I ask my wife to marry me everyday. Or sometimes I thank her for marrying me. Every single day, I make sure that my wife knows that I love being married to her. It has been almost ten years since our first date, we’ve been married for over six years and I plan to let her know every day for the rest of my life that I want her to be my wife.
Why do I do this? Well, for one, I learned this from my father. He very often asks my mother if she will marry him, though I’m not sure if he does it every single day. Another reason that I’ve committed myself to do this every day is that I want to make sure that my wife always knows that she is needed, wanted, cherished and loved. In addition, I am grateful to her for all of the joy she brings into my life and I want her to always feel that gratitude.
Of course there are many other ways that I could express these feelings. But, what I really like about this approach is that it requires two very important things for the health of any relationship: effort and commitment. I have committed to making the effort to ask her every day for the rest of my life.
A truly deep and meaningful relationship requires effort, as does the cultivation of anything of value. If you want a garden you have to spend time watering and nurturing the plants in it. If you want to learn a skill, you must practice it, observe your results and make adjustments along the way.
Not all effort has to be hard, however. There is, what I like to call “fun effort”. For example, every morning I do yoga. It certainly requires effort, but I enjoy it very much. Yes, sometimes I feel lazy to get going, but I never regret the effort and it is always worth it. This is “fun effort”.
Another example is that I recently began to take cold showers. I have always loved steaming hot showers. Not long ago, I decided to take an icy cold shower, just to see if I could do it. At first it was a struggle, and I felt like I was hyperventilating. But after a few minutes my body got over the initial shock, I calmed down and it became invigorating. Today, I prefer to take cold showers. During and after a cold shower I feel stronger, healthier and more refreshed. While it still sometimes requires willpower to keep it on cold, the effort needed to take a cold shower is always worth it to me.
Asking my wife to marry me everyday is fun effort. I enjoy seeing the smile on her face and I love how she will sometimes pretend that she isn’t flattered! My favorite is when she is busy doing something else, I ask her to marry me, and she answers absent-mindedly with a “sure”, “ok”, “yeah, fine,” or “why not”. It is also a powerful way to instantly improve both of our moods.
The more I ask her, the more I want to ask her. Most importantly, I know that it makes her feel loved, and ultimately that is why I do it.