Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 20: Gist Plenty!



Pardon my headline, but that was all I could think about as I was starting today’s journal. A lot happened since Friday and I hope I don’t leave out any. Saturday was a wonderful day as I, Kemi and Nicole got to attend South Shore’s 3rd Annual Seminar on Managing Infertility. I learnt a lot! I learned so much, but the highlight for me was a Urologist from LASUTH named Dr. Bero. Covering my face as I say this, but Saturday was the first time I actually realized that gynecologists ought not to treat Male-related infertility! I don’t know why it never occurred to me before now! During the course of the seminar, he highlighted so many mind-blowing aspects of Male Infertility and you could tell that he knew his onions. When asked why gynecologists choose to treat Male-related infertility when they are clearly trained for Female-related infertility, he attributed that to the fear of losing clients. A gynecologist could feel he/she would be losing a patient by referring the couple to a Urologist, so they decide to make consultations only and choose to treat the cases themselves. I think there should be an ethical backing for this, because it doesn’t make any sense to me anymore. Well, now I know and I would definitely be recommending couples with Male-related Infertility to a Urologist…preferably Dr. Omisanjo himself.

We also got to listen to Dr. Yemisi Bero of The ARK. She had just come in from a conference in the States and had lots to share about advancements in Assisted Reproduction Technology and other options available to couples such as Adoption and Surrogacy. Another major highlight for me was when a lady who had been TTC for five years, shared her story through her IVF cycles and subsequent Adoption. She even shared pictures of the baby and my God, the baby looks like her! Frankly, if you were not told, you would not believe she didn’t carry this child in her womb. That’s just how awesome God is. She spoke with so much love and laughter and pride that you could tell her whole world changed when she got her Kamsi. We also heard a success story from a lady who talked with so much humour and wit about going through Infertility and how blessed she was to get pregnant on her first IVF, after going through a series of failed IUIs. You know how Infertility is still sort of a taboo topic? It felt liberating to be in a room full of people..men and women alike who understand and share their experiences and ask questions without reservations. Well, the seminar was South Shore’s third…and I am already looking forward to the fourth!

On Sunday, we got dressed up and went to attend the Dedication of my husband’s best friend’s twins. The ceremony at church went great and while I was busy chatting with my co-wives from my husband’s clique, my daughter was busy running around and playing with other toddlers around. Then a colleague from my husband’s office greets the women at my table and turns to me to say when are you going to give Kaima a sibling? She is already grown and you are here drinking wine and forming sisi. Don’t you know it won’t be good for your husband to use pension money in training his children. I just smiled at the Oga and thanked him for his concern, I went on to add that my husband and I are trying to conceive and he should remember us in his prayers. I am sure that was what he wanted to hear, as he got sympathetic and muttered a few sentences of prayers.

Since my daughter’s first birthday, I have been exposed to comments as such…never from my husband’s family, always from his friends and colleagues. I try to understand that they mean well, although I don’t get why my family planning mechanism should be a concern to them. But society is society…we just have to determine how we respond to it. Me? I am happily looking forward to this surrogacy journey, hoping to get pregnant and would even take another year’s break after that before having another child. I wish they knew how much work my daughter gives me, they would understand if I decide to wait till she is five to try again for another baby. Biological clock be damned!

So I had my hospital appointment this afternoon and the scan showed that I am good to go for the transfer! I thought we would be having it on Friday, but the Doctor says Wednesday. I was like Wednesday, like next tomorrow?? And she nodded! So I’ve got less than forty-eight hours to get ready! I have told Aunty Oby and I am almost sure she would skip work tomorrow and Wednesday and stay in church praying ahead of the FET. I am not even thinking about the transfer myself, I am only thinking about all the work I need to get done before I am confined to bedrest. I was given Progesterone shots and asked to administer them on my bum. The last time, I was instructed to administer the shots on my thighs and that was pretty easy since I could self-inject. This time, I am going to need the help of DH. I should get the shot by 10pm…I can’t wait to see how that goes.

Goodnight sisters!


Join the conversation with any of our TTC and Pregnancy Groups here.


Catch up on Ipheoma’s story here:

  1. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 1: The Beginning
  2. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 2: Transfer Tick Tock
  3. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 3: Just Before The Whistle
  4. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 4: D-Day
  5. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 5: On Bed Rest
  6. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 6: Watching the Clock
  7. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 7: Almost There Now
  8. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 8: And the Results are in
  9. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 9: Morning After
  10. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 10: That Witch Showed Up
  11. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 11: Putting in work
  12. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 12: Pain births something new
  13. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 13: Light a candle
  14. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 14: Learning from Cartoons
  15. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 15: Something to look forward to
  16. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 16: Detox
  17. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 17: One bad day
  18. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 18: I cheated
  19. Ipheoma’s Surrogacy Diary 19: OHSS



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