November 13th, 2009
After a few weeks of missing it, JJ and I decided to make tonight date night!!!
So, the whole day, that was all I could think about. For some reason, I was as giddy as a school girl…which is surprising, considering how frequently my husband and I do date. We are one of those couples who really, genuinely, enjoy each other’s company, and we have been able to make ‘date night’ from just sitting in our living room, with a bottle of Jack Daniels for company.
But here I was today, as excited as a girl going on a first date. And as I stood before my closet, deliberating what to wear, I realized why I felt that way. It was the first time in a long, long time that I was excited about getting all dressed up.
You see, by the time I crossed the size 20-mark, clothes stopped interesting me. Don’t get me wrong, I would still shop, and somehow always managed to find nice looking plus-size outfits, but when it came to actually wearing them, one glimpse of a fat arm here, or a stomach bulge there, or rubbing thighs there, would be enough to send me back to my ever-reliable tunics. They had become my uniform…tunics. Thanks to the growing number of Nigerian designers that were now thinking outside the box, and also the wonderful shops I had discovered in Dubai, I had a closet full of tunics in perhaps every shape, colour, and design imaginable. But the thing about those tunics, whilst they hid all the lumps and bulges, they always ended up making me look bigger still. No matter how beautifully made up I was, or how awesome my hair looked, all I could see in the mirror was a round ball, clothed in swathing chiffon.
But standing in front of my closet, I knew there would be no tunic today.
Eyeing that fitted size-20 dress I said I would try on after my next weigh-in, I didn’t quite feel confident enough to wear it yet. Maybe not something fitted yet…but there are no rules about other silhouettes, are they? So, digging deep into my closet, I found a black, off-the shoulder jersey dress, heavily embellished in silver and gold glitter, and fringed along its sides…and also a size 20! Even though it’s jersey, it isn’t as fitted as the other dress, but instead lightly skims one’s figure. Niiice!
As a rude reminder, a mental picture of the last time I wore it flashed in my head, and it almost made me shove the dress right back in the closet. It had been at the Christmas party JJ had organized for his staff, about 4 years ago. I was still in denial about no longer being a size 20, and had proceeded to squeeze myself into the dress. It was a colossal mess! It was so tight, that I could barely walk, and the embellishments left red marks on my skin. When I had seen the pictures from the night, I had been driven to tears. That was the last time I wore it.
But today, it just slid right on. Perfect fit! In fact, it was even a little loose at the sides! I couldn’t believe it!
By the time I was dressed for the evening, the smile on JJ’s face was one I hadn’t seen in a few years.
“You look the business!” he had remarked, with a low whistle. Yep, the man was lusting after me.
Well, after going through the stress of getting my face professionally done, he better!
Walking into the restaurant, I actually felt a few eyes checking me out. Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t become Agbani Darego overnight. I’m still a chubby girl, but I guess no longer on the obese side of chubby. As the waiter led us to our table, from the clench in JJ’s jaw, I saw that my husband had also noticed the people staring! How long had it been since my husband had actually been jealous concerning me??! I was giddy at the very thought.
The night was perfect! Sheer perfection. Instead of gisting and gossiping like old women, as we normally would have, JJ and I had flirted and teased all night. It was beginning to feel like old times!
I don’t need to write how the night ended! It was the perfect end to a perfect day!
November 14th, 2009
Still on a high from yesterday, I woke up quite early, and spent some time in prayer and meditation. My life just feels perfect! I have the most wonderful man in the world, beautiful and healthy children that mean the world to me, a loving family (well, mostly), a very healthy bank account despite being a pseudo-housewife with a failing business, good health, and now finally, a body I am beginning to feel proud of. It’s like God is compensating me for the traumatic childhood I had. Father Lord, I will forever magnify and glorify Your holy name!
Before sunrise, I decided to prepare a quick-fix detoxification remedy for myself. I’ve been doing some reading about how toxins are stored in our body fat, and since I’ve still got lots of fat and, no doubt, more toxins than your average nuclear power plant, I decided to detox. So, I made juice, from ginger, and four cloves of garlic for the immune system boost. Needless to say, it did not taste good. By the time the rest of my household was awake, I was reeking so much of garlic, I was banished to my bedroom! The same JJ who couldn’t keep his hands off me last night, was now talking to me from a distance, with his hand covering his nose! Imagine!
Well, I’ve decided to enjoy my solitude. It’s raining, so we couldn’t have gone running anyway. So, I sat on my bed all day, sipping on green tea, and watching my Sex and the City boxette.
Next…weigh-in on Monday!!!
Catch up on Ihunna’s story here:
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 1: Grubbido
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 2: Fragile
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 3: Defiant
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 4: Progress
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 5: The Gym
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 6: Killjoy
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 7: Pain
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 8: Frenemies
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 9: Exhilarated
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 10: Popcorn
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 11: Free-fall
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 12: Sunday Morning
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 13: Mission Reactivated
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 14: New Things
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 15: Bad Business
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 16: Luxury Items
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 17: The Solution
- Confessions of a Fat Girl 18: Magic Formula