Ipheoma”s Surrogacy Diary 9: Morning After



I woke up this morning, and saw our morning post on Faith’s Pregnancy Diary. The part she talked about staying in a hot tub, with scented candles all round and having magazines to help her relax…mehn, I knew I needed that.  I needed some selfish alone time…some inner peace and tranquility sort of thing. So I instinctively wore my gym clothes while dressing up for school drop off.

After I dropped my daughter in school, I went to the gym…so excited to at least get the opportunity to burn some of the pounds I piled during the 2ww. I was warming up on the treadmill when I remembered I still have that Monday appointment, so all plans to go hard flew out of the window. I ended going light on the treadmill and then doing squats and glutes work out only. Just in case we still have our embryos in there, I want to be sure that I didn’t do anything too rigorous to shift them. My personal trainer wondered at me when I said I could not do anything stressful and even refused his suggestion of aerobics..he probably assumed that I was already pregnant. I wish!

I wanted to get in for a sauna bath, but the lady in charge wasn’t around. So I managed to add in some light yoga moves, and went home. All day, I have craving some form of inner peace kinda activity. I contemplated visiting TerraKulture at V.I. to get myself lost in their beautiful art gallery, but since I have never been there, I didn’t want to go alone the first time. I have however added it to my Go-To list, because I checked them up on Google and the place looks amazing. So, I hope I find time to go this Month. And then, I thought about going to beach, and that looked like it was actually going to work. So I brought out my beach hat, painted my toenails red and even got out a gown to wear. But, I decided to quickly write an article before heading out, and by the time I was done; it was time to pick the little one from school. So, beach plan failed. While she was taking a nap however, I settled to read one of Jackie Collins Classic books while sipping on Green Tea. Hollywood Wives is one book that I never get tired of, and I had a good time reading it again. So the SELFISH day I had planned, ended up with me sitting in my couch and reading an old novel. I hope I get another selfish day next week, to at least read a new novel with my sunglasses on and my feet deep in warm sand and noise from the waves interrupting me now and then.

Speaking of Jackie Collins, who recently passed on after battling Stage 4 Breast Cancer, this month is Breast Cancer Awareness Month!! But you probably already knew that. I had gotten so immersed in my surrogacy journey that I didn’t have time to watch all my favourite talk shows. So late night, I managed to catch Wendy and The Real on BET and on both shows, they talked about the need to go for mammogram and get screened. Anyone else have cold feet for mammograms? Well, Jackie Collins died because her cancer was already advanced when she found out, but I saw a lot of survivors on TV who found out early and got treated. Since they say, women 35 years and older should get mammograms, I think I still have a few years to wait before going in…but I do not joke with breast self-examination. I make sure to check once a month at least and be sure there are no lumps, discharge or noticeable difference in size. So when I called my aunt today, I asked if she had ever gone for a mammogram and she said yes…but that it was years ago when she turned forty. So I asked if she was going to go for another one, and she said Mba biko, let me face the one that is facing me. I have done one screening, if I keep searching, I would soon find what I am looking for. I laughed out loud at our typical African mentality. Even my mother has vehemently refused to go for a mammogram.. She however tries to eat any fruit or food that you tell her is is great for preventing cancer. Her favourite fruit is sour sop which we found out, is 10,000 times more active in shrinking cancer cells than chemotherapy.

I spoke with my aunt today about considering other options to getting a baby. I suggested that if the next cycle doesn’t work, she probably needs to consider using an egg donor or adopting a baby. She agreed with me and even said that she talked about it with her husband, and adoption was going to be their next option if surrogacy failed. There are so many babies out there in need of mothers, and I like the fact that my aunt was starting to think along that line. Many years ago, my mother and some of her other siblings suggested adoption to her but she turned it down. Her excuse was that she didn’t know the character traits of the biological parents of the child. I remember her asking one time what if the father of the child is a thief or what if the mother has madness in her family? I guess now, she understands that all babies come in what Psychologists call Tabula Rasa which means blank board, and that it is what is imprinted from the different environments and the parenting style that determines how a child turns out. Right now, I am grateful for the fact that she is more open-minded; at least when we start the next cycle, I won’t feel too pressured.

Cheers to a wonderful weekend. And thank you again for all the love, wishes, prayers and kind words. Every one meant a great deal.

Goodnight sisters!

Join the conversation with any of our TTC and Pregnancy Groups here.



Catch up on Ipheoma’s story here:

  1. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 1: The Beginning
  2. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 2: Transfer Tick Tock
  3. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 3: Just Before The Whistle
  4. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 4: D-Day
  5. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 5: On Bed Rest
  6. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 6: Watching the Clock
  7. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 7: Almost There Now
  8. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 8: And the Results are in




  1. Well done Angel. Glad you enjoyed your alone time. I loved that book also but never thought to read it again so you’ve given me a bright idea.
    Good your Aunty has accepted other options, it’s always good to have a plan B and even C.
    May God strengthen you all. :hugs:



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