Love is in the air and most lovers are already excited about the day and what it brings. However, not everyone will catch the Valentine’s Day bug. For some, it’s a reminder of what’s missing in their lives and for others; the day is just about the commercialisation of love. For either group, the day can’t be over fast enough.
For single mom, Niniola, she had conveniently forgotten about Valentine’s Day and didn’t realise the day was coming up fast, until her sons, brought home a note from school, asking parents to add a touch of red to their school uniforms in celebration of the day.
For a moment, Niniola thought about the many Valentine’s Days she had enjoyed, the expensive perfume, her ex-husband her gifted her on their very first Valentine’s Day as a married couple. Niniola thought about the fancy restaurants, he had taken her to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Her ex-husband was really big on showing her love, until things went south.
The gifts didn’t come for only her, the children were included too. They started getting Valentine’s Day gifts as soon as their father thought; they were able to appreciate the day.
After seven years of marriage, they were done and this year is Niniola’s first Valentine’s Day as a single mom. Not only does she have to deal with her own feelings but also that of her boys, who had asked her if “Daddy was going to bring their gifts?” Not wanting to lie, she plainly told them Daddy was out of the country, a fact which they already knew and added that he might just bring their gifts on his return.
The truth is, this Valentine’s Day is making Niniola very sad but hey, it’s her first one, thus, it’s allowed . I’m pretty sure, that as the years go by, she would find a way to tolerate the day.
Meanwhile, what can she do this year? We will talk about some of the ways; single moms can enjoy a Valentine’s Day that’s filled with love.
Turn your focus on your children:
If she is not in a romantic relationship like Niniola, by all means, she can shower her kids with all of her love, attention, gifts, and time on that day.
If candlelight dinner would work for couples, a nice dinner with a fancier table setting will surely do the trick with children. The essence is about making the effort to show that you love your children, apart from the daily sacrifices moms make.
Focusing on your children also provides you with a very good way of teaching children about love and caring for the needs of our loved ones.
I absolutely love the saying that “Only you can make yourself happy, not even your partner can do that.” That is the absolute truth. So, even in a relationship, you are still responsible for your happiness, how much more, when you are single. You literally owe yourself love.
If you are not practising self-love, you will end up resenting all the people, you have been showering your love on at the expense of yourself. So, take time out to focus on yourself.
Do what you like on that day. Is it a refreshing bath, with scented candles? Please take it. Do you like the gift of time and attention, give it to yourself. Are you a lingerie lover, don’t hesitate to gift yourself, a nice set.
On Valentine’s Day, do exactly, what you would have liked your romantic partner to do for you on Valentine’s Day.
Love a stranger:
It is often said that moods are contagious. If you meet someone smiling, you are more than likely to smile and if you find someone frowning, then a frown might be your lot, if you are not careful.
While you might not be able to smile all the time, because honestly, who feels like smiling all the time? However on Valentine’s Day, gift strangers the gifts of a smile. Remember that Simi’s song, Smile for me? In this case, you will be smiling for yourself and you will live in a happy bubble throughout that day.
If you have the time, you can take it a step further, by actually doing something for someone, who is unlikely to repay you back. The feel good factor from doing that is out of this world.
Celebrate your support system:
They say, it takes a village to raise a child. Valentine’s Day is just the perfect day to celebrate the members of your village. It doesn’t matter if they are already paired up or single like you. It doesn’t matter if they are family or friends turned family. Just celebrate them.
If you like, you can pick a time close to Valentine’s Day (or on Valentine’s Day itself, if it works for everyone) and gather your friends together. Honour each guest with a special toast and share why they have become so important to you.
My God, you will see the way, the love will flow.
Write yourself a love letter:
Who doesn’t like reading a love letter? I absolutely adore it. Just imagine the silly smile that would be playing on your lips and the way your heart will be doing ghiz ghiz ☺. For those sensations, it is worth writing a letter to yourself, since no one is around to write it yet.
While your kids may surprise you with one, you are the best person to write a love note to yourself. After all, you know yourself too well. So you are saying, is that not being vain? I ask, when the last time was, you were vain and gloried in yourself.
A love note is what your need to remind yourself of your awesomeness. It’s all you need to remind yourself that you are sufficient in yourself and need no additions to be whole.
With all of these tips, single moms are surely in for a fun time on Valentine’s Day. You don’t need a lover to celebrate Val’s day, you just need love.
Happy Valentine’s Day mommas.
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