I Choose To Be Happy!

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Not an easy choice to make whilst in the TTC wilderness. Not when month after month, your heart gets broken. Not when everything, and anything, reminds you of your yearning for a baby. Not when the world expects you to act a certain way. But you know what?! Go for it…choose it anyway!

I wish I had done this when I was actively TTC. So many times, I actually chose to be unhappy. I did this every time I allowed myself forget about everything I had going on in my life, choosing instead to focus on the one thing I didn’t have. I did this every time I picked a fight with my DH, for no other reason than my anxiety. I did this every time I allowed myself build my hopes for every cycle, without making any emotional provision for the possibility of failure. I did this every time I opted out of fun outings and occasions just to sit at home and sulk. I did this every time I chose to interpret comments from friends and acquaintances, as being mean and malicious, when they probably didn’t mean any harm. And for those that were indeed not well meaning, I did this every time I chose to fixate on whatever they had said or done, instead of doing the wise thing and ignoring them. They say hindsight is 50/50, and looking back, I wish I had done things differently. Because now that I do have my beautiful girls, I regret sacrificing those 2+ years of my life to self pity and melancholy.

Here are just a few reasons why you should choose to be happy:

1) Girl, you are ALIVE

silhouette of woman with open arms at sunset

Yes, yes…you’ve heard this over and over again, but it’s a fact that so many people would have given anything to still be alive today. But there you are, alive and probably in the best of health, save for a few reproductive issues. The woman who has just been diagnosed with a terminal illness would probably give anything to be in your shoes. So, yeah…you do need to be happy…and grateful.

 

2) You have LOVE

 

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If you are TTC, that means you probably have a partner. Yes, your sexual romps might not have hit the bull’s eye yet, but hey…at least you’re having sex. You have someone to cuddle up with at night…someone to talk to…someone to love. You might want to take it for granted, but there are millions of people the world over, who would give anything to have someone wrap a loving arm around them, even if only for just 5 minutes. In the midst of your TTC anxiety, never take your partner for granted.

 

3) You have HOPE

 

jump on a decline

Yes, you might have failed cycle after cycle, but you HAVE kept on trying. Yes, your heart has been broken over and over again, but you have kept on hoping. You see a future of yourself with your babies, and the delay in the realisation of that dream is what is causing you much angst. Take a break from the sadness and give thought to those people who can not see a day past tomorrow, those people who have totally given up on life and believe they have nothing to live for. You, on the other hand, do have something to live for. Never take that for granted.

Of course, it is not easy to choose to be happy when surrounded by less than cosher external factors. How do you deal with the kill joys in your life? The people and things that, whether deliberately or inadvertently, bring you down? First of all, you need to recognise them for what they are. Identify, and acknowledge, that these are the things that are most guaranteed to bring down your Positive Mental Attitude (PMA), and then choose to act accordingly. It’s not compulsory to engage in conversation with that woman who always asks the tactless and over personal questions. It’s your prerogative to choose whether, or not, to answer the call of that friend who keeps lamenting about how fertile she is. You can always go hunting for another Church if yours has suddenly turned to a baby factory for everyone but you, with every other person sporting a baby bump and wanting to pray for yours. Anything that attempts to mess with your zen, take a pair of scissors and snip them right out!

Because happy you choose to be, and happy you must remain!   :good:

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Join the conversation with any of our TTC and Pregnancy Groups here.

Photo Credits

  1. http://www.livehappy.com/
  2. http://thriveandheal.com
  3. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/
  4. http://oluwoman.com/

 

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19 COMMENTS

  1. Since i got married for the past 2 years am not always happy cus am trying to conceive. Anytime am happy I will just feel bad suddenly I will be thinking that I don’t have a baby yet. Is not easy at all for me. I will try and adopt this your idea . Thanks Nicole. You are doing a great job.

  2. Now isn’t this the truth??!!! Words on marble.. I tell myself this every single time I try to be unhappy about anything not just ttc. God bless you Nicole for everything you do!!

  3. This article actually brought tears to my eyes,I pray for the courage to stay positive and happy through this TTC period.

  4. Honestly, i used to be moody, in recent times,I’ve decided to leave everything to God while doing my own part. You know what ? I always stay happy even when people keep asking me about it.
    I enjoy my life as much as possible. Although it isn’t easy but just decided to behave as if nothing is wrong.

  5. Now this is exactly what I needed. Thanks Nicole. I think God makes us go through stuff like this so we can help others in similar situations. Baby dust to us all!!!

  6. Thanks Nicole for this. I am blessed with an amazing husband and 2 gorgeous kids and every good thing but sometimes I get unhappy because I don’t have a job.I keep hearing’No Vacancy’.As a post nysc medical doctor, everyone just expects it to happen so easily but it’s not.Lord knows I am really grateful for all I have been blessed with.I choose to be happy while I keep searching and waiting for a good job.Thanks for all you do.PS; I have followed you from BellaNaija.May God bless you.

    • Awww Onyinye, I know that feeling hun. But I’m glad you’ve chosen to be happy. With your qualifications, you will most surely get a great job. I’m almost certain of it! Just be patient hun, and focus on the blessings you do have. A great husband and healthy children are a phenomenal blessing. I do know how you feel, as there was a point when I just couldn’t get the right kind of job. But today, the case is different, and I can only give glory to God. Just relax, be patient, be HAPPY, be faithful…and the right job will come :heart:

      And thanks so much for reading as far back as my BN days. I really appreciate it :hugs: :hug:

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