Confessions of a Fat Girl 63: Akwaugo’s Surprise!


February 11th, 2010

As soon as I was done with the school run, I joined the rush hour traffic out of the estate, for probably the first time in years! The first appointment Ezioma and I had for the day was scheduled for 9am. Apparently, the lady wanted to have a quick look at the hampers, before dashing off for a series of meetings.

Driving through the traffic, I felt a renewed sense of purpose, and the most excited I have felt about anything in a long while. And this was without even being a part of putting the hampers together. I wonder how ecstatic I would have been if I had been a part of the process from the very beginning!

As for how I look today, well, I know it could have been better. If only I had stuck to the plan, I would have been able to show off a slimed down body. Even though I have slowly started losing the weight, I am still quite heavy, and didn’t feel confident enough to really dress up…so I had resorted to my long time savior…a tunic! In all fairness, I chose a rather smart tunic…in white and black, so I would like to say I looked the part.

Driving into the car park, I sighted Ezioma’s car, and managed to find a spot near her. She looked just as excited as I was. Peeping into her car, all the 25 lower end hampers were neatly stacked. I still couldn’t get my head around the fact that we had already sold all the 20 expensive ones. It was definitely an indicator that we had to do more next time.

We were scheduled to visit 10 places, but we didn’t make it past the 3rd, before we were completely sold out. From the excited gasps everyone gave when they found out how much the hampers were going for (I almost started wishing we had added a few more thousands to the retail price), to the amazement at the quality of what each one contained, it was clear that we had done a very good job indeed. Both the male and female themed hampers were a smash hit!

As we rode the elevator down, after our last meeting, Ezioma started singing the theme song to Celebrity Apprentice (‘For the Love of Money’, by the O’jays), and I joined in. It was the quickest profit I had ever made in my life! Just from the 45 hampers, Ezioma and I have quadrupled our initial investment! Imagine what would have happened if we had had the courage to invest more!

It feels so good to win at something! To excel at something! 2010 is already looking very good indeed!


February 12th, 2010

Still on a high from yesterday, I went at it in the gym, like my life depended on it! No more slow starting, and pussy footing around the treadmill. I decided to go at it hard!!! I am determined to see a much friendlier number when I hop on that scale, on Monday!

As I will be heading back to Enugu on Tuesday, which leaves me with only one more day to come to the gym (considering I won’t be here over the weekend), I knew I needed to ‘chop as much steel’ as I could.

And I did!

As I drove home, I thought of my sister, Ogonna. Every day I speak with her, she sounds more and more like a native…like she never left Enugu. She now communicates mostly in Ibo to me, and it is easy to tell that she is having the time of her life.

And when I told her about the incriminating picture of her and Ifeanyi on Facebook, she hadn’t even seemed bothered. Not even when I reminded her that Chiemela could see it!

Hmmm! This one na wahala!

With Chiemela supposed to be arriving Nigeria next week, I wonder how my dear sister is going to juggle her NYC bobo, with her Naija admirer. The irony of life! This is a woman who has gone for years with zero male attention. Now, she is spoilt for choice.

After a shower, I settled in with my smoothie (a delicious combination of orange juice, pineapples, bananas, and no-fat yoghurt), and started reviewing the spreadsheet Ezioma sent, documenting all our sales, and the cost of the items. Even though we had been able to work it out, it is still imperative to conduct an audit, and I am the one with the required experience, the onus has fallen on me.

Midway through, I got a phone from my sister, Akwaugo. Looking at the time, I wondered what she was doing awake at 5.30am her time.

“Is there anything you need me to bring for you?” was the first thing she asked.

“Huh?!”  was my own confused response. “What are you talking about? And why are you awake so early?”

“I just booked my ticket,” she answered. “I’ve decided to come for the funeral. I think it’s high time someone with sense came to knock some sense into the two of you, and to counter whatever hypnosis is going on there!”

I squealed in excitement. Nothing could have prepared me for this wonderful news!

“When do you arrive?” I asked, barely able to contain myself.

“I’m flying in with Chiemela on Monday,” she answered. “I remember you said you’ll be leaving on Tuesday, and heaven forbid me to fly in that your country unaccompanied! Not with the way planes crash left, right, and centre!”

I didn’t even bother stating the obvious to her, that if the plane was going crash, my flying with her would not make a difference. I was way too excited to even bother with sarcasm.

As we discussed the logistics, I was giddy with excitement!

My father is finally going to be able to see all his girls!!!




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