When my husband and I were expecting our first of three children, he got a lot of pretty weird advice. Someone actually told him, “When she goes into labor, you can actually break the speed limit, because no cop will pull over a woman in labor.” And while I’m thankful we didn’t test that dimwitted theory out, it just goes to show that even dads get the poopy end of the parenting advice stick.
Along the same lines, How To Dad just posted a video that had my rolling on the couch laughing until I cried —because it was legitimately God-awful advice that most dads seemingly think is helpful, but actually isn’t. Not even close.
The video, How To Support Her Through Pregnancy, has over 452K views and 1.9K shares — and for good reason. How To Dad is deadpan funny as he ticks off the worst “advice” for dads-to-be.
He starts with “Choose the Clothes,” showing himself wearing a t-shirt with his own face on it and giant hole cut out — where presumably the woman’s growing belly will eventually peek-a-boo its way through. Then he moves on to “Choose the baby name,” and apparently gets stuck at “Bob,” which made me chuckle as I remembered the terrible list of 4,000 names my husband and I tossed around for each of our kids.
When How To Dad gets to “Baby Proof the House,” I had to shush myself so I wouldn’t wake the baby as I was laughing at the image of him wrapping cellophane around his flat-screen TV. I could write several posts on how crazy we got with the baby proofing for baby number one … maybe a little less so for baby number two. And baby number three? HA! She’ll be a Spartan in no time.
How To Dad next advises dads to “grow your own belly by eating twice as much as she does.” And honestly? I would like this one better if he also got a flood of relaxing hormones in his body making his feet grow a whole size, his back hurt, and his hair eventually fall out. Then he could come talk with me about tit-for-tat. Mmmhmm.
How To Dad covers the basics of building baby furniture, helping to find a midwife, choosing the baby’s first outfit (NOPE), and finding clever ways to tell his pregnant counterpart that even when she’s nine months pregnant, she still somehow doesn’t look pregnant.
Hey! Wait a second. I think my husband did that!
This video has all the classic, “how to be a new dad” tropes that unfold in a clever “don’t be that dolt that actually does this” kind of tone. It’s hilarious and spot-on. And you’ve got to love the cautionary punch line at the end: “I hope no guys were harmed while showing their pregnant other halves this video.”