Iya Beji 1: A Series of Unfortunate Events!


March 18, 2016

Oh my goodness. This is just too funny!

I’ve been chuckling to myself ever since I left the hospital. In fact, whilst going through the toll gate, I noticed a few other drivers give me curious glances, especially as I was the only one in my car, laughing away.

But it’s just so funny! What’s the name of that series again? A Series of Unfortunate Events! Nothing could describe this situation any better. Because how does one go from a rebound, one-night encounter with an ex-boyfriend, to pregnancy…and now twins?!

Ha! Na wa oh! Just one time and twins…and meanwhile all these aristo girls will be coasting free! Like my mother always says, “Some people fit chop clean mouth. But anoda person go chop, palm oil go full im mouth, face, and even im cloth!”

Isio…you are in big, bigggg trouble!!!

Driving into the compound of the mini-apartment I share with my older sister, the first thing I did was to kick of my shoes and plop myself on the bed. It’s 2pm on a Wednesday, and I should be at work. But after my scan at the hospital, returning to the office wasn’t even an option.

How on earth can I be having twins?!

My phone buzzed with a text from my sister, Voke.

How far? How did it go?

The chuckle fest began again, and I was laughing as I replied her text.

Na two oh!

Just as expected, my phone started ringing immediately.

“Two what?!” she exclaimed. “Please tell me you are joking!”

By this time, I was in hysterics. “I’m not joking! Your sis is expecting twins!”

Voke was not amused. “Isio, can you see now? Can you now see yourself? If you had done what I advised you do a few weeks ago…”

“Ehn ehn, please! Don’t even go there!” I snapped, all humour dissipated. “Having an abortion was never an option, so please don’t even go there!”

“Okay o!” she said with disdain. “What about Pere? You know you have to tell him at some point. Or is that also not an option?”

I hissed. “I want to rest. I’ll see you when you get home,” and with that, I terminated the call.

Pere. The love of my youth.

We met exactly 18 years ago. I was 15, and home on holidays from F.G.G.C Benin. He was 16, and spending Christmas with relatives in my estate in Yaba. We clapped eyes on each other on New Year’s Eve of 1997…and the rest was history. Even after we both returned to school (me to Benin, and him to Nigerian Military School, Zaria), we wrote each other weekly. He was preparing for his JAMB and SSCE examinations that year, but even that didn’t stop our love. He didn’t pass his JAMB that year, and ended up having to retake it with me the following year. Neither of us passed.

In the year 2000, we both had to retake the examination, and thankfully, we both passed and gained admission to the University of Lagos. He was accepted to study Estate Management, while I got in for Civil Engineering. Even though his friends had told him stories of girls changing when they get into University, and succumbing to the JAMBITE rush, we proved them all wrong. We had eyes only for each other, and we were soon labeled the JAMBITE lovebirds. We were inseparable. We would study together just as passionately as we would bond with each other. Pere was my very first love, and to me, no other boys existed.

As the years went along, our love kept on waxing stronger. We remained extremely devoted to each other, and only suffered a snag when I got pregnant by mistake in our 3rd year, and had to face the awful experience of getting a termination. He had accompanied me to the clinic in Ikeja, and had stayed with me through the nasty experience. I hadn’t allowed him touch me for weeks after that, but we soon recovered and our love resumed to the way it used to be.

Then my 4th year came along, and it was time for my Industrial Attachment. I was lucky to get a position in Shell, Lagos, for mine. Pere, unfortunately wasn’t able to go for his own Industrial Attachment that year, as he had failed some pre-requisite courses in his 2nd year, which had set him a year back already.

But it didn’t matter to us. So what, if I was an Intern in Shell and my boyfriend was a Unilag student? We’d been in love for almost 7 years, so nothing could shake us.

But by the time I saw all those fine, handsome, rich Shell boys…oh boy!!! My head started to scarra!




Iya Beji is published every Tuesday & Thursday, 9am 

Where is the Love starts on Monday, February 12, and will be published on Monday, Wednesday & Friday, 9am





  1. Already plugged my phone to the laptop thinking have gotten another story to keep me waiting for Golibe tomorrow. Please January be fast fingers crossed.


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