Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 12: Pain births something new



I couldn’t make it to the gym today. Heck, it was even work preparing my daughter for school. My legs felt like they had been detached from the rest of my body! I know I usually feel sore after leg day at the gym, but it doesn’t last for an entire day. I guess that is a sign that I need to keep fit. Since I couldn’t make it to the gym today, I managed to watch my diet. Green tea for breakfast got me alert and ready for work. For lunch, I had me some avocados beside my plate of plantain and egg sauce. My day was going really well until I was on my way to church for mid-week service and found myself branching at ColdStone Creamy for a treat. I was devouring my ice cream in joy when I decided to browse the internet, and ended up staying at ColdStone for longer than I anticipated. I ended up being late for service, but I still gained a lot from the message preached, as the focus scripture really ministered to me. I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born-Isaiah66:9.

Indeed nothing good in life comes without some amount of pain. You want a degree, you have to put in some sleepless nights. You want to get promoted at the office, you have to put in work. To get to that point where you are celebrating 10,20,30,40,50 years of being married also takes effort. Same goes for pregnancy and childbirth…but the Word of God is my consolation. That we can be assured that something new would be birthed out of our struggle, out of our pain. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and it is with that hope that I continue to prepare for the surrogacy journey ahead of me. I feel like so much has happened already, yet the journey seems to have only just begun. But whatever comes out of this journey, whatever pain or discomfort I have to put up with in order to achieve our goal…in order to make my aunt proud, it would be worth it, because something new would be birthed. A new destiny, a new purpose, a new page in my book of life, a new journey for my aunt. It makes everything worth it.

Just as I was preparing for church, I received a call from one of my friends. I had told her about the surrogacy journey before the first transfer and she vehemently advised me against it. Her reaction made me keep her in the dark over the events that unfolded, until she called me today and asked if I had changed my mind. When I replied in the negative, she asked me how far I had done, and then I foolishly opened my mouth and told her about the previous transfer and failed implantation. Guess what she said? That it was a sign from God that I should not go on with this surrogacy thing. God has given you a sign now, who knows what He is trying to prevent ahead of you? Better drop this mission now, before something bad happens oh, Me, I cannot cry oh. Today, I didn’t get angry at her. I just laughed as she ranted and begged me to abandon ship. I have come to understand that sometimes pessimistic people throw negative vibes your way out of love. To her, she is only looking out for me, her friend. That doesn’t make her a bad friend, it only means I would keep mute going forward and I pray to resist the temptation when she nuzzles me for information.

She is the only friend…of the few I told, that isn’t positive about me being a carrier for my aunt, so that’s fine. People would not always understand the reasons for your decisions, but that’s okay. What’s important is that I have the support of those who matter. I better go, take my shot now!

Have a blessed evening!


Join the conversation with any of our TTC and Pregnancy Groups here.


Catch up on Ipheoma’s story here:

  1. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 1: The Beginning
  2. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 2: Transfer Tick Tock
  3. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 3: Just Before The Whistle
  4. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 4: D-Day
  5. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 5: On Bed Rest
  6. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 6: Watching the Clock
  7. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 7: Almost There Now
  8. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 8: And the Results are in
  9. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 9: Morning After
  10. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 10: That Witch Showed Up
  11. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 11: Putting in work



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