Ivana’s Diary 11- Jumping The Gun!


“How ever did I think I could get away with such lie?” I asked myself as I heard the loud beep from my laptop signalling that my husband was calling me via skype.
“I know mommy told him…oh gosh! Ivana! What in the world is wrong with you?” I asked myself aloud. “But wait a minute! Atleast, Amaka the fake-ass has packed herself out of the house!” I say as I recall leaving the dining room two hours ago to see Amaka stomping about from the back of the house to her room, with her clothes in tow.
“Oh…leaving so soon?” I smiled as I spoke to her.
“Yes, I have work tomorrow…” She said to me through grit teeth.
“Oh…” I said, parting my lips in a mock sad-expression. “It’s so sad to see you go.”
“Really? Is that how you really feel, Ivana?”
“Oh yes, you have been such a good sport, my mother in-law seems to like you a whole lot seeing that you speak her language.” I smile.
Amaka glared at me icily.
“I hope your period is simply late…” She said.
My mouth flew open as I watched her storm away, walking down the hall and banging the door to her room in her wake.
“What? She doesn’t want me to get pregnant? What is it with this woman?” I asked myself aloud.
Now, holed up in my room and thinking of a miraculous way of getting myself pregnant, my husband suddenly calls.
“Hey babe…” I greet as I put on my headphones.
“Hey sugar…” Nnamdi says.
He doesn’t call me sugar, he’s never called me sugar in our three years of being married and I know that the reason behind the sugar name-calling is because someone must have relayed the news to him.
“How are you?” I smile, pretending that I do not know the reason behind his happy mood.
“How’s the mother of my children?” He asks, hoping that I get the hint.
“How’s the weather?” I asked.
You didn’t tell me anything about the pregnancy, why?” He asked.
“I can’t hear you! What did you say?” I asked, pretending as though I didn’t hear his question.
“The pregnancy! You didn’t tell me about the pregnancy!” He shouted.
“Wha…what are you saying? I can’t hear you babe…oh my gosh, bad internet…” I lament as I fumble with the keys of my laptop.
“Never mind, I just want you to know that I’d be back in Nigeria before the week runs out.” He said. “We’ll celebrate our pregnancy there…”
“What? You’re coming here?” I ask with eyes wide.
“Oh, you heard me now…thank God the internet is getting better.” He said.
“Yea…I mean…sure…” I said, my mind quickly doing a spin as I thought of the reason he wanted to come to Nigeria.
“I have been postponing my trip to see the construction for too long and I figured that I could come home and we could return to Canada together one last time before finally relocating. Good news huh?”
“Yea…good…news….” I stutter.
“I also want to be there when we both go to a good hospital and have the tests done again, just to be doubly sure.” He said.
“Here in Nigeria? No freaking way! There’s no way I’m going to any hospital in Nigeria. I’ll visit a hospital when we get to Canada.”
Nnamdi looked at me through the screen.
“I don’t like the way you reacted about the Nigerian hospitals, we do have good hospitals over there and considering that we’d be living there and raising our kids there we need to prepare ourselves to welcome treatments there.”
“True…I’m sorry….” I said politely.
“Anyway, mom told me about the pregnancy…” He said.
“I’m still bummed that you didn’t tell me first…” He said, sounding hurt.
“Yea…err…I was wondering if I can do a quick dash to Warri this week. I need to see my mother.” I said.
“Your mother? I thought you guys never got along!”
“Well, she’s still my mom…and she hasn’t even seen me since I arrived the country.”
“Okay…but be back before I come to Nigeria…”
I nod and we continue our conversations after which we blow each other goodbye kisses. As soon as I dropped the call, I picked up the phone and dialled my mom’s number.
“Hello…” Her brash voice came through the line.
“Mommy, it’s Ivana.”
“The living one or the dead one?” My mom asked sarcastically. “The Ivana I know has not spoken to her mom since her wedding day and that was three years ago.”
“Stop exaggerating mom, I’m coming to Warri this week….I think I just dug a grave for myself.” I said.
“Ha! That’s not new…you’ve been digging graves for yourself since you were six…” My mom said to me.



Catch up on Ivana’s story here:

  1. Ivana’s Diary 1: This thing called marriage
  2. Ivana’s Diary 2: Hot Dark Chocolate
  3. Ivana’s Diary 3: My Mother
  4. Ivana’s Diary 4: The Return
  5. Ivana’s Diary 5: Murder-In-Law
  6. Ivana’s Diary 6: The Sexomaniac
  7. Ivana’s Diary 7: Mrs. Regret
  8. Ivana’s Diary 8: Monster-In-Law & The High School Sweetheart
  9. Ivana’s Diary 9: Room-mates or a Couple?
  10. Ivana’s Diary 10: Dilemma





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