Granted you want a baby, but are you ready for a baby? Better yet, is your lifestyle ready for a baby? Many of us do not often sit to re-evaluate our lifestyles to see if it could accommodate a baby, we just know we want a baby, and the universe needs to start doing something about that quick. I was probably the Vice President of this association. So, Hubby didn’t like where he was living at the time we got married, and wanted us to move. He encountered a lot of traffic getting to and from work, and complained whenever he got home tired at 9pm. I liked the estate and the new friends I had made; and maybe because I was hardly on the road during rush hours, I couldn’t understand the man’s plight and kept putting off the idea of moving. For some reason, I was totally numb to the fact that we lived close to the airport, and had gotten accustomed to the noise of landing planes.
It’s funny how all your maternal instincts rear to the fore, the minute life starts to grow inside of you. Can I get an Amen? All of a sudden, I realized that I couldn’t raise a baby in an estate that was just behind the local airport. The noise suddenly became unbearable and I knew that baby would not be able to sleep well under such conditions; plus all the hearing defects that could result from exposing a baby to such noise. And then, my ante-natal appointments had me leaving the house early so I sometimes joined early morning traffic. On some days, I stayed in the hospital really late and suffered traffic with those returning home from work. And the hospital I liked and used was far from the house. I started to think “|Is this what I would suffer when I start working? What if I go into labour suddenly, how soon would I get to the hospital?” No oh! So I moved motion for relocation and DH gladly accepted. This was the message he had preached for over a year, and I had refused conversion. He called agents and we started looking at apartments. We finally saw a nice apartment that we liked and could afford in Maryland, and Oga paid.
The day he paid for the apartment, he received news that he was to travel to Abuja for a three month-training immediately. He knew prior to that time that he would be going on training, but wasn’t sure when, and we had being praying the training would wait till I gave birth. Well, he had just about three days to get ready; that meant it was up to me to move our things. I was six months pregnant. I looked at my life, and my life looked at me. How was I going to cope? To make matters worse, I didn’t know how to drive. I had grown so comfortable with having him pick me and drop me wherever or send his office driver to do so, that anytime someone asked me to learn how to drive; I would tell the person how I can’t cope with Lagos drivers and their craziness. Which was true anyways, because I drove (with supervision of course) whenever we travelled to the east, but once we got back to town, I would revert back to default. How I coped and eventually moved to the new apartment is a story for another day, trust me it wasn’t funny. My husband’s friends were my saviours; driving me to Tejuosho to buy curtains and beddings, to helping me find a plumber, painter and electrician, and helping me the day I had to move all our things to the apartment.
Then I had this big new apartment, all to myself and loneliness started to creep in. I had to beg two of my friends to come stay with me until my husband returned, and thank God they did. I regretted not making this big move before getting pregnant. I wished I had asked myself if I was truly ready for a baby. Maybe if I did, I would have realized that I needed to change apartments before the baby arrives. To be sure your lifestyle is ready for a baby, ask yourself some questions.
1. Why do you want a baby?
You have to be sure that you want a baby for the right reasons, not because everyone else is having a baby or because society expects it of you. Be sure that you both feel the timing is perfect in your relationship and you are ready for that new addition. Only if your motives are right, would you be able to withstand the not-so-good days of parenthood.
2. Where is your relationship at?
It is also good to ensure that your relationship is stable and going strong. You don’t want to have a baby and then realize that you shouldn’t be with this person in the first place. Leaving a bad relationship is much easier when there are no baby strings attached.
3. Are your finances ready?
Babies are cute and we all love us some of that cuteness, but cute babies cost money. Its expensive having to buy new clothes and shoes every couple of months, buy good diapers, baby food, pay for health insurance, immunization and consultations, as well as start saving for school. Be sure that your joint finances with your spouse can shoulder the new responsibility before you venture on.
4. Is your career ready?
Are you in that place in your career where having a baby won’t put a big dent on things? If your career is just starting out and you think that a baby would stall your progress, then maybe you need to focus on your career for a bit more, and then evaluate after some months or a year. If you are going to be given up your career, have a plan B on the side, because having too much time on your hands would get you depressed and resentful. Be sure that you can balance both career and parenthood before matching on.
Perfect timing is wisdom!
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