Confessions of a Fat Girl 91: Time to Move On

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26th March, 2010

Thankfully, Thursday night was another great one, with us again deciding not to make any mention of Somto’s name, but instead choosing to gossip about the people we’ve worked with, and the crazy bosses we’ve had. Thankfully, it was enough to keep us both entertained, and with thoughts of Somto completely at bay.

But this morning, after Chidera left for work, I decided to get to the very bottom of this situation, once and for all. I was very disappointed to hear that no member of Somto’s family had tried broker any form of reconciliation between the two. Chidera had deliberately kept the news away from her siblings, who would be sure to chew off Somto’s head, with their bare teeth, if they ever got a whiff of any of this. And as both their parents her late, it is no surprise that her own side of the family hasn’t been involved.

But Somto, on the other hand, especially after having left the country, with suitcases in tow, surely that should have sent some clues about the state of their brother’s marriage.

And so, unbeknownst to Chidera, I decided to go a-hunting for Somto’s older sister, Ifeoma. From the few times I’ve met her, I was able to glean that she worked in one of the newer generation banks. So, like a blindfolded dog chasing a bone, I decided to go hunting for her.

I was quite surprised by the warm welcome I got, when I located the branch where she worked.

“Oh hello!” Ifeoma exclaimed. “Wow, Ihunna! You look so well. You must have lost a few kilos since the last time we saw!”

Thanking her for the compliment (which literally sent me to cloud nine), I proceeded to ask her if we could talk in private.

When we were seated in a clear meeting room, I decided to just come out with it. As I talked and talked about the situation of her brother’s marriage, I noticed that she didn’t exhibit any real reaction. She just sat, and listened.

When I was done, she heaved a deep sigh. “Ihunna, I hear you. And believe me when I say that this has grieved my heart for years…But there is nothing I can do about it. I tried to intervene when this whole trouble started, a few years ago…”

“Oh? You already tried to intervene?” I asked, surprised, as this wasn’t the impression I’d gotten from Chidera.

Ifeoma nodded. “Chichi came to us when Somto’s behavior changed…and our late Mom and I tried to patch things up. And for a while, we actually thought all was well with them…But about two years ago, just before our Mother died, he came to tell us that it still wasn’t working…and that he wanted out of the marriage. But our Mom would not hear anything of it…” she shrugged. “Now that she is dead, I guess he has no more reason to stay…”

I was still exasperated, at this point. “Can I ask you a question, Ifeoma? Why would Somto’s behaviour change, totally unprovoked? Why would a man just wake up and decide that he no longer loves his wife, and then proceed to walk out on, not only his wife, but his children as well?!”

Ifeoma didn’t answer immediately. Instead, she tapped her fingers on the table, deep in thought.

“I’m going to tell you something, Ihunna…something I don’t think would be a good idea to share with Chichi…unless, of course, you want to hurt her.”

I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like what I was about to hear.

“Somto married Chichi to make everyone but himself happy. As the only son, it was the unspoken agreement that he would marry a Nigerian, and raise his kids in Nigeria. So, he pretty much did what he had to do.”

I felt anger beginning to well inside me. “So, let me guess. He left behind his true love in London. Is that what you are about to tell me? That he has gone back to the woman he really loves?”

“Well…yes and no!” Ifeoma answered. “Yes, he did leave behind the woman he loved. But no, she didn’t sit around and wait for him. She returned to Greece after she heard he’d married, and, from what I hear, she has her own family now as well,” she sighed. “Look, Ihunna! I don’t know what to say! We all hoped he would warm up to the idea of being married to Chichi. I wasn’t gaga crazy about my husband when we married, but over the years, I learnt to love him. I just thought it would be the same for my brother…”

I was overwhelmed with disgust, as I looked at her. “So, you knew your brother wasn’t in love with Chidera…but yet, you opened your eyes and let him destroy the life of an innocent girl! My cousin was only 24 years old when she got entwined with your brother. She could have had her pick from a crowd full of men who truly loved her! But she chose Somto…and now look where that got her!”

“It’s nobody’s fault, Ihunna. These things happen.” Ifeoma answered.

“Oh? I guess it’s also nobody’s fault that a 13 year old marriage has fallen apart, and a 37 year old woman is now left alone, wondering what to do with herself, and how she will care for 3 children all by herself. Nobody’s fault, abi?”

Ifeoma rose to her feet. “It’s unfortunate. But there’s nothing that can be done. Somto has sacrificed enough. He deserves to be happy now.”

“So does Chidera…and the sooner she can be free to move on with her life…the better.” I rose to my feet. “Please tell your brother to expect divorce papers. I think you will agree that he has tied her down for long enough.”

I was grateful that I had a driver, as I’m not sure my anger would have allowed me see clearly enough to drive. I was enraged! I was mad about how cavalier Ifeoma had been about the whole thing, talking about it as if it had been a minor inconvenience.

I decided it was time for Chidera to tell her family about their separation. As painful as it would be, she’d have to hear everything Ifeoma had told me…everything!

She has lost enough time pining for a man that clearly never loved her. It is time to move on.

 

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Catch up on Ihunna’s story here:

  1. Confessions of a Fat Girl 1: Grubbido
  2. Confessions of a Fat Girl 2: Fragile
  3. Confessions of a Fat Girl 3: Defiant
  4. Confessions of a Fat Girl 4: Progress
  5. Confessions of a Fat Girl 5: The Gym
  6. Confessions of a Fat Girl 6: Killjoy
  7. Confessions of a Fat Girl 7: Pain
  8. Confessions of a Fat Girl 8: Frenemies
  9. Confessions of a Fat Girl 9: Exhilarated
  10. Confessions of a Fat Girl 10: Popcorn
  11. Confessions of a Fat Girl 11: Free-fall
  12. Confessions of a Fat Girl 12: Sunday Morning
  13. Confessions of a Fat Girl 13: Mission Reactivated
  14. Confessions of a Fat Girl 14: New Things
  15. Confessions of a Fat Girl 15: Bad Business
  16. Confessions of a Fat Girl 16: Luxury Items
  17. Confessions of a Fat Girl 17: The Solution
  18. Confessions of a Fat Girl 18: Magic Formula
  19. Confessions of a Fat Girl 19: Date Night
  20. Confessions of a Fat Girl 20: Quinoa
  21. Confessions of a Fat Girl 21: Perfect Fit
  22. Confessions of a Fat Girl 22: Keeping In Touch
  23. Confessions of a Fat Girl 23: Delete
  24. Confessions of a Fat Girl 24: Philosophical
  25. Confessions of a Fat Girl 25: Keep it Moving
  26. Confessions of a Fat Girl 26: My Co-Wife
  27. Confessions of a Fat Girl 27: Old Jeans & Old Friends
  28. Confessions of a Fat Girl 28: Prawn Stir Fry
  29. Confessions of a Fat Girl 29: Facebook Tagging
  30. Confessions of a Fat Girl 30: Detox Part 2
  31. Confessions of a Fat Girl 31: Abs & Crunches
  32. Confessions of a Fat Girl 32: Making Notes
  33. Confessions of a Fat Girl 33: Christmas Party
  34. Confessions of a Fat Girl 34: Ashiedu
  35. Confessions of a Fat Girl 35: Willpower
  36. Confessions of a Fat Girl 36: Packing…and TV
  37. Confessions of a Fat Girl 37: Last Minute
  38. Confessions of a Fat Girl 38: Body Image
  39. Confessions of a Fat Girl 39: Christmas Trip
  40. Confessions of a Fat Girl 40: Christmas in the Village
  41. Confessions of a Fat Girl 41: Daddy’s Girl
  42. Confessions of a Fat Girl 42: 2010
  43. Confessions of a Fat Girl 43: Uzoamaka
  44. Confessions of a Fat Girl 44: Sugar Binge
  45. Confessions of a Fat Girl 45: The E-mail
  46. Confessions of a Fat Girl 46: She whose name must not be repeated
  47. Confessions of a Fat Girl 47: Smokescreen
  48. Confessions of a Fat Girl 48: Running away
  49. Confessions of a Fat Girl 49: Fry-Up
  50. Confessions of a Fat Girl 50: The Only Solution
  51. Confessions of a Fat Girl 51: The Intervention
  52. Confessions of a Fat Girl 52: Tri-State Sisters
  53. Confessions of a Fat Girl 53: Manhattan
  54. Confessions of a Fat Girl 54: Daddy’s Girls
  55. Confessions of a Fat Girl 55: Stunned Silence
  56. Confessions of a Fat Girl 56: Bereavement
  57. Confessions of a Fat Girl 57: The Reconciliation
  58. Confessions of a Fat Girl 58: Staying Back
  59. Confessions of a Fat Girl 59: Friends & Marriage Proposals
  60. Confessions of a Fat Girl 60: Colourful and Happy
  61. Confessions of a Fat Girl 61: Sweet Potato & Chicken Salad
  62. Confessions of a Fat Girl 62: Miss Amerikana
  63. Confessions of a Fat Girl 63: Tragi-Romantic
  64. Confessions of a Fat Girl 64: Dead to me
  65. Confessions of a Fat Girl 65: Love Triangle
  66. Confessions of a Fat Girl 66: Forever my lady
  67. Confessions of a Fat Girl 67: Fight to the death
  68. Confessions of a Fat Girl 68: Hard choice to make
  69. Confessions of a Fat Girl 69: Back to reality
  70. Confessions of a Fat Girl 70: Life Reflections
  71. Confessions of a Fat Girl 71: Oatmeal, Blueberry & Banana Pancakes
  72. Confessions of a Fat Girl 72: The Engagement
  73. Confessions of a Fat Girl 73: Pillow Talk
  74. Confessions of a Fat Girl 74: Secretive Sister
  75. Confessions of a Fat Girl 75: Homemade Soup
  76. Confessions of a Fat Girl 76: Nna Men!
  77. Confessions of a Fat Girl 77: Comfort Food…Healthy Food
  78. Confessions of a Fat Girl 78: Miracle Working God
  79. Confessions of a Fat Girl 79: Lumps, Bumps and Jiggles
  80. Confessions of a Fat Girl 80: Oyibo Boyfriend
  81. Confessions of a Fat Girl 81: Wedding Gowns 
  82. Confessions of a Fat Girl 82: My New Friend
  83. Confessions of a Fat Girl 83: Emotional vs Physical Hunger
  84. Confessions of a Fat Girl 84: Look like an Mgbeke
  85. Confessions of a Fat Girl 85: Food Cravings
  86. Confessions of a Fat Girl 86: Who am I?
  87. Confessions of a Fat Girl 87: Separation, Counselling…Divorce
  88. Confessions of a Fat Girl 88: A Man’s World
  89. Confessions of a Fat Girl 89: Envy, Weight and Love!
  90. Confessions of a Fat Girl 90: Regret

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3 COMMENTS

  1. Yes, i agree with Ihunna, she must tell Chidera everthing so the poor woman stops hoping that her hubby will come back home, its about time she moved on no matter how painful its going to be. Sacrifice indeed.

  2. Poor Chidera!!!!
    Hmmmm May we never see such evil….This is evil oh, so he pretended for that long? Cos if he truly gave it all his best then he would have tried harder, so nothing she could have done could please him….wicked man!!!!!! i wonder why men can’t stand up to their parents, marry poor women and wake up tomorrow and say oh im gay was forced to marry you crap….
    Grow huge balls Somto!!!! #longesthissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

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