“I Feel Complete” – 3 Adoptive Moms Share Their Stories

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“I  have got big news” Lateefah kept hinting for several weeks, and I would imagine her rubbing her palms together, every time she dropped that line in our chat. You know, like a cat who got the cream.

And the honest truth was, I wanted to hear that big news like yesterday, but mehn, Lateefah was a torture machine! She kept postponing it, and later said it was news better divulged when we meet. So we arranged a meeting, and even before we sat down, I was asking, “So what is the big news?”

Ever wicked, Lateefah said, “Calm down, we just got here. How are you doing?”

“Calm down like how? Let’s talk about the reason we came here, then I can tell you how I am.” I replied, just wanting to get news over and done with.

Moving closer, she said, “I have adopted a baby girl!” She didn’t finish before I fist bumped the air and only comported myself in time, before I let out a scream like a banshee; we were in a public place after all, but inside of me, I was dancing and throwing a party.

But physically, I held her hands and said congratulations and just kept saying that. Gosh, what big news indeed! It’s been a long journey to motherhood for Lateefah, and I’m so glad she chose this route, at least this time.

She can bring joy into her little girl’s life and be filled with joy as well. She showed me photos, and gosh! I couldn’t believe the resemblance between them. It was so unexpected, and I wondered at just how blessed she is.

One word she said that stuck with me and inspired the title of this piece, was “I feel complete. I feel like my family is complete. You know, even if I never have another baby, I can die content.” It was so deep and poignant, and obviously born of her TTC journey so far.

I’m not God, but I just feel like Tolu will have another baby, whether by adoption, by IVF, or spontaneous conception, I have no idea but I just know she will have another. I told her as much, but she’s so full of joy over this one child, you would think she hit the jackpot, and in a sense, she did. Better even than monetary jackpot.

 

I had no idea, I could love like that

Adaeze, who adopted her daughter after her childhood dreams of being a mother were dashed too many times by her own body, which just refused to cooperate with all the treatments her doctor was offering, is head over heels in love with that girl.

For Adaeze and her husband of six years, adoption wasn’t an easy decision, given the fact that they are both only children. The future of their families was tied to them having children, and both sets of parents made this very clear time and time again. The mothers ran themselves ragged with worry, looking at different options, until their children told them to stay out of their business. Mehn, that wasn’t easy on all of them.

When natural or assisted conception wasn’t happening, they played with the idea of adoption and even filed an application for half-heartedly. So, it was a bit shocking that they got called back. Long story short, they fell in love with the baby as soon as they saw her.

Here’s what she shared of her experience:

“I had no idea how much love my heart could hold, until I met my daughter.  My heart nearly wanted to burst. She was so cute, I didn’t think a baby could be that beautiful…and she was my baby!!! I was crying. I was all teary over her and everyone kept telling me to stop crying, but they had no idea how I felt at that moment.

I tried to comport myself, but it was a tough task.

For weeks, after we took her home, I didn’t leave my house. For what nau?  Anyone who really wanted to see me, came to my house. Both old ladies, my mom and mom-in-law, came for Omugwo. She was spoilt rotten.

We were lucky to be blessed with her when she was just a few months old, and now she is four.

These have been the best four years of our lives. I couldn’t imagine my world without her in it. I tell her all the time that I love her more than anything. And I think she knows that, because she now says ‘I love you too’ to anyone who tells her I love you.

I nearly gave up

No one who has gone through the adoption process has ever said it was easy, Omoh knows that for a fact…and first hand.

She and her husband had nearly given up on adopting a baby. It was just as though the people in charge were only interested in playing mind-games, just to see to what extent they could stretch the patience of adoptive parents…at least that was what Omoh thought.

Sometimes they were all helpful, promising to hasten the process, and other times, they couldn’t even bear their presence. And this couple didn’t have any preference; no gender, no rules; they just wanted a baby. Just how hard can it get, with the amount of unwanted babies out there? Apparently, it can get very hard.

Well, it took four years of emotional upheavals, before their dreams came through.

“The whole process certainly blew my mind away. I mean, it took us almost four years to find a child and to complete the whole adoption process. And we weren’t picky…we just wanted a child.

We are now a family. We got a baby in the end, but the paperwork, invasion of privacy, insensitive questioning sessions and a headache of bureaucracy, was something we could do without.

However, if you ask me if I would do this again, just for the joy of having a child…you bet! In a heartbeat! I would be all over the place.”

Truly, adoption isn’t for everyone and is not for those who give up too early but if the testimonies of these mamas are anything to go about, then it is definitely worth it.

Cheers to adoptive mamas.

 

 

Join the conversation with any of our TTC and Pregnancy Groups here

 

Photo credits:

1. http://i.huffpost.com/

2. https://business-reporter.co.uk/

3. https://givingbabyupforadoption.com/

 

 

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4 COMMENTS

  1. I don’t think it’s a case of giving up but to more a case of finding peace and being sane whilst working on the other options. If only adoption process in this country was pretty straight forward and transparent, many rely on baby making factory route to avoid the so-called stigma and some the lengthy bureaucracy. Can we have more information on this i.e. lagos state i hear isn’t accepting applications so what are the options for lagosians?
    I wish more of us would open up to adoption.

    • You know @bosa, I think Lagos state makes it deliberately hard to adopt from the state and I can’t what the better deal they have to offer these children, who just need a family. Anyways, you are in the spirit, where this information is concerned.
      I agree with this @I don’t think it’s a case of giving up but to more a case of finding peace and being sane whilst working on the other options.

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