Confessions of a Fat Girl 23: Delete

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November 22nd, 2009

Sitting in Chidera’s kitchen this afternoon, I was finally able to laugh away all the annoyance from my disastrous lunch date with my former colleagues, on Thursday. I had come visiting, with JJ and the kids, and while I was venting with her in the kitchen, JJ and her husband were talking in the living room, whilst the kids were enjoying her pool. That’s one of the things that they love the most about coming here…that pool. Chidera’s house is truly a masterpiece, and enough justification for her to love living on the other end of town.

“Biko, don’t mind those yeye hags!” she had retorted. She had never really liked my former colleagues “And even Ntianu is talking! She has forgotten that we remember those her mbeke days! Okoro feeling funky!”

I had a good laugh when I remembered Ntianu in those early days…fresh off the bus from Onitsha, with a thick Igbo accent, hairy legs, and heavily lined lips. Trust Chidera to always make me feel better.

She also agrees with Jane and Moroti that I should start a more cerebral business, whilst still running my shop on the site.

“Nne, you were only a few points short of a 1st class oh!” she had reminded me “Don’t let your father hear that na diapers you wan start to dey sell!”

As I said my prayers, later that night, I decided to spend the rest of the year thinking about it. I prayed for direction, so that God would direct me along the right path. Come January 2010, I need to have a clear idea of what it is I’ll be doing with myself!

 

November 23rd, 2009

It’s Monday again, so let us get right to it.

93.7kg!!! I just can’t believe it! Yes, I only lost 1.8kg. But I am so happy to realize that I might soon be in the 80s weight range! Unbelievable! If I can fall below 90kg before we travel to the East for Christmas, that will just make my entire holiday! Not only will I be able to show off in pretty clothes, it will give me enough wiggle room, in case all that good food makes me add a few holiday kilos!

Although I started this journey with weight loss as my main focus, I have realized the bigger picture is about maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Eating clean and healthy (whole, unprocessed foods) is a critical strategy in achieving my goal. So I have drastically limited the amount of processed and packaged foods we eat, as a family, and have also become an avid label reader.

High fructose corn syrup/corn syrup is one of the things I really look out for. This is pure poison, and is designed to keep us fat and addicted to mass marketed junk foods, but it’s also in places where you wouldn’t expect to find it. Splenda, Nutra-Sweet, and other mass marketed artificial sweeteners are also on my “avoid” list. I honestly believe they do way more harm than good!

Even though I do, I try not to get too caught up with counting calories. Dr. Nkechi told me to be on the look out for sodium content, as too much sodium makes me retain water like a cactus. With my family history of hypertension, I have to be sure I watch this like a hawk!

Reading labels has been an education for me and I highly recommend it to anyone who is on a quest for better health. Knowledge is power or, in this case, knowledge is good health!

Back to today, after going to the gym, as I settled down to a lovely meal of quinoa and fruits, I proceeded to check my e-mail. I saw that my half-sister had sent me one, and for a split second, I felt like deleting it before reading. Opening it reluctantly, it was full of such fluffy nonsense, that I wondered why she keeps bothering with them! She has been badgering me with e-mails for the last few years, trying desperately to befriend me. She likes to pretend that she’s in my life. I like to pretend she, her brother, and of course, their Mother, don’t exist. I know it’s not exactly healthy, but it is the best way for me to cope. I know it’s childish of me to be punishing her for the sins of her parents, but who ever said life is fair! I simply can’t welcome her into my life, with open arms…especially because her being in this world is one of the reasons my own life had changed the way it had. With a long hiss, I hit the Delete button. It’s not by force, abeg! Let her go and disturb Ogonna and Akwaugo, biko!

Normally, that e-mail would have sent me straight to the fridge, where I would have eaten myself crazy. But I didn’t. Instead, I tried my new relaxation technique of closing my eyes, and focusing on taking slow, deep breaths. It worked like a charm!

Very soon, I was able to get over my anxiety, I have to remember that feelings are just feelings…they have no power over me. How I choose to react to them is what is going to make all the difference in my life.

Words on marble!

 

 

Catch up on Ihunna’s story here:

  1. Confessions of a Fat Girl 1: Grubbido
  2. Confessions of a Fat Girl 2: Fragile
  3. Confessions of a Fat Girl 3: Defiant
  4. Confessions of a Fat Girl 4: Progress
  5. Confessions of a Fat Girl 5: The Gym
  6. Confessions of a Fat Girl 6: Killjoy
  7. Confessions of a Fat Girl 7: Pain
  8. Confessions of a Fat Girl 8: Frenemies
  9. Confessions of a Fat Girl 9: Exhilarated
  10. Confessions of a Fat Girl 10: Popcorn
  11. Confessions of a Fat Girl 11: Free-fall
  12. Confessions of a Fat Girl 12: Sunday Morning
  13. Confessions of a Fat Girl 13: Mission Reactivated
  14. Confessions of a Fat Girl 14: New Things
  15. Confessions of a Fat Girl 15: Bad Business
  16. Confessions of a Fat Girl 16: Luxury Items
  17. Confessions of a Fat Girl 17: The Solution
  18. Confessions of a Fat Girl 18: Magic Formula
  19. Confessions of a Fat Girl 19: Date Night
  20. Confessions of a Fat Girl 20: Quinoa
  21. Confessions of a Fat Girl 21: Perfect Fit
  22. Confessions of a Fat Girl 22: Keeping In Touch

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1 COMMENT

  1. feelings are just feelings…I have to remember that. I get stressed out often and too easily and it is wrecking my healthy lifestyle. I have been so used to fixing my emotional life with food. Thanks for sharing…I saw 92kg one time when I lost weight….I can’t wait to get back there and get past that place very fast!

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