and it felt like I was having an out-of-body experience. I just could not comprehend it. I was really a Mom? These girls were really mine? My brain just couldn’t grasp it. Soon, I was wheeled to my room to rest, while they cleaned up the girls, and in-between the heavy medication and the general excitement, I drifted in and out of sleep. The girls were soon brought back to my room when I was fully awake, and when I held them this time, it was crystal clear to me. These were my precious angels. The gifts I had prayed so long and hard for….it was at that moment that I was overwhelmed by this love I could not describe… second to none I had felt before. It was at that moment that we truly bonded, and I realised that yes, I was now a Mom!

Actual picture of my girls being born!
Actual picture of my girls being born!
Actual picture of my girls being born!
Actual picture of my girls being born!

But everyone’s story is different. A close friend of mine was fully into her labour when her epidural suddenly wore off. The raw pain tore into her brain like a bolt of lightening! And it was too late for any more to be administered, as she was already fully dilated. So she she felt every single push and pull. By the time her baby was delivered, she was drained and exhausted, and couldn’t muster the energy to carry the child. Her hands were so shaky that she felt she would drop the baby. She told me afterwards how she had been told that “when the baby comes out, you won’t remember the pain!”, and felt like such a failure for still being in too much pain to hold her baby. But, as was the case with me, after she had rested, nobody could pull her daughter out of her arms.

We are made to believe it will be love at first sight…and for a lot of Moms, it is. For other Moms, sometimes the strain, trauma, or even shock could make the experience seem so surreal at first. But more often than not, whether the very second you clap your eyes on your child, or maybe a few hours later, that overpowering love you hear about does kick in.

Before I continue, let me take a moment to describe that love. It envelopes you from head to toe…and you find that you can’t take your eyes off this wonderful creature. You watch the baby’s every movement…every breath the baby takes, every little movement of the finger…everything! You can’t get enough of looking at the baby’s face, inhaling the baby’s scent, having your finger gripped by those little hands…And for those that are able to breastfeed, when your baby is latched on and taking its very nourishment directly from you, the bond is indescribable. My love for my own Mom deepened after this experience, because I finally understood her love for me. It no longer felt annoying and stifling. I finally understood what a Mother’s love could be!

But as deep as the love might be, don’t feel guilty about wanting to just close your eyes and rest. Not only have you just gone through 9 months of carrying this/these full blown human being(s), you have had to physically birth them as well. No be small something oh! For those that argue that women who have c-sections face comparatively less trauma, whilst the process might be nowhere near as difficult and painful as having to labour and push out babies, their own trauma starts the minute the very minute the painkillers wear off. Whether by the best Ob/Gyn in Johns Hopkins or the Doctor in Mushin, no matter how delicate the incision, you are bound to be in considerable pain. I almost became an addict to the heavy medication, because the first few days post delivery, that pain was real!!!! Do not feel guilty about resting as much as you can, especially if you are still in the hospital. You have many many months of sleepless nights ahead of you, so it’s best for you to milk it as best as you can!

However, if you are one of those women who find it difficult to emotionally connect with your baby, days, and even weeks later, be assured that this is not entirely uncommon. Whether because of transferred aggression (sometimes precipitated by rape, bad breakups, infidelity, financial frustration), or indeed any other reason, the important thing is to realise that the baby is innocent in all of it, and not directly responsible for your woes. In these cases, the theory of love being a decision couldn’t be more apt, as you have to mentally decide to love this child. Unless you are giving the child away for adoption, loving it is your cardinal obligation as a Mother.

For Daddys, it might sometimes take a little longer to fall in love. Yes, they felt the kicks and saw the scans, but it often doesn’t become a true reality until they are holding that child in their arms. If your partner is taking a little longer to warm up to the baby, be patient with him. Odds are high that he feels clueless and shell shocked. Give him time, and he’ll come around.

So good luck…and get ready for the awesome, roller coaster months, and even years ahead!!!!!

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Picture Credits

  1. http://imgkid.com
  2. http://madamenoire.com
  3. Nicole’s Picture Library 🙂

16 COMMENTS

  1. Dear God I am tapping into this blessing of two beautiful girls too.  Please do it for your daughter. I totally know what you mean about the pain!!!! My friend from last week’s baby shower couldn’t have epidural because she dilated fasted than expected. She told how the pain she felt while pushing them out she won’t even wish it on her worst enemy she is still very tired and still in pain as of when I left her yesterday. She also milking all the help she is getting in the hospital and resting.

  2. @adaoraa, mehhhhn, I can’t even imagine that pain oh!!! The morning I had the girls, I actually felt some pain and thought I was contracting. But when I was connected to the machine, I was told I wasn’t contracting at all. So if I was feeling like that for zero contractions, I can only imagine what proper labour (with no epidural) is like!!! Please give your friend a huge hug from me oh. E no easy!

    AMEN, @ldike! He most surely will. I also worried before. I thought I would be too impatient with my kids. Trust me, you’ll do just fine :hugs:

  3. Can’t wait to experience holding my own baby! Or babies..twin annointing…but Jesus be a fence with this pains o…all about the end picture right?

    • LOL! He will surely be a fence and give you the strength of a Hebrew woman :hugs:. And by HIS grace, those twins (or triplets 😉 ) are on their way soonest!!!

  4. Going back memory lane,is sends cold shivers down my spines. Indeed of all things created by God women are very special species, wonderfully made. moms are worth celebrating.

    Just like yesterday, I remember vividly the experience of my baby’s birth. Before her birth I was bereaved of a dear one and hurting so much as I count my loss, it did more harm than good to my health condition as my BP was scary and I suffered loss of appetite, Cos of fear of the pains of labour and my health condition I had discussions with my doctor that I would like to have an elective CS or an epidural but he would hear non of that.

    However,on that day God compensated me for my loss, the only labour sign I had was spotting of blood, when I went to the hospital I was told it was labour sign but I felt no contraction as I often heard of, the pains I felt was when I was to do the pushing OMG! Mothers are worth celebrating. After the third push my angel was out. At that moment I felt another me was birthed and the pains never mattered to me as I felt a replacement for my loss. It was like I won a treasured trophy. Most times when I see my baby I remember the challenges of other women trying to conceive and I pray for them to experience the joy of motherhood
    cos I have been there though briefly.

    Honestly, motherhood rocks.

    • Wow! God bless you for this, Genny! You are indeed blessed! Many women pray for what you had. But you’re so correct, the experience of birthing your own child is one nobody can really explain. That is why I pray from the very bottom of my heart that everyone here gets to experience it soon. It is truly one of the best things that can ever happen to one :heart:

  5. @Nicole…I tap into these blessings o…cent wait to hold my baby or babies..
    it’s funny but I had names for them already….if I feel so much love for my friends babies….i can.only imagine how I will feel when I have mine….as per the pain….I believe that God’s grace is more than sufficient for us all. God bless u all.

  6. I can relate to the pains after CSection. Arrrgh no b beans. I remember one night i was sleeping in the sitting room (4 days after delivery) because of heat and my baby was in the room with my aunt. We were all asleep when she started crying. I forgot i just had surgery and jumped up to quickly attend to her…chai i cnt xplain what happened to me afterwards. I’m just grateful i was nt sewn all over again but i had swelling on my incision that took months to go down. It s almost a yr nw but sometimes i still feel mild pains where i ws incised esp when i wear clothes that rest on the incised part. Kudos to all moms,ones that had CS or normal delivery. We rock!!!

  7. I pray for such an experience to birth a live baby and nurse her. I can’t wait to be called a mother and for people to stop calling me Iyawo. Haba! Still believing God because he makes all things beautiful in his time

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