I was running late and my to-do list (yep, the list is real) for the day had barely been scratched. And times like that are not my best moments. I’m antsy at the best. However, I got even more riled when a woman, and a grandmother at that, with a wave of the hand said there was no big deal in the fact that a woman just gave birth.
Let me start from the beginning. I had been putting finishing touches to my work, at my hideout, where I go when I need to concentrate (and to escape my battalion). This place is close to a maternity center, by the way. I noticed that an older woman was agitated. She was fidgety, making calls and would sometimes randomly burst into speech, “What are they still doing upstairs?”
After a while, a young man came downstairs, who turned out to be a new father and son of the older woman downstairs. She asked him what they were still doing upstairs, that it was getting late and they needed to be heading home.
He told her the doctor was still checking on his wife and baby, but that they would soon be on their way. The next time he came downstairs, she asked him to tell his friend and wife, who had been with them since morning, to go home. Her son jokingly told her he would rather tell them to wait till later in the night. Mama did not like that at all and she made it known.
She was left on her own once more and she soliloquized a lot about how she had been awake since the early hours of that day, when her son had told her he was rushing his pregnant wife to the hospital. How she had barely made breakfast for her husband before rushing out of the house, and it was not likely she would be there to make dinner for the man at this rate.
Now, it was obvious, she was having this conversation in order to get me to join in, as it was just the two of us present. What she doesn’t know is that I’m very good at pretending I’m alone when I’m in company I don’t like. I just blocked her out of my mind and concentrated on what I was doing. Time was going ladies, and I honestly was in no mood for idle chit chat, not even with an older mom. No, sorry!
Within that time, her son drove out with his friend, to get money from the ATM. They went to the pharmacy to get a drug the new mom had been prescribed a few hours after she gave birth, and the doctor had said she needed to have the medication before she was discharged. These movements made mama angry o.
She lamented how another woman who had given birth several hours after her son’s wife, had gone home since 3 o’clock in the afternoon, and yet they were still here at night, and then it got worse…at least for me. I was pained that it was coming from an older mom.
“Has she not given birth before? What is the big deal sef in having babies?! See women that had their babies after her, they have since gone home and we are still here. Doing what? I don’t know. If I talk now, they will say I don’t know what I’m talking about. Let the husband allow his friend and wife, who have been here since morning to go home, but no. They are just not listening to me. Everybody is doing their own thing.”
And she went on and on and on, so much so that I wondered why she was not tired, but after that tirade, I definitely was not going to join in that conversation, no matter what. She would definitely feel insulted by what I had to say.
Several hours after mama started worrying, her daughter-in-law came down with the new baby and she stayed well away from where the new grandma was seated. Her sister brought the baby to grandma, and her son took pictures of grandma and the new baby, and that was when I saw a small smile on her lips, as she looked down at the baby in her arms.
They soon drove off, new mom, dad and grandma in the friend’s car, and I guess mama will now be happy that she can cook dinner for her husband.
I do not know this family and the new grandma might not even mean her words, or they might have the legendary mother-in-law/daughter-in-law friction, but to stoop so low as to devalue the pain and beauty of childbirth is well…too low for me. Those words were just too low. They shouldn’t be heard from a mother, much more froman older mom, with grown up children.
For me, this is why childbirth (regardless of the way baby comes) is a big deal!
Just take a look around you right now. Every one you lay eyes on was born. That is the only known way for anyone to be here. That means, literally, if childbirth doesn’t exist, there would be no people, even you would not have been born. Abeg, I don’t know what could be more of a big deal than that.
The entirety of human race rests on continued childbirth. That is the honest truth, and that is a big deal!
Child birth is a mixture of pain and pleasure
Childbirth comes with a sense of accomplishment. Most people often feel the greatest sense of accomplishment for the things that took time, effort, blood, sweat, and tears. Childbirth is that times a thousand, and it is worth every feeling of accomplishment that passes through you.
And when you hold your baby, absolutely nothing equates to that feeling in the whole wide world. I tell you, it does not matter if it’s your first or last child, it feels like a fresh introduction to love, so you get the butterflies in your stomach, the flip flop of your heart, the constant look at the face of that baby that just came out of you.
It’s quite a beautiful experience that you shouldn’t let anyone take away from you by belittling the experience you have gone through.
My affirmation is simple: it’s child birth and it’s a BIG DEAL!!!
Join the conversation with any of our TTC and Pregnancy Groups here