He Wants Me But Not My Child – Latasha’s Story

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“Is this good?” said she who hunkered down, speaking to the atmosphere. The winds echoed her voice and brought her words back to her, but she continued, “He wants me, but not the baby we made together.  I’m not a child any longer. I’m not young any longer. I want to have my own family. I want to have a husband and a baby, and if a husband is not going to happen, let me please have this baby, dear Lord!”

She threw away angrily the twig she had been using to scribble on the hard floor, and said, “I’m not aborting this baby, whatever he says. If he wants nothing to do me after this, I can live with it. But I’m not aborting my baby.”

Dusting her hands, she straightened her shoulders, lifted her head, and walked jerkily to her car, swinging the door open, she lunged for her phone. Called her boyfriend, told him her decision and to whatever he said on the other end, she said “Okay, that’s just fine”, with her expression anything but fine.

One thing was clear. She was not aborting her baby.

The above scenario was from a Nollywood movie that I watched recently, and it immediately reminded me of Latasha’s story, which she had first shared with me back in late 2017, and which is still an on-going situation.

Latasha is the 4th born of seven children, the second girl child. She had grown under the protective wings of her brothers and the eagle eyes of her oldest sister, who was her second mommy. One thing that was very clear from whilst they were very young was relationships are not a do-or-die affair.

Latasha’s parents, though happily married, were the only ones of their siblings who are married. The rest had married and divorced, some remarried and were single again.  Even though theirs was an already large family, they constantly welcomed cousins, uncles and aunties, all of whom needed a safe place to get their lives together once more, after a heart-breaking relationship.

It was in this kind of environment that Latasha grew up; the love of her parents and the heartbreak that was the lots of her extended families.

As Latasha grew, she went from an ugly duckling to a graceful swan and the men came in droves, but she wasn’t interested.  She was waiting for her ideal man, she often told her mother, who was worried that her second daughter was being picky.

Picky or not, Latasha never settled on any man, until she had gotten to that phase in life where she felt she was ready, and then his tall dark chocolate of a man waltzed into her life and swept her off her feet.

All of a sudden, she was being very girly, taking more time with her make-up, clothes. Her tomboy days were firmly all over, her family members sighed in relief. This was the real deal, they thought back then. She didn’t even want to hang out with her brothers again.  Thank God for her, this tall dreamy man also had his eyes on her and asked her out.

Theirs was a passionate relationship, pure and simple.  They were not married but they might as well have been, given the manner in which they conducted their business.  Quite a lot of people expected them to get married soon after dating, but that didn’t happen.

One year, two years and they were still dating.  Regardless of the years they had been together, they were still going strong, but marriage seemed forbidden, at least that was what it looked like to the outside world.

What they didn’t know was Latasha wanted to get married, but she was not absolutely sure. And her beau wasn’t even entertaining the thought at all.

Until Latasha got pregnant, and then she realised why she hadn’t been totally cool with the idea of marrying him.

They had been using protection but they slipped up one time, and it resulted in a baby that Latasha’s beau wanted her to abort, so they could go back to their status quo.  He made it known he was not the kind of guy to be tied down with a pregnancy.

Quite out of character for her, Latasha calmly told her beau that she was not interested in tying him down and that she would take care of everything that concerned the baby if he didn’t want it…but that she wasn’t going to abort the baby.

That only fuelled his anger, as he made it known he had plans for his life and the children he would have, and that Latasha’s plan would not work for him, unless she aborted the pregnancy.

As at last year, Latasha had already told her family that she was pregnant and that her beau was giving her grief over it, asking her to abort it.  Like she had known they would, they scolded her but stood staunchly with her.

Her parents went as far as calling on her beau’s family to absolve them of any responsibility towards their unborn grandchild, but there was a proviso; they couldn’t show up several years later demanding audience on the same matter.  It would not work.

Three months later, Latasha’s beau is back again, but this time, he is suggesting that she give up her child for adoption, so they can continue their lives as before.

Just as I expressed surprise and wonder if he is in a healthy state mentally, Latasha said she wondered too, and actually asked him if he was okay.

Right now, their relationship is loose and cannot be described, yet Latasha’s beau won’t stay away.  He obviously wants her, but wants nothing to do with his unborn child. Even with this knowledge, Latasha’s heart still beats faster when she sees him (which she does without the knowledge of her family).

I know Latasha knows that a clean break is the only way to go in this matter, but she is not so inclined to effect it. Do you think there are other ways Latasha can work through this situation? Please share.

Godspeed.

 

 

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Photo credits:

1. Shutterstock

2. Dailymail

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8 COMMENTS

  1. The solution is clear and simple. No 2 ways. It’s either that or nothing else. The guy is simply not serious! He just enjoys the fun and I’m sure sex aspect of her and doesn’t want any commitment.
    Why waste any more precious time on and with him? Totally break whatever relationship there is now, give birth to your child, learn the lessons and move on! GOD will take care of you and can even bring you a better man who will accept you and even your child! It’s as simple as that.
    This guy obviously has got game in his eyes!

  2. She’s good enough for a relationship and casual sex but isn’t good enough for marriage to him. Infact, its a clean break that can only earn her respect from him. She needs to let go of any emotion and move on

  3. How can you want me but not my baby, a part of me, a part of you? Its so crazy!! Pls let her walk. He doesnt deserve her. He is selfish and self centered. Latasha, be strong. Forget about him and focus on yourself and your baby. The right man who deserves you will find you.

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