Madam, What Are You Waiting For??!


This is the question I have had cause to ask a good number of people I know, who have been trying to conceive for a while, and just seem to be content with twiddling their fingers, and hoping for the best. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that every TTC woman needs to seek alternative treatment, or that patience doesn’t pay off, because the truth is that a lot of TTC women will get pregnant eventually, as long as they have no physiological problems, and they are doing everything else right (having sex at the right time, taking their vitamins, eating right, etc.). No, this article wasn’t written with these women in mind.

It is the women who have clear obstacles staring them in the face, but who choose to look the other way, with the expectation that a BFP will magically drop in their laps, that I am speaking to today. And there are quite a few of these women, some of whom I have highlighted subsequently:


1. The PCOS Lady

A good number of PCOS ladies are aware they have the condition, even before they actively start trying to conceive. When your periods are few and far between, it is a clear indicator that something isn’t quite right. On the other hand, a number of other women, like myself, don’t find out that we have it until we had start the TTC journey. But if I were more observant, I should have known that my hairy tendency, as well as sudden weight gain, were things to take note of. And this goes for a lot of us.

Okay then, fine! You didn’t know before, but now you know. But instead of going to see a good Gynaecologist, and getting on a treatment plan right away, you prefer to sit at home and continue trying. Many of such ladies don’t even bother getting on some form of diet or fitness program. Instead, they choose to sit at home, eating rice and bread, and expecting a miracle to happen.

Madam, I’m sorry to break it to you…but if you don’t get your act together, you might be waiting for a long, long time! No matter how much sex you have!

PCOS, though a permanent condition, is very easily managed, and with the right plan, conception is very possible. Seeing a doctor in good time could get you closer to your baby. Please, don’t waste any more time!


2. The Blocked Tubes Lady

I really really wish there was a true and trusted remedy for blocked tubes, but I’m afraid that there aren’t any I can happily vouch for. True, there are a myriad of solutions that parade themselves, but only a very small number of women really get any results. So what happens is that you spend lots of money, not to mention valuable years, chasing these pie-in-the-sky remedies, only to end up right back where you started. Sometimes, you might even be worse off, especially if you suffer any of the many side effects these solutions parade.

This might be hard to accept, but the truth is that with blocked tubes, assisted reproduction is almost always the way to go. It might not be music to your ears, but alas, it is the truth. Yes, you might be one of those very women who get their tubes unblocked through these unorthodox means, but if you’re not, just think of the many years you might be wasting.

Note that for partially blocked tubes, the HSG test has been known to flush these clear, so this is an exception. But if you have tried the HSG test, and it didn’t work. It just might be time to move on.


3. The Uterine Fibroids Lady

Okay, it’s true. There are a number of herbal remedies that help manage the fibroid condition. This is true, and I have seen a number of people it has worked for. I know people whose fibroids degenerated enough for there to be nothing seen in subsequent scans, and I have heard of women who have actually birthed their fibroids through their vaginal canal. And even though I have had a myomectomy in the past, I am currently managing my regrown fibroids with some herbal remedies. So, I’m not knocking this option.

However! There is a very large number of women that these remedies will not work for. I know so many women who have spent years and years, drinking all these fantastic concoctions, but which have only served to make their fibroids sit cosy in their uterus, with some even being aggravated enough to grow larger still. A friend of mine got married in her late-20s, and spent the next 10 years running from this Mama to that Baba, drinking and eating everything imaginable. But for where?! The fibroid just sat down, gidi gba! By the time she had the myomectomy, she was already 37. Thankfully, she had a son 2 years after that, but who knows if this child could have come earlier, if she had only just done the needful on time!

Another friend of mine had a consultation some years ago, to remove her fibroids laparoscopically. For me, this method is eating one’s cake and having it, especially as you’re able to remove the fibroids without running the risk of scar tissue and adhesions! The absolute Holy Grail, if you ask me. Well, my friend scoffed at the very thought, and continued chasing shadows, looking for a herbal remedy for her fibroids. None came, and by the time she returned to the clinic, her fibroids had grown too large for laparoscopic surgery, and she had to have open surgery instead.

So please…if you have fibroids, whilst checking out non-surgical solutions, have your eye on the clock, and be true to yourself.


4. The Older Lady

Okay, if you’ve been reading my articles, you know I’m not one of those people who believe that because you are older it automatically means your eggs are condemned. And by older, I mean mid 30s – early 40s. A lot of women I know in this age bracket, are as fertile as rabbits, procreating at the drop of a hat.

HOWEVER, if you are in this age range, and things are not working out the way they should, my sister, abeg try see your doctor sharp sharp! If you have been trying for a maximum of 6 months, and nothing is happening, it’s time to see a Gynaecologist or, preferably, a Fertility Specialist. And this is why I say so.

A 35 year old woman, with some physiological issues, or even suffering from unexplained infertility, can progress to IVF, using her own eggs, in most instances. A 40 year old woman could even do the same…and even a very lucky 45 year old woman too. But if this 35 year old woman, 40 year old woman, 45 year old woman, waits a few more years, she might no longer have this option.

We recently met with a well known Fertility Doctor, who told us the story of a woman who had come to her, a few years ago, at age 40. She and her husband were suffering from unexplained infertility. When IVF was broached, the woman almost hit the roof. She was scandalised by the very mention of that word, insulted the doctor, and left the clinic in a huff. At the time this happened, the woman’s eggs were still viable. Eight years later, when she returned to the doctor, now ready for this IVF, they could no longer use her eggs. They had to go the donor route. Something they might not have had to do if she hadn’t wasted time.

You get my drift?

In conclusion, I am not knocking prayers or miracles. As a child of God myself, who has been on the receiving end of many an inexplicable and uncommon miracle, trust me when I say that I KNOW that our God is a miracle-working One! I do.

BUT, I also believe that, when He throws so many options and lifelines your way, but you choose to ignore them, you only have yourself to blame. It’s like the popular joke of a man stranded on an island, waiting for God to rescue him. He turned back the helicopters and rescue boats that came to fetch him, all because he was waiting for God to reach down from Heaven to rescue him. We all know how that story ended.

So, please don’t turn your back on your own rescue boats. If you have any of the issues I have highlighted, or even another that might be delaying your conception, please see your doctor IMMEDIATELY!

Madam, abeg no waste time oh!!!!!!!!!


Signature 10



Photo Credits




  1. God bless you for this piece. I remember when we had TTCied for 1yr and I told my hubby that we should see a gynae,he refused. I just jejely found myself one and when he saw how serious I was,he joined and it didn’t take us another 2months of trying before we got pregnant.

    I always advice people not to wait just like you rightly pointed out. We can be so religious in this country thinking that it is faithless when you go for assistance. They make you feel like you don’t trust God enough.

    God bless you for this. May you receive more inspirations to write.

  2. Wow Nicole! You totally killed this subject. Whilst I haven’t exactly been twiddling my thumbs, this post just reinforces my decision to vsit the doctor to commence IVF treatment this week. No more procrastination!

    • Yayyy!!! Joyfulmother, that’s great news. If you need more “ginger” during the journey, please keep us updated. Truckloads of babydust coming your way as you start this cycle.

    • I’m so glad to read this hun! So, so glad! Like Kemi said, if you need more “ginger”, you know we got you ;-). Any questions you might have, don’t hesitate to holler hun! :heart:

  3. Hi, this is my first time of commenting on any of your post. I lost a baby in 2014 due to eclampsia at 6months. Last year I had a miscarriage. I have been seeing a gynecologist who put me on Clomid until it was discovered I had uterine adhesions. Had surgery which was successful and started TTC using clomid again, it didn’t work for me so I stopped. Nothing has happened since then and I have not been to the doctor. What can I do next? Kate

    • Hello Kate, it’s nice to hear from you. With the information you have given, you need to go back to your doctor or preferably, a fertility doctor, to check the state of your uterus. And how many clomid cycles have you had so far? How regular is your period and do you know if your ovulate without clomid? These and many more questions will help your doctor determine what next to do. At how many weeks, did you have the miscarriage last year?


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here