October 21st, 2009
It’s amazing how a simple word like that (or is that two words) can bring everything crashing down!
It all started when my cousin, Chidera, called me, just as I was getting home from the gym, to tell me she was working from her bank’s head office in VI today. Ever since she and her family moved to their house in Magodo, and she got transferred to one of her bank’s branches in Ikeja, we hardly get to see each other. Her life revolves around her side of town, and mine revolves around mine. So, the few times we happen to be in each other’s area, you can bet the other person will drop everything, in order to be able to spend time together!
Chidera is my maternal cousin…her Dad was my mother’s brother. He was a Professor in UNN’s Nnsuka campus, and my sisters and I practically grew up there, especially when my parents were having their problems. As we were born the same year, it was natural that we gravitated towards each other…we had pretended to be, and had even lied to a few that we were, twins. For as long as I can remember, we have been inseparable. She is closer to me than a cousin…and has been just like a sister. Besides JJ and my kids, and I guess my sisters, she is the closest person to me in the world! Right up to when I moved to Lagos for NYSC, we were like 5 and 6. In fact, it’s marriage, child bearing, and location that has created a physical wedge between us. But be rest assured that it is only physical, as we speak and chat on social media, multiple times daily!
Anyway oh, that’s how we agreed to meet up after work to catch a movie, before she went back to the mainland. So, as soon as the kids were sorted after school, homework et al, I drove to meet her at the cinema. After the noisy reunion (we hadn’t seen each other since my daughter’s party), and her raving about how I looked, we went to buy our movie tickets, after which she said she was going to get some popcorn.
She laughed at me when I declined our usual cinema treat “Sorry oh! Madam Slim. This your weight loss dikwa really serious!”
When she was handed the paper box of popcorn, the sweet aroma wafted into my nostrils…and I felt myself literally salivating. I couldn’t take my eyes off the white and brown tinged confection. And when Chidera took a mouthful, the crunchy sound sent shock waves through me.
“Abeg, Oga…bring another one!” Chidera requested, laughing over my reaction. “Don’t worry…it’s only this one time. And they say popcorn is just like 100 calories…so no harm done”.
As they handed me my own paper box, I knew I would be deceiving myself if I thought I was consuming anything less than 300 calories. But I was too far gone.
I will never forget that first mouthful. It was pure heaven! By the time the previews were over, even before the movie began, we had already come out to buy an extra box each.
When the movie was over, as her driver was still on his way to her, Chidera and I decided to wait for him in one of the restaurants in the complex. As we walked in, we caught sight of the goat meat and peppered snail platter a patron was eating. So we proceeded to order a portion of it…to share. But when the portion came, we agreed it was too small to share, and ordered another portion…as well as a an extra portion of fries. And drinking water wouldn’t have complimented the meal, so we each ordered a large Chapman. It had felt wonderful, eating good food and catching up with my best friend in the whole world…laughing and gossiping, without our kids vying for our attention.
Now that I am home, and mentally going over what I ate today, it doesn’t feel quite so wonderful. I overshot my allowance by at least 1,500 calories, and had way too much sugar than I should have. Today was definitely a case of 1 step forward, 10 steps back!
October 22nd, 2009
The dark shadow of my slip-up yesterday loomed over me like a spirit, from the very moment I opened my eyes this morning. Even my trainer noticed it in the gym. I was lethargic and demotivated…mainly because I had thought I had regained full control of my cravings, but it turns out I haven’t! After my usual 30-minute treadmill jog, I could only manage 10 minutes of cardio, before cutting the session short. I was too depressed to continue.
Getting home, I brought out my cucumber smoothie from the fridge, and stared at it for a while. Why was I deceiving myself? I was too much of a foodie to think I could ever lose any weight! Yesterday, I had consumed 2 large boxes of popcorn, 1 bottle of fizzy frink, a large plate of goat meat and peppered snail, and a large Chapman…and had done this without even a flinch, or grimace. Eating was obviously second nature to me…and I was just deceiving myself!
So, I reached for the bread bin, and brought out a fresh loaf. Grabbing 6 slices in one handful, I proceeded to apply generous portions of butter, and just sat there munching away. And when those slices were finished, I reached for more, and did the same.
By the time I left the kitchen, 30 minutes later, the entire loaf was gone.
I am now on a slippery slope!
Catch up on Ihunna’s story here:
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 1: Grubbido
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 2: Fragile
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 3: Defiant
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 4: Progress
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 5: The Gym
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 6: Killjoy
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 7: Pain
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 8: Frenemies
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 9: Exhilarated