We all know the reason behind this platform; to provide support for women and couples who are finding it hard to become parents. However, there are a class of people for whom conceiving is no challenge for. They get pregnant at the drop of a hat (pun fully intended) and sometimes too, they get pregnant on their first try.
Ebele is one of them. In fact, she got pregnant the first time she tried with her new beau, who was her husband. Mind you Ebele wasn’t a virgin as at that time, a fact she had shared with me while we were talking about celibacy and its effect on fertility.
Ebele and I had gotten to know each other through our hideout; see two moms trying to escape their children for an hour or two, just to get some work done without distraction. That was our bonding point and we have since left that zone to talk about so many other issues and been through some trying times too, these past few weeks, when she lost her sister-in-law at childbirth. The baby is alive though.
Back to my story, Ebele had been celibate for a long time, close to ten years, and it was simply because she was tired of sharing herself with just about every boyfriend she had. She said, when she made that decision to abstain, temptation just filled her path! The men swarmed around her, all of them promising heaven and earth, if only she would accept them as her boyfriend.
When she tried to date one or two of them, the general expectation was that she would have sex with them. When that wasn’t happening, things turned sour and that was how Ebele, tall and fair-skinnned with a beautiful, oval face, became manless for close to 10 years. She always laid her celibacy card on the table from the start and once the men realised she wasn’t budging on that front, they moved on.
Through all of this, Ebele was hurt that it was the time she decided to do the right thing that the men decided to stay away, but she stayed the course. Meanwhile, her people were on her neck to get married, and she was worrying about her advancing age and its effect on her fertility.
She wasn’t TTC, but she said she had so much interest in fertility that she got to know her body so much for a non-TTC lady. She knew about her ovulation, the symptoms that come up whenever she was in the second half of her menstrual cycle. She even kept a journal of those things to track her cycle.
But first things first, she had to get married and as the years went by with no serious man on her radar, and her younger ones getting married and having children like it was going out of fashion, the pressure on Ebele started to mount.
But her prayers were answered soon. She met the man who turned out to be her husband when she was 33 years old, and not wanting to waste time, a few weeks to her 34th birthday, they were married. Ebele said, sex for them was somewhat a challenge as he too hadn’t had sex in a long time, so it took some fumbling and time, before they actually did the deed.
And it was as though her parched ovaries sucked every ounce of swimmers that came their way on the day they made love. “My whole body had been screaming baby, baby for a long time, I guess, it just got what it needed to make a baby and it set to work, as soon as it got it.” Ebele said.
While it looked like she was being pompous and confident, she said, she wasn’t expecting Aunty Red on her expected date and the witch did not show up!!! Even though,I knew, she was already a mom, that part of Aunty Flo not showing up, really sweetened my belle.
Ebele tested and got a BFP, did blood work and got the same positive. Hers was a case of touch and go. The baby from that first time is now a six year old boy, his brother is 4 years old, and they are done having kids, at least for now.
According to my online research, about 30 percent of couples get pregnant in the first month of trying, and another 59 percent conceive within three cycles, that’s averagely three months for most women. While the age at which TTC is started is a factor, due to the fact that quality of eggs decreases with age, it is still not the only factor and had only a slim bearing on the stats, I found. That alone is comforting to me.
If we take an honest look at it, part of the fun of trying for a baby is, well…all the sex you get to have leading up to that BFP. While TTC can take the fun out of trying too, there are a few things one can do to boost the odds, to join the rank of The Fertile Chicks, I mean the 30%, who get pregnant in their first cycle of trying or at least the 59 percent, who do so in the first three months of their TTC journey.
One of the things to do is get a hang of your cycle, just like Ebele did. Knowing your cycle helps you to determine when you do ovulate and that way, you can have lots and lots of sex on that day and the days leading up to it.
While at it, a body primed for pregnancy wouldn’t be a bad thing to have, well in advance of trying! And that means, both man and wife should make some lifestyle changes like quitting smoking and alcohol, if they do, and to get some decent amount of exercise, not forgetting about a healthy diet, and with God on our side, that wait for the baby shouldn’t be a long one.
Baby dust to you all!
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